Insanity from Melinda's Scrambled Mind

Fingers Crossed!

2007-07-04T22:13:00.000+01:00

Keep your fingers crossed for me! I had two interviews today. The first one went really well, and the company says that they are very interested in hiring me. We'll see what comes of that. The second interview, which is for the job that I actually want out of the two, went so well that before I even left the room I was asked back for a second interview! My recruitment agent Jane rang me to say that the interviewer was totally impressed with me and thinks that I'd be perfect for one of the roles she was considering me for. I'm so excited! The benefits package is brilliant.

Between interviews Jane rang me to say that one of the law firms she had passed my details to for a legal secretary position actually wants me to come in for an interview for a paralegal position! Wow, that would be great! I really do like the firm I interviewed with today though, but I'll go see what they have to say.

The day wasn't perfect though. I was late to the first interview because of traffic (only by about five minutes though), and when I went round a roundabout the sat nav I borrowed from my ex-husband came unstuck, flew off the window and cracked the screen. I've now used a chunk of my savings to replace it, which I didn't need right now. Still, I was considering buying one since I'll have a new city to learn to get around, and the broken one can be fixed so I'll just have it for myself.

Now it really does look like just a matter of finding a place to live because a job will come sooner rather than later. We called into a letting agent's office today, and that was a bit of a laugh. She doesn't have any three bedroom houses or flats, but she does have a two bedroom penthouse she says is a bargain! From a council house in Chesterfield to a penthouse flat? I think that would be culture shock of the highest degree!

Eventful Week

2007-06-28T22:45:00.000+01:00

I can't say that this week has been boring. It started off with a bang (of sorts) with two interviews for jobs on Monday. I actually never showed up for the interview I went down there for in the first place because I went to an appointment at an agency and ended up freaking them out. In a good way, of course.

It's a recruitment agency who has contracts with some of the top law firms in that city.* The woman I spoke to on the phone when I was making the appointment sounded like she was interested in seeing me, but didn't seem all that enthusiastic. That seemed to change once I got there. The first thing they had me do was take a typing test. I took it, the results printed off, and one of the girls in reception looked at me funny. She said that I would have to take an audio typing test because of my typing test results. I took it, the results printed off, and one of the girls in reception looked at me funny. Sense a pattern here?

Turns out that my typing speed was 84 words per minute with a 1% error rate. My audio typing speed was 62 words per minute with no errors. That's what freaked them out. The average typing speed for the people on their books is - get this - 35 words per minute.
Suddenly people from various parts of the agency were coming in, giving me their business cards, and showing me jobs they'd like to put me forward for. I have one interview next week for a law firm who has said that they're keen to speak to me about two jobs, so much so that if I have any offers before I go in, I'm to let them know immediately so they can push my interview forward.

I had another interview with a different recruitment agency that afternoon, and they've got me an interview for the same day next week. Things are looking good, and the company where I work now is very supportive of me because they realise I'm not going because I want more money or am dissatisfied with the company but because I'm following David down there. Well, that's one of the reasons but I'm happy for them to latch onto that one.

I almost didn't make it back to Chesterfield Monday night. When we got to the train station so I could catch my 20.00 train, we found out that nothing was running north of Derby. David brought me home, then he got stuck in Chesterfield because the town was flooded. Badly. The whole area has been flooding. He did make it to work on time the next morning but he had to set off at 6.30 just to get out of Chesterfield.

Chesterfield didn't fare very well yesterday when one of the grocery stores in the town centre caught fire. It's smack in the middle of a busy shopping precinct as well. The smoke was so bad we could see it from our office, and when I got home I discovered that my house was in the smoke path. Yuck.

As for work ... Let's not go there. My desk has enough paper on it from the week I was away that I'm sure it's an entire tree!

*I'm still not revealing where I'm moving to in public though will be happy to tell my true friends where I'm heading. Obviously it's south of Chesterfield but that's all I'm saying for now.

Hi Honey! I'm Home!

2007-06-22T22:41:00.000+01:00

Oh my goodness, what a fabulous week I've just had! David and I took off for a week in Tenerife - a week of absolutely grueling work laying by the roof-top pool with views of mountains on one side and the ocean on the other while drinking beer, reading and working on our tans. Of course I added to that by jumping in the pool occasionally. In the evenings we kept on working by walking along the beach, eating fabulous meals and drinking in Spanish bars.

I didn't even take time off last weekend. I sat in the Sports Cafe in Las Americas drinking amaretto and Coke while watching the US Grand Prix. That is unbelievably hard work! We played pool in there another night, only the third time I've ever really played. Of course I lost to the shark (bastard!) but he had to admit that I'm better than he thought I would be so I just need to practice. He claims I'll never beat him though. Yeah, we'll see about that ...

The only day we didn't spend by the pool was on Wednesday when we jumped on a boat in search of dolphins and/or whales. We were told we were guaranteed to at least see whales but we were really lucky and saw a large school of dolphins. They have never been hunted in that area so they came right up to the boat!

I had tried to hide a secret from David but in the airport on the way out my secret was out. We were in the departure lounge when it was announced "Could passenger Knowles travelling to Tenerife please go to the Special Assistance desk?" Well that was it. For the rest of the trip David told me I couldn't help it if I have special needs and that it's good to be special! (Don't you laugh, Lindsey! He's decided you have special needs too which is why you and I get on so well!) Obviously it wasn't me they were calling to the desk but a different passenger who was on crutches, but I've been branded for life now!

I have to highly recommend the hotel where we stayed, the Costa Adeje Gran. It was beautiful! Okay, the entertainment in the evenings was more amusing than spectacular, but it gave us a laugh. One of the lounge entertainers sang "It's a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong in a voice that sounded more Yoda or Fozzie Bear than Louis Armstrong, so David and I decided that they were playing our song, but it only counts if Fozzie Bear sings it!

We do have a few photos that I will post as soon as I can get the cable to David's camera (he left me the camera but my cable doesn't fit it). I will edit one of the photos so I can post it. The first full day we were there I forgot to top up my sunblock on the backs of my thighs after I'd been sitting down for a while, so when I flipped over I got a bit of a burn which was hysterical after I took my bikini off. My ass was bright white and my legs bright red!

So we had seven days of hard work but we must be a pair of workaholics because we've decided to go to Portugal later this year and do it all over again! Since I hope to be doing LOTS of traveling over, well, the rest of my life really, I've started a travel blog with a map and all that on it:

My Travel Blog on RealTravel

What a Weekend!

2007-02-26T23:38:00.000Z

Okay, I'm hooked. I was really enjoying watching the Six Nations on the telly, but now that I've actually been to a match ... You just can't beat seeing something live! And I'm thrilled to have been at a match where Italy had their first away win in the Six Nations. That first eight minutes of play is something I'll never forget!

I also made my first ever trip to Scotland. You'd think that having been in Britain for over nine years I'd have been there, but better late than never! I did get to see a few sites, though I didn't go for the sightseeing. I went for the rugby. But I'll never stop being a history nut, so it was great having a look around Linlithgow Palace and to catch a glimpse (albeit through drunken eyes) at Edinburgh Castle.

One very interesting experience was being in an Irish pub in Edinburgh watching England play Ireland. Needless to say there weren't very many England supporters in there! It was packed to the point of not being able to move, but I loved every minute of it.

On the way back to England we managed to catch up with my mate Pauline, which was wonderful! We chat online and text each other a lot, but you can't beat meeting up with some one face to face.

I didn't take my proper digital camera because, like I said, I didn't go for the sightseeing, I went for the rugby and didn't want to be out drinking with a big ol' camera around my neck. I did get a few pics with my camera phone though.

Linlithgow Palace - birthplace of Mary Queen of Scots

David at Linlithgow Palace

The church at Linlithgow Palace

Linlithgow Palace

The Pipes and Drums at Murray Field

Scotland and Italy

Rugby Weekend!

2007-02-21T20:48:00.000Z

I'm making my first trip to Scotland this weekend! David and I are going to watch Scotland play Italy in the rugby Six Nations. I've only recently started following rugby, and I think it's fantastic. He says it's even better live where you get all the atmosphere, something that definitely is lacking when you watch on television. I'll also get my first taste of Edinburgh, somewhere I've always wanted to go, though I'll have to go back if I want to do all the touristy stuff like visit castles! I'm sure some pictures will follow after I sober up ...

On the Threshold of a Milestone ...

2007-02-06T22:05:00.001Z

My last day as a "thirty-something". The last few hours of the last day. And far from feeling apprehensive, depressed or worried that when I wake up tomorrow I will be 40, I feel content. In fact I feel better about myself and my life than I did when I turned 20 or 30.

A few people have commented to me that it's all downhill after turning 40. Why is that? It's just a number at the end of the day. I will be the same person tomorrow that I am today, the only difference being that I move up an age bracket. Life is what you make of it, and I've finally learned to make the most of it!

I was pleasantly surprised tonight to get a very nice birthday present from my ex-husband, his wife and the boys. The ex tends to be a bit practical where presents are concerned. For Christmas they got me a toasted sandwich maker, and for my birthday they gave me a coffee maker. How cool is that?

My best friend Michelle popped round this evening, too, and she brought me chocolates and flowers. Always a great present to give a woman, and entirely acceptable from one female to another (I can't see it going down very well if it were a man giving them to another man somehow, but then again I hate to stereotype).

I'm taking tomorrow of work as a holiday, which it is in a fashion. It's the anniversary of my entrance into the world, and I'm going to spend it just chilling out. Originally I'd planned to sleep late, do a lot of reading, maybe do some shopping and have a massage at the gym. Now I have to fork out for a new clutch for the Barbie Jeep, so the shopping and massage are out the window, but that's okay. Plans change. I can still go to the gym for the jacuzzi, sauna and aromatherapy room. And I can window shop instead of splashing out.

What I won't be surprised by is the phone call I will get from my parents and my father's comment that I'm old now that I've turned 40. And, giving my traditional response honed from past milestones, I will say "At least I don't have a 40 year old daughter".

British Grand Prix 2007!

2007-01-25T19:39:00.001Z

How excited am I? Last night I booked tickets for the British Grand Prix! Silverstone, here I come!

The other two times I've been I've gone general admission. That's fun, but I always wanted to have grandstand seats on the pit straight, so this time, that's exactly what I booked. I used to go to testing quite a lot (and I discovered that they're having testing there in June so might just go again!), and most of the time they let you sit in the pit straight grandstand so I know the view is great. You can see straight down into the pit lane and even some of the garages. I doubt there will be a screen to watch all the action on the rest of the track, but that's okay. I never managed to find somewhere in general admission where I could see a screen without getting terrible neckache anyway!

Now I've just got to get on the phone and scream at the Silverstone booking office. I bought two tickets, and they've charged me twice for them! How rude is that?

It's All in the Attitude

2007-01-03T19:53:00.000Z

For the past few weeks I've gone into work dreading having to deal with stroppy people and a manager who doesn't seem to know how to manage. I learned today that I've been going about it all wrong.

Yesterday had to have been the worst. The manager didn't listen to what I was saying when he asked me questions. I ended up arguing with someone working in a call centre in India. By the time I headed home, I had a splitting headache and a need to take out my frustrations on my DIY project.

This morning I told myself that I was going to have a great day at work, and guess what happened ...

My manager actually paid attention to my answers to his questions. He even approved my request for a couple of days holiday in July when I sent it to him and thought it was cool that I'm taking them off to go to the British Grand Prix. The garages and fleet managers I spoke to on the phone were all happy to send me the information I needed because I was pleasant and friendly. Okay, I'm always pleasant and friendly but I think my positive attitude came across down the phone.

Best of all, when I had to deal with the same call centre in India, I kept that pleasant and friendly manner when the stroppy cow at the other end started making threats. I kept my cool while she ranted and raved, and in the end I got the information I needed, and she finally realise that I was there to help her get the claim we were both working on settled. My co-worker who originally took the call (and passed it through to me because her blood pressure was rising) said that she couldn't have done it without putting the phone down on her. I think the thing that got to Jo most was when she told the other woman that she was through to the claims centre in Chesterfield and got the reply "Where the hell is Chesterfield?"

I learned another lesson today. Estate agents are total flirts. One of my fleets is made up of nothing but estate agents who keep crashing their cars or putting petrol in their tanks instead of diesel (do you realise how much it costs to fix a BMW after someone has misfueled it?). Compared to a stroppy cow in India they were a joy to talk to, and I got the biggest laugh when one guy was chatting me up when I knew he'd reported the claim after his wife crashed the car!

Work could become even more fun. They're trying really hard to hire new staff, but so far out of the last four people they've hired, I'm the only one who has lasted more than one day. Two rang up to quit before they even started. We were all asked today to pass on applications if we know anyone who might be interested in a job, and Donna has filled one out! How cool would it be if she worked there?

DIY Project

2007-01-02T22:46:00.000Z

I'm so proud of myself I just had to post a picture. My DIY skills are definitely improving! I've never put up a curtain pole by myself, but tonight I did it!

Okay, I know. It's no big deal putting up a curtain pole. But to me it's an accomplishment because I'd been procrastinating. I'm usually crap at doing stuff like that. I almost gave up once tonight because I thought I was doing something wrong. A long hot bath gave me time to come up with an idea how to fix it, and it worked.

And yes, I did iron the curtains before I hung them. It wasn't until I saw the picture and saw the shadows in the creases that I realised it didn't look ironed. I am not taking them down tonight to re-iron though ... I don't want to start swearing again!

Now I've just got to figure out how to install the new light fitting in the kitchen ... Best get some help with that one. I wonder if my dad is willing to fly over to lend me a hand. Then again, after he put the ceiling fan up in the living room in 1980, it took almost 20 years for him to wire it in properly.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T12:02:00.001Z

Well 2006 is a year that I definitely won't forget. It's brought many changes, and most of them have been changes for the good. For the first time in my life, I'm very content. That doesn't mean I'm complacent and expect life to be a bed of roses from here on out. Quite the opposite. I know there will be lots of downs in the future, but I know I can handle them. In a way I hit rock bottom this year with the lowest being in April and May, and I've come out on the other side smiling. There's no reason why I can't meet anything that life dishes out head on and keep smiling.

The most important change definitely has to involve the kids. At the start of 2006 all four of them were miserable. Malorie and Braden especially were suffering, being treated as slaves while I was trying to get to lectures and seminars and just get through my last year of university in general. Now we're in a new house with a new life. I was touched when Malorie told her friends that I've become more like a big sister to her than a mum. That didn't stop her from rebelling in November, but she had to learn on her own that life doesn't sort itself out just because you've thrown a temper tantrum.

Ricky and Jack are so much happier too. They're in a school that they like. Their old school was good academically, but they were treated as outsiders because of the small community. Now they're learning French, playing football, and involved in school assemblies. And they run back and forth between my house and their dad's constantly. The fact that Richard and I can sit down at the table for Christmas dinner together thrilled them to bits.

How am I celebrating bringing in the New Year? It's not exactly the New Year for me. That came in October with Samhain. But it's the start of a new calendar year, and while most of the people I know are out celebrating with their friends, I'm lucky enough to be at home with my two favourite little boys. (Braden is a big boy, and I wish he and Malorie were here too!) We've been playing board games and are getting ready to watch Little Britain. Right now they're feeding their faces yet again, probably celebrating the fact that they trounced me in the Game of Life.

I've told them that at midnight I expect big kisses from them. That brought a resounding "D'oh!" from the pair of them! But after midnight we're having a feast of bacon and fried egg sandwiches.

I can't even be upset that I can't drink tonight, seeing as how I've been "hired" as a taxi driver for the night by Richard and Donna. But I know who won't have a hangover in the morning!

I wish all of you a happy New Year, full of laughter and joy.

xxx

My Goals for 2007

2006-12-30T22:00:00.000Z

Yes, I decided that with less than two days to go until 2006 is over, I better think about some goals for 2007. Actually I've been thinking of them for some time, but they've been developing and now I think I'm ready to commit them to pen and paper. Well, keyboard and internet anyway! They might change because I'm still thinking about them and refining them.

1. Get a better (or at least more challenging) job. I'm grateful to have the job I have, and it's not the worst I've ever had. Unfortunately the pay is crap and the work is hardly intellectually stimulating. I'm planning on applying to the Probation Service when they have their recruitment period in March.

2. Get my house sorted! I still need a few essentials, like carpet, but all in all it's come along a lot faster than I thought. I just need to get off my ass and do the decorating!

3. Have a real holiday abroad. I needed to carry that over from 2006's goals since I didn't do it. I will ... eventually!

4. Work on the novel I always said I was going to write. So many ideas, so little actually work done.

5. Go to the British Grand Prix. No explanation required for this one, I don't think!

6. Find a physical activity to get involved in. Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant like finding a local Tae Kwon Do school or playing tennis or something like that!

7. Spend more time in mediation and ceremonies. I feel so much better about myself after I do, and I intend to make it a more regular thing, outside the Sabbats as well as do more preparation for special days on the pagan calendar.

8. Save up for a special sporting event in 2008. I'd always said I wanted to go to the Australian GP, so that's one option.

9. Stay on top of the bills. I've been doing great, and I want to keep up the good work!

10. Stay strong. 2006 was a year that taught me a lot. I went from being a wimp who made bad choices to a strong person who thinks things through. I don't do things just because I think I have to anymore. I do things because I want to do them. I've really learned to stand up for myself, and more importantly, that I really like myself.

11. Write more in my personal journal and Book of Shadows. I haven't been doing too badly with my Book of Shadows but my personal journal is a bit hit-and-miss. I like keeping a journal though because I look back at it and see how I grow as a person.

Christmas Pics!

2006-12-27T18:15:00.000Z

I had a fabulous Christmas! I got to spend it with the boys, had a good laugh with Richard and Donna, and enjoyed being totally chilled with David. Now that is what Christmas is all about! It was one of the best Christmases of my adult life! The only one more memorable would have to be 1997 when I had a two day old baby and an 11-month-old celebrating his first Christmas.

Richard and Donna ready for a night out on Christmas Eve

Super Ricky!

Jack coming downstairs to see what Santa brought

Ricky wasn't quite awake ... but it was 2 am!

He eventually woke up properly and got into the spirit of the occasion.

Donna and Ricky

Richard

Jack

Ricky and Jack

Happy Holidays!

2006-12-24T17:10:00.000Z

Another Christmas Eve is here, and the massive build-up to Christmas that started before Halloween will be over in a flurry of torn wrapping paper in less than 24 hours.

But this Christmas has been very different for me. Yes, I've bought the presents, wrapped them, and put them under the tree. My season started earlier this month with Yule, and instead of a sharp peak the morning of the 25th, I've enjoyed a steady celebration of a season instead of a blast of one day's festivities.

I will enjoy tomorrow, there's no doubt about that. I'm spending the night with my boys at their dad's house tonight and will get to see them wake up and open their presents in the morning. I'll share a few drinks with Donna while we cook the Christmas dinner (with me dashing back and forth between our two houses), and hopefully I'll be quite merry by the time the turkey is served. What's not to look forward to there? It'll be interesting to see just how many lewd jokes Richard's Uncle Eric tells, but you can't be around Richard without hearing them so there's not a lot of difference having two of them playing at being comedians. David and I also have plans for Christmas night and Boxing Day that I've really been looking forward to!

What I've already enjoyed is reflection over a few weeks of Yule ceremonies and candle lighting. I feel content, not rushed. I've enjoyed a couple of conversations online with Pauline and Don, two of my dearest friends. For the first time I can remember, I'm relaxed on the 24th of December.

That is apart from the housework I'm trying to make up for after two days of being a bit sore from my encounter with a white van driver ... But hey, even he wished me a Merry Christmas!

Oh My ...

2006-12-23T11:23:00.000Z

Every now and then it's just one of those days when you know you would have been better off staying in bed all day. It's been one of those days for me!

The Christmas driving curse that seems to strike my family hit me today. A few years ago, for two Christmases in a row, in fact, my mother was in car accidents a couple of days before Christmas. She was fine, and neither was her fault, but it started the standing joke about how she shouldn't get out in the run-up to Christmas.

I didn't know the "curse" was going to jump the Atlantic and strike me! I'd been having trouble with my jeep lately because of the extreme cold. Once it warms up its fine, but for a while it makes the most awful noise. So today during my dinner break, I thought I'd take it home and borrow one of my ex's cars so that I wouldn't run the risk of it totally breaking down on the side of the road after work when it was dark.

I stopped for a red light at a roundabout, and BANG! A white van slammed me from behind. How he missed that turquoise jeep stopped in front of him I'll never know! He got out, saw that there was absolutely no damage to either vehicle, wished me a Merry Christmas and took off. The traffic was so heavy I never even got a proper look at his number plate. How many people have said to me "You should have got his vehicle registration number"? Considering what I do for a living, I know I should have, and I did try to! I was a bit shocked by the impact, and what I did get of his number plate vanished in the haze that my brain was experiencing.

I felt fine, headed home to finished what I'd left work to do in the first place, sent a text to someone saying I'd been rear-ended on the dual carriageway, and went back to work. That's when the aches started. Seems I've been given a nice case of whiplash for Christmas. It's not just what I always wanted! I'm fine though. The doctor checked me out, told me off for not going straight to casualty (I felt fine for the first hour or so after it happened), said it was just muscular with nothing broken, and prescribed me some tablets that are going to make the next few days more fun than I could have imagined!

I should have had the afternoon off anyway because we were only scheduled to work until noon with the rest of the day off with pay, but I volunteered to work the full day to get the time and a half. Well, I almost made it through the afternoon!

Tonight I went round that same roundabout on the way to Tesco without incident. I wish I could say going shopping had been incident free, but at one point I lost Jack in the masses of people who had the same idea of waiting until after 10 pm to go in.

And what makes people who, the rest of the year are nice, normal people, suddenly become rude and ignorant because it's a few days before Christmas? It's like they lose all sense of common courtesy once they're in control of a shopping trolley! One woman in a fur coat blocked an aisle for so long it created a back up I can only compare to trying to get off the M1 at Meadowhell!

Now I've had my whinge, the kids are in bed, and I'm going to wrap more presents! It's Jack's birthday tomorrow, and he's already itching to start opening them all!

How'd I Do in 2006?

2006-12-17T14:05:00.000Z

About this time last year I posted my goals for 2006. I believe in setting goals for the New Year rather than make "resolutions". It's something positive to work towards. Now I thought that since 2007 is just around the corner, I'd have a look at how I've done. Not bad, not good, but the way my life changed this year it's any wonder I met any of my goals!

1. Finish university with at least a 2:1. I did it! This was the first goal on my list because it was the most important to me. And despite everything, I made it!

2. Get on top of my debt. Well I still have some outstanding debts, but I've been able to get on top of them, get most paid off and keep my head above water. I haven't been able to buy the kids all the best stuff for Christmas this year, but for the first time in something like five years, I haven't had to take out a loan to buy them presents! And it feels so good!

3. Either get a good job or find a way into an MSc programme. I found a "real job". Okay, it's not what I had in mind when I started my degree, but it's paying the bills and getting some work experience that will help me. I still want to do the MSc, and maybe I can save up the money I need to do it in the next couple of years. I haven't given up on that idea!

4. Have a real holiday. Didn't quite manage that this year. I almost made it to Texas for a fortnight until that was cancelled. In a way I'm glad it was. I had my interviews for this new job during the time I would have been there. I also met someone special for the first time. I did have a fabulous weekend in Holland with Kate, Diana and Martin in July!

5. Get to my goal weight and tone up my body. Have to go 50/50 on this one. I did get to my goal weight, but I've put a bit back on. I'm fairly happy with how much I weigh though. I don't want to be too skinny. As for the toning up ... well, I'm sort of working on that ...

6. Spend more mother-daughter time with Malorie. I did spend a lot more time with her, and at one point she told me that she thought of me more as a big sister than a mum. That's probably why she rebelled when I had to enforce the house rules. But we're closer than we have been in years, and I know she can tell me anything. Scary, but true.

7. Compete in at least one Tae Kwon Do tournament. I did it! I was scared I'd completely forget my pattern, which some of the more experienced women did, but I made it through and actually scored in the mid-field. I had hoped to compete in the British Championships this year, but circumstances kind of blew that idea ...

8. Complete one family scrapbook. Nope. I haven't scrapped a single page since January. I'll stick that goal back on for 2007. With my life being a bit more organised, I'd like to do it. It's very relaxing, and I have so many great photos of the kids!

9. Keep the house tidier. I pretty much put that goal on to appease Simon. His philosophy was that the kids should do all the housework, but what was left over when I got home from university was my job. Once I get this house into shape, it's going to stay that way!

10. Do one of the things on my list of things to do in my lifetime. Yep, I did it! I had something published! Okay, it wasn't in a glamourous publication or anything like that. It was in the Mark Webber Supporters Club fan magazine. But it's an international publication which has been mentioned in F1 Racing Magazine. Good enough for me!

11. Go through my gradings up to green belt. I didn't make it past yellow tag. With needing surgery, I had to give up on going to lessons. I can't seem to find a local Tae Kwon Do school, but my former instructor has schools in Sheffield and Doncaster, and I'm going to see if I can find a class one night during the week with him. He's a great instructor and never once made me feel like an idiot, unlike some of the instructors I've heard about!

My Kids and Wicca

2006-12-10T21:19:00.000Z

gdtownshende said...
You know, I've been curious about this, but haven't asked before. What do the kids think of your becoming Wiccan? Do they think it weird? Are they expecting warts to sprout on your nose any day now? Do they not care? Are they wanting their own brooms to ride on? Do they want to go to Hogwarts now? :P

Seriously, though, (all kidding aside) I'm just curious.

They all have mixed feelings about it, but for the most part they're cool with it. Braden calls me "evil weirdo midget witch", to which I always answer, "But I'm not evil!" Malorie wants to learn more about it and has read a few of the books in my collection. Unfortunately she has a bad habit of telling her friends about her mum being a "witch", which has the side effect of turning me into a side show freak! She tends to associate Wicca with the TV show "Charmed" though.

Ricky hasn't said much about it. He's curious but hasn't made any comment. Jack, on the other hand, is absolutely fascinated by it! Last Monday I set up my altar for a Yule ceremony, and he wanted to stay and watch! I bought a few broomsticks actually, and Jack is determined that he's going to have one of them! I've tried to explain that they aren't for riding on but for ceremonial cleansing (like when I blessed my new house, I used one to "sweep" the bad energy out of the house), and I think he understands.

Hey, if anyone gets to go to Hogwarts, it should be me!

Quietness ...

2006-12-08T21:41:00.000Z

It's about to get very quiet around here! Malorie and Braden are off to Texas tomorrow. I have a feeling that Malorie isn't planning on coming back. She's been giving her things that she can't take to Ricky and Jack, like her precious CD player. She might change her mind once she's lived with her dad for a while, but he spoils her so much, and they're so much alike, that she may decide it's better to be his carer than to come back to England and get a real job!

People probably think I'm a cold hearted bitch because I don't appear to be very upset about it. The thing is, I've learned to take things one day at a time. She has to do what's best for her, and me going into hysterics about it won't do anyone any good. My god, I'm such a different person to what I was like a year ago!

Ricky and Jack are still here, so it won't be quiet all the time. I've even been invited to spend Christmas Eve night at their house. Well, that's mostly because Richard and Donna are going out, but they know that it will mean a lot to me to be there to see the boys on Christmas morning. They invited me to have Christmas dinner with them months ago!

I might just manage to get some decorating done on the house. It's so disorganised that I take one look at the mess, groan, and try not to look again. With the kids gone, I can tackle it properly. That's the plan anyway.

I've also got my job to concentrate on. I knew that, eventually, I might get bored with it because it's not very challenging, but I didn't expect it to happen this soon! It's money coming in though, so I'm not saying I'm bored so I'm going to give up on it. They haven't put me on the phones yet taking new claims, and that should liven it up a bit, at least from what I've heard when my co-workers take calls! I've been making calls to solicitors, insurance companies and garages, which isn't thrilling unless I get to argue with them, and I think I'm just too nice because no one has argued with me yet!

My First Day in the Office ...

2006-11-27T22:06:00.000Z

I survived my first day at my new job! I think it'll work out well. The work is easy enough to pick up, that's for sure. There's a lot to remember, but after meeting some of my fellow employees I'm sure that if they can do it, so can I! Most of them look like they're closer to Malorie's age than mine, but seeing as how I just spent three years at university with fellow students young enough to be my children, I can handle that with no problem.

In fact, one of my former classmates works in the same office! I thought the blonde at the mopier (no, not copier, mopier ...) looked familiar, and it turns out it's my friend Nicola! She was my roommate when we went on the trip to Strasbourg and Brussels in February. The first thing she did after asking what the hell I was doing there was tell me that I have to go with her next Wednesday to our old uni to watch the annual student/teacher Christmas debate. I went last year and it's the most hysterical thing you could ever see! She has big plans for dragging me out clubbing afterwards, but somehow I don't think that showing up on a Thursday morning hung over, and when it's only my second week on the job, would go down too well ... I'll stick with Coke ...

But the company itself seems like it's a good place to work. One of the first things the woman who lead the induction this morning asked is if I have any kids under 12. When I told her about Ricky and Jack, she signed them up for the company's Christmas party for kids, and since I can't do a lot for the boys for Christmas this year due to lack of money, I'm glad I can at least take them to this party. Santa will be there handing out pressies ... They're both very excited about it!

The company is also paying for each team to go for a Christmas lunch next week and giving us an extra hour (paid) so we can enjoy ourselves. Plus there's a New Year's Ball at the end of January. I'm not overly thrilled at the idea of going, especially since it's employees only so I can't even drag someone along with me in case I don't know anyone else going, but the partners and senior management will be there, so it's a chance to let them get to know who I am.

I'm quite excited about having a full-time job, and though I'm sure the work will become pretty routine and boring because it's hardly what you could call challenging, it still gives me my weekends off! Seeing as how things have been happening at the pub lately that have made me reluctant to work there anymore, I'm well out of there and off on the first step of what I hope is a career ladder!

Thanks for the Meme-ories ...

2006-11-26T02:07:00.000Z

Thanks to Gary, I've been tagged with a meme! Now I've just got to figure out who to tag ...

The instructions: you now have to share five little-known facts about yourself, and inflict the Meme on five other unsuspecting Bloggers (or, since I don't really know many Bloggers, I'll post this on MySpace as well!).

1. I was once a movie extra in a film called "Necessary Roughness". It wasn't a box office success, but kinda funny, and it starred Scott Bakula, Sinbad and Kathy Ireland. I got $50 a night for sitting in a football stadium in Denton, Texas for 12 hours, and I was there four nights.

2. When I was in grad school I worked as a dish washer in a Mexican restaurant. The job lasted less than a week because I was grossed out when I discovered they wouldn't let me use the dish washer or hot water, and they recycled uneaten food!

3. I once got job as an "operator" on a sex chat line, but I chickened out and never actually worked. Oh well ...

4. When I was about 14 I wrote the names of all the boys from school that I fancied on a shelf in my bedroom closet. When my dad was painting my old room after I moved out, he found it, and when he got to the shelves he painted around it so it's probably still there!

5. In the middle of the night when I can't sleep, I like watching "Ed, Edd and Eddy"! It's the only reason I had Sky installed in my new house ... Okay, not really, but I do watch cartoons in the middle of the night!

Now five people to tag ...
1. Coco
2. Lisa-Lisa (from Texas)
3. Lisa (from Chesterfield)
4. Joy
5. Jason

How to Tell If Your Next-Door Neighbour is a Witch

2006-11-26T01:14:00.000Z

One of my friends on MySpace posted this a couple of days ago, and I thought it was funny, so I decided to re-post it here ... with my own commentary, of course!

How To Tell If Your Next-Door Neighbour is a Witch
By Andie Gilmour

Fifty sure-fire ways to detect paganism without having to resort to a dunking stool or wart-inspection.

1) Never puts any rubbish out on refuse-collection day. I mean, re-cycling and composting is fine, but you can take it too far. Okay, I'm working on recycling and have the perfect place for a compost heap in my big back garden ...

2) You casually ask what phase the moon is in, and she tells you down to the exact number of days, hour and minute of rising, position on horizon, and current angle of declination. I have a lunar calendar on my MySpace profile!

3) All the stray cats in the neighbourhood tend to congregate in her garden
(and use your own as their litter). I was wondering why there were so many cats hanging around my house!

4) A screech owl has chosen the lamp-post outside her house as its favorite calling-post. That's just when it's getting warm at night and you like to sleep with the window open. Okay, I've yet to see an owl in the wild ... even in the wilds of Chesterfield!

5) Doesn't cut down the weeds in her garden; in fact it looks more like she's cultivating them. Needless to say, you get the seeds wafting over onto your pristine lawn. I don't have a lawn mower yet! The weeds are just biding their time!

6) Most of her clothes on the washing line are black. Nah, I prefer to be a bit more colourful. Even the robes I have picked out are blue!

7) The local kids talk in whispers as they go past her house, then start running at the last moment. The kids in the neighbourhood like talking to me because they think I have a funny accent!

8) Nobody trick-or-treats her house; not after the incident when the kids' costumes were less scary than hers when she opened the door to them. (She was embracing the Crone that year no doubt!) I ran out of candy this year, but I think Malorie may have been eating more than she handed out!

9) Footprints on the roof. And the trees in her flight-path have been pruned down. I swear it's true! Footprints from Santa's reindeer? Oh, from take offs and landings on brooms! I haven't made my broomstick fly ... yet ...

10) She can't even make a simple sandwich without adding fresh herbs to it. And don't ask her for a cup of tea unless you want something yellow coloured and smelling of flowers. I still prefer Mexican food or a nice Indian (though I have the perfect spot for an herb garden when I can finally get out there and do some planting), and I tend to drink Pepsi, even if it is flavoured with a bit of amaretto when I don't have to drive anywhere!

11) She hardly ever gets junk mail. You ask her what her secret is and she confides that she returns it to sender after writing something on in strange curly writing. Is that how it works????? Damn, I was just recycling the crap!

12) When you pop next door for a chat, the kettle is always already on. Usually only because I get a message from my ex-husband saying "Put the kettle on, bint!"

13) The Jehovah's Witnesses never call (not anymore; not after the last time! :-). Oh I'm just waiting for them to show up and start making the sign of the cross at me!

14) Keeps the local scented-candle shop solvent. Buy scented candles? Hell, I'm about to start my candle making business back up again! And I'm my best customer!

15) Has a pond full of frogs (and you haven't seen that bothersome double-glazing salesman around for a while). I don't need double-glazing salesmen, I live in a council house. As for the pond, I have a big puddle of mud in the front garden where they had the skip when they were putting in my new kitchen, but that's it.

16) She's always smiling, darn her! Life is good!

17) She goes dressed as normal to a Hallowe'en fancy dress party; and wins first prize. Maybe next year, you never know ... though I did go as a witch to a Halloween party this year ...

18) Her house always smells of incense. Too true! I love the stuff!

19) Has named her four cats Beelzebub, Kali, Diana, and Moonbeam. (Or her rats Devon and Cornwall). I don't have a cat, but those are pretty good names, come to think of it! And the closest thing to a rat I've ever had was guinea pigs.

20) Her bumper sticker reads "I brake for toads". Where can I get one? Plenty of men in Chesterfield I prefer to think of as toads, and I suppose I should brake for them too!

21) Frequently gets raided by the drug squad who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves; they always return them with apologies after analysis. Nah, the only dried leaves I have are herbs, dammit!

22) At Christmas, it seems like half the garden has been moved into the house. I'm going to try anyway!

23) You sometimes hear the sound of singing and dancing through the wall. If you look out of the window, it is usually a full moon. I haven't quite gotten into singing and dancing during ceremonies, but there's still time since I'm fairly new to this!

24) She was given a bodhram drum for her birthday. And she plays it at midnight in the fields. And she's got a blasted tamborine. I didn't know I was a pagan at February so no drums. I thought I was just weird back then ...

25) You discover that her realistic resin skull ornament in her living room, actually is real. I have a candle shaped like a skull but no ornaments ... real or otherwise ...

26) You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes. Haven't bought one of those yet, though I do have two glass balls I bought at IKEA!

27) She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when doing the gardening. And bat ear-rings for goodness-sake. I did buy a pentacle ring and necklace at Witchfest that I tend to wear most of the time.

28) You knock on her door and she answers it naked except for a toweling robe. You apologize for disturbing her in the bath, but notice that her hair isn't wet. If I'm busy during anything witchy, I don't answer the door, naked or dressed!

29) Irritating tendency to hum a lot. What's she got to be so happy about, huh? Life?

30) She has a tame robin that will eat from her hand in the garden. That can't be natural. Wrong season to go looking for robins, I think! I don't know much about birds.

31) Never catches a cold, even though she walks barefoot most of the time. In the snow as well. I do walk barefoot a lot, but I had a rotten cold about a month ago.

32) Doesn't kill spiders. Not even big hairy long-legged ones that suddenly appear from the waste-pipe whilst you're having a bath. I prefer the catch and release method to killing them. Except the one in the kitchen. I kinda like him so I've left him alone.

33) She listens to what you are saying like she really cares. And I do!

34) She has lots of female friends who come round every few months. When you ask what they get up to, she tells you that they just have cakes and ale and a good natter. No, I'm a solitary so any friends who come round for cakes and ale are actually coming round for cakes and ale!

35) You catch her hugging a tree. As if I'd let anyone see me ... On this estate?

36) Her dinner-set is decorated with Celtic patterns. Where can I get one of those? IKEA doesn't seem to have them in stock!

37) She has a mail-order account with a semi-precious gem wholesaler. I found a shop in town where I can pick them up so don't need to mail-order.

38) You notice that the parish priest crosses himself whenever he walks past her house. What would Father William make of me ... LMAO

39) She never watches television. And she has shelves full of books with black spines and silver-lettered titles. Oh I watch plenty of telly! CSI, all kinds of crime documentaries, motor sports, other sports, Grey's Anatomy, Friends, shall I continue?

40) To your certain knowledge she has never set foot in the local church. In fact, you have heard rumours that she has been barred from it. I have a weird story about that ... the first time I met David, we arranged to meet outside the "Crooked Spire" in town. I needed the toilet, so I thought I'd go into the church to see if they had a public loo. As soon as I set foot in the door, my mobile rang - it was David. He was running late, and I used the time to go do a bit of shopping. I walked back to the church, and as soon as I got close to it, my mobile rang again. David again, he was going to be a bit longer. SO I went to pick up a new top to go out round town in. I got back to the church, got close to it, and ... well, you can guess what happened ... I don't think I was meant to go near that church that day!

41) She makes jars of quince and mandrake relish for the Women's Institute coffee morning jumble sale. What's quince? And aren't mandrakes those things that look like babies on Harry Potter?

42) You ask to borrow a pack of cards for an impromptu bridge evening, and there are 78 in the pack. I don't have a complete set ... yet.

43) You have never known her to visit her GP. I did last week! For a new patient health check ... I passed.

44) When you talk with her, she maintains eye contact all the time. Well to do otherwise is RUDE!

45) Expectant mothers are forever visiting her. Also women who become expectant mothers a month after visiting her. OMG if any of my friends ends up pregnant they're going to blame me now!

46) You ask her for suggestions for nice walks in the area, and they all go by way of stone circles and strange earth mounds. Excellent idea! I do that in the Peak District!

47) She only buys organic. And you just bet that she's a vegetarian as well. (Well, maybe not stricly vegetarian....) I grew up in Texas. I can't give up beef. It's sacrilege!

48) When you ask her about her vacation plans, she tells you she will be camping in a tee-pee in the Brecon Beacons. I want to go to Australia! Or to any European Grand Prix ...

49) There aren't any mirrors in her house. Or clocks. Like Malorie would let me live in a house with no mirrors! And I need clocks or I'll be late for work on my first day Monday!

50) She tells you that she is coming out of the broom closet, joins Witches' Voice, and erects a stained-glass pentacle window in her front door . I want one of those in my front door!

Another Brit in F1 Next Year!

2006-11-25T13:52:00.000Z

I saw Lewis Hamilton compete in the British Grand Prix this year in the GP2 race. This guy is good! He overtook for the lead of the race right in front of me, and at one point was alongside two other cars, three abreast. I'm glad to see he's signed with McLaren because Ron Dennis tends to favour drivers, and I have a feeling it won't be Alonso who gets the special treatment since Lewis has come up through McLaren's Young Driver's programme. I'm not much of an Alonso supporter ...

Lewis: I'll be ready for Oz
Friday, 24, November, 2006, 15:02

Lewis Hamilton says his focus over the winter will be on being as prepared as humanly possible for his Formula 1 debut at the Australian Grand Prix next March.

The 21-year-old Briton, who will become the first black driver to compete in F1 at Melbourne, is currently under-going one of the most comprehensive preparation programmes in the sport's history.

Hamilton is spending more than four hours a day in McLaren's gym, as well as receiving intensive training in mental focus, dealing with pressure and F1's rules and regulations.

"I'm not afraid of making mistakes, I understand how tough the challenge is," said Hamilton.

"But what I can do is make sure I prepare everything for the first races, but you have to make mistakes to learn to become a better driver."

Hamilton is also working with a trainer from the Finnish Olympic team who has devised a programme mental exercises to counter the pressures faced when racing for a top F1 team.

One of those pressures will be the inevitable comparisons that will be made to his double-world champion team-mate Fernando Alonso as the season unfolds.

But Hamilton already sees driving alongside the reigning title-holder as strength to his bow.

"It's a positive having such a strong team-mate," he said.

"I am not worried about it. He'll do what he does, which is drive really well, and I'll do the best I can and try eventually to compete with him"

..Hamilton says that he has yet to speak to Alonso about his appointment but revealed that while having dinner with his father during the Turkish Grand Prix weekend, the then-Renault star had come over and introduced himself to the Brit.

Hamilton described this as a "pleasant surprise" adding that he believed he would have a strong relationship with the Spaniard.

As for results, Lewis says he'll take them as they come.

"I've not thought about it," he said.

"We'll play it by ear. Every driver has a target to get to Formula 1, then the target is to win the championship at some point.

"I am going to learn as much as I can from Fernando and do the best job possible."

Despite his lack of top level experience, the GP2 Series champion reckons that not since pre-1993 has there been a better time for a rookie to enter Formula 1 with a top team.

The 2007 regulations will see Friday practice turn into three hours of unlimited running, allowing drivers the opportunity to gain experience of new cars and circuits.

Hamilton admits this was "a key factor" in stepping up to a race-seat now rather than doing a year's testing.

"I'm doing what I always wanted to do," he said.

"I was six when I first saw Ayrton Senna drive for McLaren and I knew I wanted to that."

http://www.itv-f1.com/News_Article.aspx?PO_ID=38001

What is Yule?

2006-11-25T01:45:00.000Z

By request (Gary), I found an explanation of what "Yule" is as part of the Wiccan calendar. Rather than reproduce the whole thing (and risk violating copyright laws), you can click here and read a basic outline. There is a lot more to it, but this gives a good idea of what I'll be celebrating this year!

Not a Bad Day ...

2006-11-24T17:18:00.000Z

My dial-up hell is over! AOL have finally reconnected my broadband at the new house, and now I only have to deal with a desktop computer badly in need of a reformatting. But in the meantime at least I don't have to live with a dial-up connection that disconnects me every five minutes. That made chatting on MSN rather difficult to say the least! So I'm back now!

I also have a working fridge as well as a freezer! The washing machine decided it didn't want to work after standing unused for eight months, but the fridge is fine. (I know, how boring am I, blogging about a fridge and a washer ...)

Malorie had her first ride on a train yesterday, and boy! is she a miserable traveller! On the trip up to Leeds she complained that she was worried the train would crash, she was bored and there were no cute boys on the train with us. I think she forgot all about that when we got there and had a great Thanksgiving dinner ... plus she had an internet connection she could sit on for hours! I haven't told her the broadband is working here at home though.

At least she was a fairly good traveller on the way home today. I introduced her to Starbucks at the station (we don't have one in Chesterfield, too much of a hick town I guess), where she immediately fixated on a double chocolate muffin that, after I bought it, she decided to give to Braden when we got home. He never got it though. She changed her mind as soon as he saw it. Still no cute boys on the train for her to look at, but she didn't complain about it as much!

David was an absolute doll in inviting us up for Thanksgiving. He didn't let me lift a finger, and he'd even bought my favourite drink! While Malorie was on the computer we watched three movies (plus two episodes of Red Dwarf), and it was the most chilled Thanksgiving I've ever had!

I have so got to get a cooker as soon as I can ... I owe David a couple of meals I promised to cook, and I didn't intend them to be microwave meals when I said I'd demonstrate my skills in the kitchen!

Help Me Get an iPod! LOL

2006-11-23T14:01:00.000Z

Well it's worth a try! David referred me so he can get a laptop. I'm trying for the iPod. I don't have a real one, just an MP3 player that looks like one ... So any help would be appreciated!

http://gifts.freepay.com/?r=34608551

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T13:43:00.000Z

I know that it's a typically American thing to say and that it would only apply to my friends in the US (unless any of you in other parts of the world are also celebrating), but I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving! It is one of the things I miss by living in England because I love my family and have wonderful memories of Thanksgiving dinners through the years. My earliest memories are of going to my great-grandmother's house in Dallas and her incredible stuffing! I wish I'd managed to get the recipe for that, it was my favourite part of the dinner. My sister Kim preferred the pumpkin pie. Then again, because her birthday is in November, whenever my mum asked her what kind of birthday cake she wanted, she would always say she wanted a pumpkin pie! (I always preferred angel food cake!)

I've cooked a couple of Thanksgiving dinners since I moved to England. My second mother-in-law's birthday fell on that Thursday one year, and she asked me to cook a traditional turkey dinner for her as her present. The past few years I haven't bothered, either because I've been working or at university, but today I'm having a real turkey dinner being prepared by David for Malorie and me! Next year I will have to return the favour since I should have an oven by then!

So I hope all of you who are celebrating Thanksgiving have a delicious meal and a stress free day!

And I just have to say it ... Go Cowboys!

Getting There ...

2006-11-18T11:46:00.000Z

A couple of weeks ago Malorie decided that she was going to move out and go stay with friends. They had her convinced that she was 17 and didn't have to follow any of my rules, so I couldn't tell her what to do. When I grounded her, they talked her into moving out and in with them. I knew it wouldn't last very long, and it didn't. Wednesday I started getting texts from her saying that she missed me, and Thursday I got a phone call asking to come pick her up.

I think she has recovered from her "ordeal" of living away from home. I don't think she had it too bad while she was there, but she admits that she just wasn't ready for it. She's emailed her dad and asked if she can go stay with him for a while. Braden's already supposed to be flying over there in a couple of weeks, but he says he'll be back the first week in January, so that's not too bad.

It'll be a strange Christmas season this year. Malorie and Braden will be away, Ricky and Jack will be with their dad (it's his year) and I won't be celebrating Christmas in the same way I have done in the past (for me it will be a Yule celebration rather than Christmas). I'm looking forward to it, actually. It'll be different, but different doesn't always have to be bad! For one thing it will be less stressful without having two teenagers demanding presents that I can't afford (I can always buy their presents before they come back from Texas but after the Christmas rush is over).

My new employment contract came in the post this week, and I realised that my first payday will be something like one or two days before Christmas! Now that's going to make things interesting ...

I basically handed in my notice at the pub last night. The landlady said they had a form come through for a reference - she said when she first saw the envelope and that it was from a solicitor's firm, she wondered who was suing them this time! - and the landlord told me that a good reference for me was a foregone conclusion. That was nice of him. He's a weird man, but basically I think he's okay. I've agreed to work next weekend and to see how it goes after that, but my employment contract says that I can't work another job without permission because of European law work-time directives. I understood that because it was a topic we covered in EU law in my second year at uni!

And, finally, the house is starting to look more and more like a home. Richard found a sofa for me (he's a dickhead but can be nice when he wants to be, and I had to call him a dickhead because he doesn't like it when I say nice things about him), and yesterday he and his mate Nick picked it up and brought it here, along with my washing machine from the old house (yay! clean clothes!). It was nice walking in from work last night and seeing a living room that doesn't look like a storage facility. All I need for now is a cheap rug, like the one for £10 I saw at IKEA on Thursday, to go in front of the sofa, and I'll be quite comfortable until I can get a new sofa and carpets!

I've taken some pics to post, but for the life of me I can't find the cable to plug my camera into the laptop, so it'll be a bit longer before I can post them! When I do finally get them onto the laptop, it's going to take a while to upload them. Because I've moved I've had to go back onto dial-up (sorry for swearing, that's such a nasty word!) while my broadband service is switched to this house. It's better than nothing but when you're used to a high speed connection ... damn is it slow!

I Got the Job!!!!!

2006-11-15T21:35:00.000Z

I had a phone call this afternoon offering me the job I interviewed for last week! I start a week on Monday, and I'm looking forward to getting away from the pub and into a full-time job that will hopefully lead to bigger and better things! I'm not bothered that it's only a low-paid entry level position. Money isn't everything, as long as I have a roof over my head and food on the table, I'm happy. Any extras will come along when the time is right.

Life is definitely looking up! New house, new job and fabulous man in my life ... I'm sure there will be more dips in the road ahead but I can deal with anything knowing that problems are only temporary!

New House, New Man ...

2006-11-11T20:23:00.000Z

Things are going really well at the moment! (Fingers crossed because every time I say that I end up jinxing myself ...) I've spent the past few days painting in my new house, and today I finished the kitchen! It looks incredible with the new cupboards and work tops, and now with freshly painted walls! Here's before and kind of during. After will be when I get everything moved in and the kitchen set up properly.

I haven't had to do it all myself either. Ricky and Jack helped me today by painting the first coat in the niche under the stairs.

And just proof that I'm the one doing the rest of the painting ... No comments on my ass, please!

I've started on the living room today but was so knackered from climbing on things, under things, around things to paint in the kitchen that after one wall I came home to rest my aching muscles!

As for the new love interest, he's an incredible man named David. I won't spill too much for now because, like I said, I tend to jinx things. We went to Witchfest together last weekend and had a wonderful time! I don't think we stopped talking the entire drive down to London and back! He's also come down from where he lives (about an hour's drive) to help me with things like sort my car out and pick out paint for the house. We've already had one trial with dealing with a "cyber stalker" on MySpace who tried to convince me that he wanted her instead of me, but the woman was obviously nuts! She started to target me on there, but now she's switched back to focusing on him. Instead of driving us apart though it's brought us closer together, and now we just laugh at the nerve of the woman! She seems to think she's the centre of the universe!

I also had a second interview with a company this week, and I should hear Monday if I've got the job. It's an entry level position with a legal company, but it's a start. It's regular hours, decent pay, and the kind of job where I can leave the headaches of work at my desk at 5 o'clock! With the little two monsters still so young, it's perfect!

North Garland HS Alum Killed in Iraq

2006-11-07T23:30:00.000Z

I remember Eric. I can't believe it.

By KARIN SHAW ANDERSON / The Dallas Morning News

A graduate of North Garland High School was killed in Baghdad when an improvised explosive device detonated near the military vehicle he was riding in, the Defense Department announced Monday.

It appears that Army Lt. Col. Eric Kruger had been in Baghdad only days before he was killed Thursday. Military officials said the 40-year-old's mission was training Iraqi civilians and police and working on reconstruction efforts in Baghdad.

Two other soldiers, Lt. Col. Paul J. Finken of Mason City, Iowa, and Staff Sgt. Joseph A. Gage of Modesto, Calif., were also killed in the explosion.

Col. Kruger's unit had been sent to replace the one that Col. Finken was leading, and the two were riding together in preparation for the transfer of duties when the bomb detonated.

Col. Kruger grew up in Garland and graduated from North Garland High in 1984. He earned bachelor's and master's degrees from Southern Methodist University before taking a commission in the Army in 1989.

His Army unit was based at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, Colo., and news reports have said he was the highest-ranking officer from Fort Carson to be killed in the war.

Col. Kruger was serving his third tour of duty in the Middle East. He had served in Bahrain in 1997 and 1998 and had been deployed to Afghanistan before his assignment in Iraq. He earned several honors, including the Bronze Star, Meritorious Service Awards and an Army Commendation medal. Army officials said it wasn't clear whether any of those awards were presented after his death.

Family members couldn't immediately be reached for comment.

Witchfest!

2006-11-05T01:16:00.000Z

Today I went to my first Witchfest, and I have to say it was probably the best day out I've had since Donna and I went to the British Grand Prix in June! Partly because of the experience of the whole gathering, but also because of the wonderful company I had.

It was only just over a week ago that I had my first opportunity to sit down face to face with another person in the Craft when David came down to meet me, and today it felt absolutely wonderful to be surrounded by hundreds of others! Okay, it was also very weird seeing so many grown women dressed as fairies ... but that's fine. To each their own. The one with the Spock ears was a bit much. Oops, sorry David. I forgot I'm not supposed to call them Spock ears!

One of the real highlights of the day was getting a book signed by Kate West. The first book on Witchcraft I read was written by her, and I think I have all but one of her books. I did have two missing from my collection, but today I bought "The Real Witches' Book of Spells and Rituals". She was very nice, and I'm pleased that I had a chance to meet her.

The stalls were great, and I ended up buying a pentagram ring and pendant, and a new chalice. It's only a little one ... but I thought it suits me quite well. Very simple. There were so many other things I could have bought, including a very witchy dress. That can wait for a while though. It was quite sexy though.

And I really have to thank David again for taking me down there, for being such wonderful company, and for helping me make coffee when we made it back to Chesterfield ...

Arrrrgh!

2006-10-31T13:54:00.000Z

No keys to my new house yet ... So this morning I decided to ring to see how long they think it might be before I get them. The (very rude) lady I spoke to said it's written on the job sheet that it will be next week. That's fine with me. At least it's the most confident I've heard them as to a time frame.

And yes, I'm disappointed that I had to cancel my trip to Texas when I didn't even get to move while I would have been away, but I just couldn't take the risk. But what point would there be of going all drama queen? It wouldn't change a thing and would only use up valuable energy. It's happened for a reason. I guess I was just supposed to stay in England for now!

I did have that job interview last Tuesday. I would have missed that if I'd gone on holiday. Not only that, but I have another job interview this Thursday. I would have missed having lunch with David last Thursday and sharing a bottle of wine with him on Friday, and I would have missed the strangest Halloween party I've ever been to ... But hey, I won a prize. Not for the best costume, but for being brave enough to fake an orgasm (a la "When Harry Met Sally"). I tried anyway, but ended up laughing my head off halfway through. The prize was interesting. A girl can never have too many sex toys, but I think I'll give the nipple clamps away!

Happy Samhain!

2006-10-31T01:31:00.000Z

What Friends Are For

2006-10-30T00:39:00.000Z

I have made some really good friends in the pub where I work. Most of them are in and out regularly, but there are a few who come in for a while, then get busy with their lives and don't have a chance to prop the bar up and drink beer. Yesterday one of my friends, who I haven't seen in at least a month, was there. Craig's a really nice and very funny Scottish guy who looks a bit like Jesus (minus the holes in the hands and feet), and we usually end up having discussions about music and movies. Because it had been so long since I'd seen him, when I left to go home after my shift ended, I gave him a big hug.

Today I found out that one of his best friends, who has cancer, isn't expected to live out the night, so I gave Craig another hug. This evening I got this text message: "I went to see Barry after I left you today. He's in that morphine-induced half-life between this world and the next. Your hug helped me be strong."

It's amazing how the smallest things you can do for a friend end up meaning so much. Never underestimate the power of your actions.

And Sometimes They Reappear ...

2006-10-28T12:58:00.000+01:00

Last night has to go down in the books as a very interesting evening! As soon as I walked into the pub the landlord Howard said, "Your gentleman friend is here". And sure enough, there was Dave, sitting the in the corner with his friend Paul playing cards. For the longest time he didn't even look in my direction, but when it came time for his round of drinks, he spoke to me. All I got was a short apology for the fact he hasn't rang me (it had been well over a week since the last time I'd heard from him) but he's had "a lot on". Yeah, so much that some common courtesy was too much trouble.

He wanted to know what I was doing after I finished work. I had plans. I was meeting someone to share a bottle of wine and a lovely evening, which I did have and loved every minute of. Even if I didn't have plans, did he think I was going to jump at the chance to see him after work when he couldn't even be bothered to let me know what the hell was going on?

For heaven's sake, I don't want constant phone calls and someone around me 24/7. Everyone needs their own time and their own space, so it suited me very well that he was working out of town Monday to Friday with a night back in Chesterfield sometime during the week. But to be shown a degree of respect ... That's all I ask for.

But it gets more interesting. After his friend left to go meet his girlfriend, Dave went to sit with Malorie. She had a text come through from one of her male friends calling her a bitch. I don't know why, but that's what these idiots she hangs around with do. It seems to be cool to send texts slagging each other off. She showed it to Dave though, and the next thing she knew, he was sending this boy a text back telling him to show Malorie some respect.

Nothing wrong with that. Dave's just a bit younger than I am so, like me, he doesn't see what's so funny about sending messages like that. But whereas I think the best approach is just to ignore them, he couldn't let it rest. For two hours it was flying text messages which escalated to phone calls. Oh my god ... I was not impressed whatsoever, by what the boy was saying to my daughter or by what Dave was saying to the boy! According to Malorie, he asked Dave "Well who are you?" and Dave's reply was, "I'm Malorie's mum's boyfriend".

Excuse me? I didn't know he was my boyfriend! I wish someone had told me!

I also had a missed call from Dave, but I'd left my mobile in my car overnight. At least I know he hadn't lost my number, but it was just too little too late. He's an absolutely lovely man, don't get me wrong, and I honestly like him. He has a generous nature and a kind heart. He's just too wrapped up in himself at the moment.

I'm not really callous, though I think it might sound like I am. I'm not bitter, I'm not feeling bitchy, and I'm not upset. I just don't like being treated as a convenience, and these twats I seem to be finding need to learn to treat women with more respect. One day they might grow up.

What's Up With Me?

2006-10-25T21:17:00.000+01:00

I posted this last night on my MySpace blog, and the guy I mention at the end, the one I had a wonderful time with Monday night, read it and went ballistic! He seems to think that I was having a go at him, even though there is nothing in this post that he and I didn't talk about and laugh over. He's even moved me down in the ranking on his MySpace friends list. But hey, that's life, and if he doesn't like me that's fine. I'm just myself.

-----------------------------------------------------------

This is by no means a complaining blog post. It's totally meant as observation. I'm not going to go change myself for anyone, and I'm making that clear from the start. But it seems to have happened yet again. For a couple of weeks I was seeing Dave, a bloke I met a while back at the pub. Really nice, down to earth guy. He asked me out for a meal, made a big deal of asking the pub landlady what my hours were so he didn't interfere with work, asked my daughter if it was okay for him to start seeing me, and introduced me to his own daughter. We had a lovely time, and he surprised me by coming into the pub last Wednesday night.

I haven't heard from him since. From hour-long phone calls every day to not a single word. As far as I can tell, I didn't say or do anything wrong, but I'm not going to sweat over it.

The same kind of thing happened a few weeks before. Adam had been begging me since July to go out for a drink with him. He's another very nice guy, very genuine and a good laugh. Finally I did go for a drink with him, and then he disappeared too. Well, in a fashion. Out of curiosity I sent him a text today asking how he is, and he did reply. At least I know he's still alive.

I totally understand if a bloke decides he doesn't want to see me or just wants to be friends. I'm a bit eccentric and slightly (okay a lot ...) insane. But for heaven's sake! It would be nice to be told that rather than be left wondering what the hell has happened!

Needless to say I'm a bit paranoid, but last night I had a wonderful time with a guy I've known for a few months now, and at least he's been in touch with me today! In the time I've known him, he hasn't disappeared, and we even had a joke about last night about where everyone has been disappearing to. Well, I don't have a patio, so they aren't under there ...

------------------------------------------------

And now he's disappeared too ...

Ick

2006-10-25T15:15:00.000+01:00

Oh it's just one of those days. The weather is crap, it's getting dark early and I have a nasty cold. I haven't heard anything about the keys to my house, though when I peeked through the window on Sunday it looked like all the cupboards were in the kitchen. The floors still needed tiling though

I'm also on pins and needles because I had my first job interview yesterday morning. I think it went really well, considering the cold and the sleepless night I had the night before. The man who interviewed me gave me a positive feeling when I left, but he still had two candidates to interview. I'm supposed to find out something tomorrow.

I need to get out tomorrow, cold or no cold, and get some bits for my Halloween costume. I've been invited to a party on Saturday night, and seeing as how I'm missing out on the party I was supposed to be going to in Texas and I'm only working until 8 that night, I figure why not? Don't ask me what the costume is, at the moment I'm not sure what the hell I'm going as. I've found a top I can make a costume around, and if it's half decent I might post some pictures this weekend.

Michelle is coming around for coffee this evening, and I'm looking forward to it so I can cry on her shoulder. I'm a miserable cow today, with puffy eyes and a red nose! It's a good thing I'm not working because I would probably scare the customers away!

Found Friends!

2006-10-12T03:56:00.000+01:00

This seems to be a time for finding and meeting up with old friends. I couldn't be happier! Last week was my godson Morgan's birthday so I had a message from his mum and my best friend Michelle. I hadn't seen her since February when I moved out of the house in Mastin Moor, and I hadn't heard from her since just before my surgery in July. She came up last Wednesday for a coffee and a gossip, and then again tonight, and it's been great! Just like old times!

I've also heard from a friend of mine from the David Couthard Supporter's Club. I made a few very good friends there - Sandra, Si, Thom, Nati, Pauline ... And I have been able to keep in touch with most of them (though I need to find Nati again!) But tonight I had a chance to chat to one who had been missing, another Simon, and I have to say that I really have missed him! I don't think we've spoken since the DCSC forum shut down about two years ago. What's important is that we're back in touch now, and I'm over the moon! He better stay in touch this time too!

I'm also planning a trip to Texas for later this year, and when I'm there I'll be meeting up with some of my friends from my high school days, including my very first boyfriend Don! I'll also get to meet some of the people I've been chatting to via my high school's forum but didn't really know when I was in school. I'm especially looking forward to hanging out with Chad, Caro and Sheila! Whoa,I don't think that Texas will be the same after the four of us are through!

News and Views

2006-10-11T23:37:00.000+01:00

I still haven't moved into my new house yet, but it shouldn't be much longer. It turns out that the kitchen that looked so nice through the window wasn't in very good shape, so the council had to rip it out. They're in the process of putting in all brand new cupboards, and the work seems to be going pretty quickly! I looked in one day, and the workers were ripping everything out, then the next day they were putting things in! I'm going to check again tomorrow when I'm in the neighbourhood and see if any of the new cupboards are in.

Malorie chatted with my former neighbour Lynn last week. Turns out that Lynn and Simon are now engaged, and they're trying for a baby. According to Lynn, she has ring picked out, but it costs £1000! Wow! The ring Simon bought me didn't even cost £100! I know because I found the receipt once! Funny thing is, a couple of days after Malorie spoke to Lynn, I had a letter from my solicitor to say that they've heard from Simon's solicitor. He wants money. Approximately £1000. Now, seeing as how he kept practically everything of value when we split up, including the business, electronic gadgets, etc., I wonder why he needs £1000 all of sudden?

As for my love life ... Let's see. I was seeing a guy named Steve for a bit, but suddenly he decided that it "wasn't working" for him. I've also been out with a couple of other guys who flaked out. Like Adam. I saw him one night, then he disappeared for over a week, until I had a text from him at 4.30 this morning! I'm not looking for anyone because that just leads to stress and disappointment. But I'm not ruling out that there's someone out there who is the right "one!" I'm not going to settle for anyone. There's got to be something incredible there. That just didn't happen with Steve, that's for sure!

New House!

2006-09-28T18:09:00.000+01:00

I'm moving! My first house that's all mine! I haven't got the keys yet, so I couldn't get pictures of the inside today, but I did snap some of the outside and through the windows.

I Really Did It!

2006-09-21T01:13:00.000+01:00

I know I posted that I got my results earlier, but it's just now sinking in really. I got a 2:1! Oh my god! I got a 2:1!

That might not sound amazing to everyone, but if you only knew just how lucky I am to get that! The first half of this last year was going almost perfectly. My dissertation research was well underway, and I had everything scheduled so that I would have each chapter finished and read by my dissertation supervisor well in advance of the due date. I got a first on my victimology presentation. I got a 68 on my equity and trusts coursework.

Then, in February, everything fell apart. I knew things weren't going well between me and Simon, but I had hoped to make it through my exams in May before the big split happened. Instead, I had him kick off because I didn't jump him as soon as I walked through the door from my trip to Brussels with my university. I was tired. I'd gone almost 48 hours with only a couple of hours' sleep. The last thing on my mind when I got home was sex! So he sulked and pouted all weekend. That was also something not likely to get me into bed. And when I tried to talk to him, he refused to take any responsibility for working things out. He got pissed off and threw a glass across the room, almost hitting Ricky. Then, when I told him I had had enough and wanted him to leave, he tried to take an overdose of tablets. I called the police. They made him leave for the night, but that's all they could do. When I went to uni the next morning, I never went back for anything other than to get my stuff. What stuff he would let me have anyway.

So I've been through a relationship break up and becoming homeless this year. Then, in early March, I started seeing Rich. Talk about a total mind fuck! One minute he was with me, the next he was running back to his ex-girlfriend. And I let him do it because I thought I loved him. I thought I was in control of myself, but now, looking back, I know I was an emotional wreck. He played on that and used it, but I let him.

In mid-March I was admitted to hospital for almost a week because my gall bladder became infected. Evidently when I was waiting to be seen in the emergency room, I told Donna I wanted to die, the pain was that bad. I tried to get back to lectures and seminars as soon as I could once I was discharged, but I was way behind.

I did my best through April and into May, but I had to scramble to write my dissertation and papers for victimology and criminal justice policy. My law exams went a bit better, though I missed taking my equity and trusts exam.

Surgery in July. From May until the beginning of August, I got myself tangled up in a relationship with a married man who I thought would be moving up here to be with me because he loved me, and instead it turns out that I'm probably just one in a long line of women he's messed with just for the hell of it. He's on my friends' list on MySpace, but since he hasn't logged in since June I don't think he's using it as a venue for meeting more idiots like me.

After that, I seemed to pull myself together like I never did before. I passed that equity exam when I took it, thank goodness! And I did it on my own with no help from anyone else. I didn't lean on anyone, I just got on with the work.

So maybe it seems like I could have done better than a 2:1, and I probably could have. Under the circumstances, I'm damn proud of myself. I didn't buckle under the worst pressure I've probably been under in my life. I didn't quit. I did it, and no one can ever take this accomplishment away from me.

I Got My Results ...

2006-09-20T16:58:00.000+01:00

I stayed at my boyfriend's house last night (that still sounds so strange to me ... "my boyfriend"! I haven't had one of those in years!), and when I got home this morning my results from university were waiting for me. I almost couldn't open the envelope, and when I did, it was a couple of minutes before I could open my eyes and look!

But I passed my equity and trusts exam last month, and I ended up with the 2:1 overall that I had been hoping for! You can imagine the total relief I felt! I found out about a job going with the Derbyshire police that I would love to have, but I hesitated applying because I was worried that I might have failed that last exam. Now I can apply for it, and it's not a minute too soon because the closing date is this Friday!

News Article

2006-09-14T15:11:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Carolyn for this.

Wiccan sign allowed on soldier's plaque
By SCOTT SONNER, Associated Press Writer
Thu Sep 14, 12:06 AM ET

The widow of a soldier killed in Afghanistan won state approval Wednesday to place a Wiccan religious symbol on his memorial plaque, something the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs had refused.

"I'm honored and ecstatic. I've been waiting a year for this," Roberta Stewart said from her home in Fernley, about 30 miles east of Reno.

Sgt. Patrick Stewart, 34, was killed in Afghanistan last September when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his helicopter. Four others also died. Stewart was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart.

He was a follower of the Wiccan religion, which the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs does not recognize and therefore prohibits on veterans' headstones in national cemeteries.

But state officials said they had received a legal opinion from the Nevada attorney general's office that concluded federal officials have no authority over state veterans' cemeteries. They now plan to have a contractor construct a plaque with the Wiccan pentacle — a circle around a five-pointed star — to be added to the Veterans' Memorial Wall in Fernley.

"The VA still has not determined yet if a Wiccan symbol can go on the headstone," said Tim Tetz, executive director of the Nevada Office of Veterans Services. "But we have determined we control the state cemetery and that we therefore have the ability to recognize him for his service to his country."

Wiccans worship the earth and believe they must give to the community. Some consider themselves good witches, pagans or neo-pagans.

The Veterans Affairs' National Cemetery Administration allows only approved emblems of religious beliefs on government headstones. Over the years, it has approved more than 30, including symbols for the Tenrikyo Church, United Moravian Church and Sikhs. There is also an emblem for atheists.

From the Associated Press

Well You Never Know ...

2006-09-10T16:14:00.000+01:00

As usual in my life, nothing can be simple. I've hardly seen Kieran (the 21 year old) this week, and I don't know what's up, so I'm assuming that we're still just good friends. That's okay with me. I don't have to have a man in my life to feel like I'm worthy. I'll just keep enjoying my life as it is. One thing's for sure: if I'm happily single, I won't get my heart broken again!

Another interesting fact to spring up today has nothing to do with my personal life. It has nothing to do with me at all, in fact. Michael Schumacher has announced that he's retiring at the end of this season. I knew it would happen eventually, but he's been in Formula One as long as I've been following it religiously, so it will be weird not to see him in that Ferrari! Instead it will be Kimi Raikkonen in the red car.

I was supposed to work last night but have pulled something in my back. I probably shouldn't work tonight, but I hate letting people down, including the pub landlord. He gave me a chance when I've never worked behind a bar before, and he and his wife have been good to me!

Unbelievable ...

2006-09-05T19:21:00.000+01:00

I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but things seem to have been almost surreal lately. I've still been enjoying working at the pub, which is probably obvious from the pictures I posted of Elvis night. Because of the job there, I seem to have become quite popular with some of the guys!

First there was a very cute pub landlord! We went out once and had a lovely time, and he's been in to the pub where I work a few times since then. There was another guy who is a regular, John. We've been out a couple of times, and he's eager to see me again very soon. There was a third guy, but he has a girlfriend, and after my experience a couple of months ago with a married man, I think I'll steer clear of him from now on.

But now I'm sort of seeing one of the most incredible men I've ever met. He's gorgeous, sweet, thoughtful, funny ... and my kids love him to bits! The surreal part is that he's a bit younger than me. Okay, quite a bit younger than me. He's 21. It's weird, but so far it's been wonderful! So if you don't see me blogging much, you know I'm keeping myself pleasantly occupied!

"Crocodile Hunter" Killed by Stingray

2006-09-04T14:52:00.000+01:00

I'm honestly devastated by this news. He was insane, but I really did like the guy!

Updated: 1 hour, 9 minutes ago
CAIRNS, Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the Crocodile Hunter, was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called Oceans Deadliest when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous bard on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

He came on top of the stingray and the stingrays barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart, said Stainton, who was on board Irwins boat at the time.

Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said.

Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword Crikey! in his television program Crocodile Hunter. First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international celebrity.

He rode his image into a feature film, 2002s The Crocodile Hunters: Collision Course and developed the wildlife park that his parents opened, Australia Zoo, into a major tourist attraction.

The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet, Stainton told reporters in Cairns. He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, Crocs Rule!

'A huge loss to Australia'
Prime Minister John Howard, who hand-picked Irwin to attend a gala barbecue to honor President Bush when he visited in 2003, said he was shocked and distressed at Steve Irwins sudden, untimely and freakish death.

Its a huge loss to Australia, Howard told reporters. He was a wonderful character. He was a passionate environmentalist. He brought joy and entertainment and excitement to millions of people.

Irwin, who made a trademark of hovering dangerously close to untethered crocodiles and leaping on their backs, spoke in rapid-fire bursts with a thick Australian accent and was almost never seen without his uniform of khaki shorts and shirt and heavy boots.

His ebullience was infectious and Australian officials sought him out for photo opportunities and to promote Australia internationally.

Irwins public image was dented, however, in 2004 when he caused an uproar by holding his infant son in one arm while feeding large crocodiles inside a zoo pen. Irwin claimed at the time there was no danger to the child, and authorities declined to charge Irwin with violating safety regulations.

Later that year, he was accused of getting too close to penguins, a seal and humpback whales in Antarctica while making a documentary. Irwin denied any wrongdoing, and an Australian Environment Department investigation recommended no action be taken against him.

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

'Extraordinarily bad luck'
Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

It was extraordinarily bad luck. Its not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare, Collin said.

News of Irwins death spread quickly, and tributes flowed from all quarters of society.

At Australia Zoo at Beerwah, south Queensland, floral tributes were dropped at the entrance, where a huge fake crocodile gapes. Drivers honked their horns as they passed.

Steve, from all Gods creatures, thank you. Rest in peace, was written on a card with a bouquet of native flowers.

Were all very shocked. I dont know what the zoo will do without him. Hes done so much for us, the environment and its a big loss, said Paula Kelly, a local resident and volunteer at the zoo, after dropping off a wreath at the gate.

Stainton said Irwins American-born wife Terri, from Eugene, Ore., had been informed of his death, and had told their daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob, who will turn 3 in December.

The couple met when she went on vacation in Australia in 1991 and visited Irwins Australia Zoo; they were married six months later. Sometimes referred to as the Crocodile Huntress, she costarred on her husbands television show and in his 2002 movie.

© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Elvis Night at the Pub

2006-09-02T19:10:00.000+01:00

Elvis Night at the Pub
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

The pub where I work had an "Elvis Night" to raise money for Ashgate Hospice here in Chesterfield. It was a big hit, and Jane was a bit tickled by the Elvis impersonator serenading her!

Elvis Night at the Pub

2006-09-02T19:09:00.000+01:00

Elvis Night at the Pub
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

My mate Gaz! I love this dude!

Elvis Night at the Pub

2006-09-02T19:08:00.000+01:00

Elvis Night at the Pub
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

Michael is really a hippie at heart, so he decided to skip the Elvis look. For some reason he couldn't resist trying on a blond wig after he'd had more than a few too many ... Definitely a night to remember!

Elvis Night at the Pub

2006-09-02T19:07:00.000+01:00

Elvis Night at the Pub
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

My boss Howard, the pub landlord, who didn't intend to dress as Elvis but couldn't resist the wig and glasses after he had a few bottles of Magners.

Elvis Night at the Pub

2006-09-02T19:03:00.000+01:00

Elvis Night at the Pub
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

My drunken friend Nico, who is really very cute when he hasn't had way too much beer and isn't wearing a black Elvis wig!

Me as Bridget Jones

2006-08-17T08:35:00.000+01:00

I've been having a long talk with myself. At 39 years old, I've never spent any time as a "singleton". I got married the first time when I was 19, so I have pretty much spent 20 years in either a marriage that eventually failed or a very short-lived relationship. I've decided that before I can ever have a successful long-term relationship, I've got to find out who I am. I've got to learn to make myself happy before I can make anyone else happy. And I've got to know what it's like to live on my own. My lovely kids excepted, of course.

People keep telling me that I need to find a nice bloke. Sure, that would be great, but I know now that it's not the end of the world if I don't. Mr Right might be out there, and he might not. I'm not going to panic over it. If I do that, I'll end up finding another idiot like the ones I've come across so far this year. With one exception and he was absolutely lovely, but I'm not sure if we'll see each other again except as friends. And I'm cool with that!

So, I don't think I'll buy any big knickers, and I don't think I'll sit home alone singing "All By Myself". I definitely don't have to worry about my biological clock ticking, but lets see how I do as Bridget Jones. The 30-something (for the next six months anyway) singleton.

Surgery Success

2006-07-23T00:53:00.000+01:00

I'm pleased to report that my gall bladder surgery on Thursday went very smoothly. I was the first into theatre that morning, and it went off with no complications, so I was home yesterday afternoon. I have Frankenstein looking stitches on four places on my abdomen, but hopefully they'll fade to little white lines before too long.

I actually feel pretty good now. I'm sore, and the one incision that had a drain sticking out of it for 24 hours is very tender. When the nurse took the drain out, she had warned me to take a few deep breaths, but I didn't know it was going to feel like she was ripping my lung out!

A few more days of recovery, and I'm going to start making plans for finding a job and a house. Time to get on with my life!

It's Bloody Hot!

2006-07-19T15:27:00.000+01:00

Such much for not missing Texas summers! The past few days have been so hot it feels almost as bad as July in Dallas. Almost. At least we have a bit of a breeze. I'm feeling very hot and bothered, compounded by nervousness about tomorrow's surgery and not smoking, also because of tomorrow's surgery. I can imagine I'm going to be useless at work tonight!

Two Days Away!

2006-07-18T17:02:00.000+01:00

I've almost finished my packing to go into hospital. I figured I might as well do it today instead of leaving it until the last minute, especially since I'll be working late tomorrow night at the pub. I've packed my MP3 player, which is full of good music and songs that mean something to me, a book for if I feel up to reading, and pictures of special people, one person in particular who won't be able to come visit me.

I'm nervous, but I'm really looking forward to this! It seems like the gall stones have pretty much controlled my life for almost a year. I missed Kate's hen night because of them. I almost blew the last few months of my last year at university as well. After a bit of recovery time, I can take control of my life. And I have plans! Big plans! I'm going to live my life to the full. You only live once, and I want to enjoy the rest of mine!

Six Days to Go!

2006-07-14T11:18:00.000+01:00

The nerves are setting in ... I still can't wait for my surgery, but I'm starting to get nervous. The guy I've been seeing says that he won't be able to think straight until he knows that I'm out of the operating theatre and that everything is well. He has to work so won't be at the hospital, but that's okay because I don't like the idea of people sitting around waiting for me to come back to the ward. I'd rather they tried to have as normal a day as possible.

As soon as I get out of hospital, I'm going to start looking for a job! I'm really enjoying working at the pub, but it's only temporary and part-time. I work 14 hours a week at the most. I'd really love to find something where I can use my degree. That was the whole point of me going back to university to start with! And I'm going to look outside Chesterfield as well. Not that I don't love Chesterfield, but I'm considering moving closer to the boyfriend. Well, why not? I'm still young(ish), and there's lots of England I haven't seen!

More Good News!

2006-07-12T15:11:00.000+01:00

I was having a very good day, and now it's turning into an excellent day! Rich rang earlier and said he was in the pub celebrating results, so I headed off to join him for an hour. On the way there, my mobile rang, and it was the hospital. They've set the date for my surgery, and it's only 8 days away!

Finally I can stop having the pain, and I can stop needing pain killers to dope me up. The news ones I'm on only make me sick anyway.

Ricky has had his school report, and it's excellent! I'm very proud of him!

Now it just seems like there's bound to be bad news ... Then again, maybe my karma is finally balancing out! After a rough year, things are starting to improve!

Trip to Holland!

2006-07-12T11:49:00.000+01:00

Sorry that this is so late in coming, but I've just been so chilled from my weekend in the Netherlands with Diana, Martin and Kate that I haven't blogged until today! What a wonderful weekend! We went to Madurodam in the Hague, which has models of all the famous sights in the Netherlands and definitely worth a visit! Kate and I had a wander around Leiden, which is a beautiful city outside Amsterdam. Saturday night we met Martin and Diana's friends Jan and Joost (I hope I spelled that right! Diana will tell me if I haven't!), who are great! Okay, they're Michael Schumacher fans, but I won't hold that against them! Diana's sister is lovely as well!

Best of all was spending Sunday afternoon on a lazy trip around canals on their boat "Cobber"! Who needs speedboats? I'd rather have a slow journey around any day!

I can't wait until Diana and Martin come over in September for karting with the Mark Webber Supporters Club!

University Results!

2006-07-12T11:19:00.000+01:00

After three years of studying, my results came out today! I was very worried because, while the first semester of this year was going very well, everything after February was shit. The split with Simon, the stay in hospital, all the stress ... I had lowered my expectations from graduating with a 2:1 to graduating with a 2:2.

But I got the 2:1! My lowest result was on my dissertation, but considering that my head was totally messed up while I was writing it, I'll settle for that quite happily! I still have to take my equity and trusts exam because I missed it in May due to the gall stones, but I got a 68 on the coursework, so as long as I don't totally blow it, I should be fine there as well.

My results were good enough that they should impress a prospective employer, or, if I do what I really want to do and get a masters degree, get me into graduate school with no problem. I'm over the moon!

Gary and Sara!

2006-07-06T15:25:00.000+01:00

Gary and Sara were here Tueday night! They are absolutely lovely people! Yesterday we went to Chatsworth House and to a pub nearby, The Highwayman, because when Gary lived in England many years ago (I won't say how many) kids weren't allowed in pubs until they were 17, and he moved away shortly before he reached that milestone. We made up for it yesterday, though it's the first time I've been in an English pub and had the television tuned to afternoon cartoons!

Here's a couple of pictures. I will post some of Chatsworth when I get back from the Netherlands on Sunday or after I manage to recover from what I hope is going to be a fun weekend!

Another List

2006-07-06T15:05:00.000+01:00

Maybe becoming single this year has inspired me. Along with my list of goals for 2006 and the list of 25 things I want to do in my lifetime, I have another list that now appears in my sidebar. I won't go into graphic detail for fear of scaring off anyone who comes across my blog!

I also have someone who is helping me with the list. Adding to it, I mean, although he has offered to help me cross the items off as well, and I've said I can't think of anyone I would like to help me with it more!

Subtle as a Sledgehammer

2006-07-06T01:58:00.000+01:00

I have a young admirer. Casper from the pub has followed me around like a love-sick puppy all evening. He was sitting at the table when I was telling Vicky, Baz and Bob about the guy I've sort of started seeing. I showed Casper his picture. No use, he still did the puppy act.

I was on the phone three times to the guy I really really like. No use, Casper didn't seem to care. I've never been one to stomp on someone's feelings, but I think in this case I'm going to have to stop being so damn nice and just tell him that I'm not going to sleep with him! That's because when I got home, I started getting text messages asking if I wanted to come around to his house tonight. I said no thank you. So he said how about tomorrow. I'm off to the Netherlands on Friday morning, fortunately! The latest text says that he wants to see what I'm like when I wake up in the morning. My response to that was: "My kids say I'm a total bitch". Even that hasn't put him off, so I started ignoring his texts. I've tried to be nice because he's a regular in the pub where I work, and the last thing I need is to be accused of running the punters off!

I have to admit, he's very cute, but at 25 he's just a bit on the young side for me. I have no problem with age differences. The guy I'm sort of seeing (one day I'll be able to explain why I say "sort of seeing", it's a bit complicated at the moment while I work out what's exactly going on; he seems too good to be true, and I've had a bad year of being dumped so I don't want to jinx things by saying too much) is younger than me. But he's not closer to my daughter's age than he is to mine! I think that's the main thing with me. Not that there's an age difference, but that he's someone that my daughter would fancy! And I've told the guy I do really fancy about Casper. He's annoyed, mostly that Casper won't leave me alone rather than anything that I've done. Hopefully the two of them will never meet!

I have so got to get out of Chesterfield ...

Friends Etc.

2006-07-01T13:34:00.000+01:00

I've been offered a job at the pub, and today's my first day! I've lent a hand a couple of times over the past couple of weeks, mainly so I could see if I was capable of working behind a bar. I must have done pretty well! They're giving me a permanent part-time job. It's just what I need while waiting for surgery because I don't think I could hold down anything full-time right now.

I'm considering a move after the surgery. My options are pretty much open. I don't have any family in this country apart from my kids, so I'm going to see what jobs are available somewhere else. I think I need to get out of Chesterfield. I have had nothing but bad luck since I've been here. Okay, not all bad luck, but I think that this is the time, while I'm still young enough to do it, to make a fresh start somewhere else. Malorie is hoping I will start looking down south so she can be close to her boyfriend. Hey, I'm willing to give it a try! I don't really have anything to lose. I have no house, seeing as how this is only temporary accommodation, and I have to be out of her by next March anyway. I can definitely say my luck with men in Chesterfield has been rotten! (No offence to my ex-husband Richard if he reads this!) But two of my ex-husbands are from Chesterfield, Rich is from Chesterfield, and the only other guy I've had a relationship with was from Chesterfield. He dumped me after three months.

I do have some friends down south, so it seems a good place to look. At least I know people there. And because Ricky and Jack will stay here, and I'd come up (or down if I were to find the perfect job opportunity somewhere north) for my weekends, I won't lose touch with my friends here either.

Last night one of my friends, Thom, called in for a coffee. We've known each other about three years now, mostly online. We did come face to face at the British Grand Prix in 2004, but I was too shy to say anything, and I think he had spent a lot of time in the beer tent, so he never even noticed me! His ex-wife lives not too far from me, and he brought his kids down from Scotland yesterday, so he called in for an hour or so. He's a great guy and a good laugh, and he's always been a good friend. He always will be, I hope!

I have two other friends coming this week! I don't think I've ever had so much company in since I've been in this house! Gary, who I've also known about three years online, is flying to Portugal to see his girlfriend Sara, and the two of them are coming to England on Tuesday. I'm going down to Stanstead Airport to meet them, and they're going to stay with me for a night or two (I don't remember exactly what their plans are!) I'm looking forward to getting to know Sara, and Gary has always been there when I needed someone to talk to, especially over the last few months.

And then next Friday I'm off to the Netherlands with Kate to see Diana! I haven't met Diana face to face yet either, but I know she's an absolutely lovely person. Kate has met her and said just that, but I already knew it from our chats.

Now I'm off to the pub to work during the England match. I like it there. Most of the customers are friends, too!

Mini World Cup

2006-06-21T13:55:00.000+01:00

Ricky and Jack played in their school fayre's "Mini World Cup" Saturday afternoon. Ricky played for Asia, and Jack played for Europe. I'm not sure why they wanted to participate because both of them were very hesitant to go anywhere near the ball!

The boys on the school field before the tournament

Jack playing for Europe

Ricky as goalkeeper for Asia

Europe v Asia

Jack having a ride on the fire engine

He wanted to shoot me with the water cannon!

2006 British Grand Prix!

2006-06-12T00:12:00.000+01:00

Wow, what a great day! The weather was perfect, even if the result wasn't!

I had planned to go for the whole weekend, but because I wasn't 100% sure my tickets were going to show up until they actually did, funds were low and my car had brake problems. Sorting those out used up what money I would have used to camp out at Silverstone. I gave my tickets to Friday practice and Saturday qualifying to a lovely friend of mine Debby, and she seemed to enjoy them. I'm happy that they weren't wasted! And she bought me a Williams F1 shirt and a Williams lanyard to thank me! I didn't have a Williams shirt, and this one is perfect!

I had also planned to take someone with me, but it turned out that he had to work. Donna went with me, and we had a really good day out! She had never been to a race before, and I think she's hooked now. When I picked her up, we found out we both had the same idea: to wear shorts and bikini tops! (We had shirts on over them to start though.) During the drivers parade, we got the Australian flag out, as well as the bikinis, but Mark never even looked our way. David Coulthard did though! We were standing next to someone with a big DC banner, and he managed to spot us!

The sad part was that Mark Webber was taken out in the first lap. We were sitting at the end of the pit lane exit between Copse and Maggots, and after the first lap, we saw the safety car come out. When the cars came around behind it, I looked to see who was missing -- and it was Mark! Seems that Scott Speed spun, knocked into Ralf Schumacher, and sent Ralf into Mark. Speed managed to keep himself in the race though. He might be American, but he's one of my least favourite drivers, and today didn't help his reputation with me!

We were also downwind of Jenson Button's engine fire. That wasn't a pleasant smell, burning oil and electronic bits!

After the race we found Kate, Greg, Dave, Karen, and Swifty and had a good chat while waiting for traffic to die down. Silverstone has a bad reputation for traffic congestion, but we didn't have a problem getting into or out of the track. It was no worse than many of the hold-ups I've come across on the M1.

I've only put small pictures in this post, but clicking on them takes you to a bigger version.

Donna in the Toyota display with an F1 car

Felipe Massa and Michael Schumacher in the drivers' parade

Giancarlo Fisichella and Fernando Alonso

Nico Rosberg and Mark Webber (I was so excited and busy trying to attract his attention that I took the picture late!)

Donna enjoying the sun

Me with Mika Hakkinen's Mercedes DTM

Karen ... we said Mark is Australian, not Austrian! (The flag is actually to support Austrian driver Christian Klien.)

MWSC members: me, Karen, Swifty and Kate

Malorie the Cyberspace Addict!

2006-06-03T17:45:00.000+01:00

I've taken over the computer! Four kids and I have to fight them off with my Tae Kwon Do to have my turn!

Malorie has discovered MySpace (as I did a few months ago ... ), and she asked me to take a picture for her profile. This is my gorgeous daughter yesterday afternoon.

I'm Going to Silverstone!

2006-05-31T18:48:00.000+01:00

I was really worried that I was going to miss out on the British Grand Prix again this year. I sent a change of address to the booking office at Silverstone after I moved, but I hadn't heard anything from them, and since the GP weekend starts next Friday (with me going down Thursday for the MWSC party), I figured that they were going to go to my old address.

But they arrived today! I'm over the moon! And I have someone wonderful who says he wants to go with me. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Over the Moon!

2006-05-27T01:45:00.000+01:00

I don't want to say too much in case I jinx things (and seeing as how it's me, that's a distinct possibility!), but I've met someone who has made me really laugh and feel good about myself.

I've had a couple of text messages tonight that have sent my heart racing! One saying that he misses me, and the other saying "I hope so" in reply to me saying I missed him too! I said I definitely miss him and haven't stopped thinking about him all day.

He told me earlier today that I make him feel like he's 16 again, and Malorie says that I'm acting like her, so I guess that means I feel like I'm 17!

I must be insane ... But I'm happily insane, so I don't care!

How "Cool" Is This Car?

2006-05-26T01:35:00.000+01:00

Stuff

2006-05-24T15:00:00.000+01:00

Life seems to be setting down into something that resembles normality! Well, normal for me anyway, which is probably total insanity to someone else! I'm not ready to get started revising for my equity and trusts exam in August just yet, though it means my brain is screaming for something to occupy it. I've been reading a book about the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, and I spend a lot of time online, mostly playing Sudoku! It's addictive. I need to remember to pack a few Sudoku books when I go into hospital, whenever that is.

I've been having some lovely chats with a friend online that have really picked up my spirits. A couple of phone calls have put a smile on my face as well! It's nice to have someone to share things with, and suddenly I feel better about myself than I have in years! Okay, probably better than I ever have.

I'm Still Around Here Somewhere ...

2006-05-20T02:48:00.000+01:00

I'm glad this week is over! It's been hell. If it weren't for Rich keeping me on track and making me laugh, I'd have gone insane. Or insaner. Okay, probably no such word.

I didn't take my equity and trusts exam. I'm going to have to take it during resits in August. The pressure just got too much for me, and hopefully my medical certificate from my doctor will cover me. If not, I'm screwed, but I don't care.

I'm back at hospital Monday, but I had a letter from the consultant telling me that my last liver function test still came back high, so I should have an appointment for an MRI coming through soon. I'm hoping they don't find anything and can go through with the gall bladder surgery.

As far as anything else goes, the guy in the pub who asked me out has un-asked me out. I'm not really bothered, to tell the truth. I was a bit pissed off because he seemed to make a big deal about having Vicky give me his mobile number, then asking me for a drink, and then seemed to have second thoughts. Well, considering it's me we're talking about, it's par for the course.

Saturday Stress

2006-05-13T14:00:00.000+01:00

Okay, it's not all that bad. I'm only a couple hundred words away from finishing my dissertation! (Can you hear me cheering?) I got up early and went to work on it until Rich picked me up to go fetch my new bed from Sheffield. That's one piece of furniture I'll have in my new house ... if the council ever gets around to giving me one!

I'm going to finish off this last bit of the dissertation and then go chill out in the pub with Vicky and Baz for a bit. They're going in to watch a bit of football since Baz is a Liverpool supporter. Well, someone has to be I suppose! Then I'll be back home to work on revision for my equity and trusts exam on Monday.

Weight Loss

2006-05-13T01:11:00.000+01:00

The stress of finishing my last weeks of my last year at university has taken its toll on my weight. I weighed tonight, and I'm down to nine stone four pounds! That's three below my original goal weight of nine stone seven pounds that I set when I first started going to Weight Watchers last July!

I've even borrowed a pair of Malorie's jeans, and I've had to put a belt on to keep them up!

Work in Progress

2006-05-12T15:27:00.000+01:00

My dissertation is half finished. (The cup is always half full ...) I'm stuck now starting my results chapter, which is the most important part! It doesn't help that my mind is on other things. I should have shut myself away in a locked room and had the kids shove food through for me for the past month because, with no men around, I would have finished it by now!

Sunburnt!

2006-05-11T17:26:00.000+01:00

One exam down, two to go! I've made significant progress on my dissertation as well. One advantage to having a laptop is being able to take it outside! I was going to go to Sheffield to the university library and study today, but not long after I set off, Rich phoned to tell me he was revising on his patio, and I was welcome to come join him. I took the laptop, turned around and headed over there. I've nearly finished two chapters with the rest of it in the works.

Tonight it's off to the pub again, not for drinking, but I'm on the pub team -- for dominos! I played my first match last night and lost, but it was a respectful showing since I lost 3-5. I also seem to have made a bit of a conquest with one of the lads in the pub. I chat to just about everyone in there, so I didn't think anything of the conversation I had with him at the time. He said something about getting a taxi to the pub where we're playing tonight, and I said I'd be glad to take anyone who needs a lift. We arranged to meet at our usual pub tonight at seven.

Later, I had a text from my friend Vicky telling me that the guy I'd been speaking to is looking forward to seeing me and asked her to give me his mobile number! Oh dear ... I have to say it still amazes me to find out that anyone is interested in me. Shows what my self-confidence is like, doesn't it?

Twelve Days to Go ...

2006-05-06T22:56:00.000+01:00

I managed to finish one assignment, my paper for victimology, so at least that's one thing down towards the end of uni! Only five more to go: three exams, one paper and my dissertation. My last exam is on the 18th, so there's only 12 days left of this stress!

Latest Stuff

2006-05-06T00:48:00.000+01:00

Nothing can ever be simple with me ... I went to hospital on Wednesday to discuss removing my gall bladder. The consultant had to repeat my liver function test because the last two came back high. If it's still high, I have to have an MRI to see if there's a stone blocking the main bile duct. If there isn't, they can take the gall bladder out. If there is, I have to have a camera shoved down my throat, into the small intestine, into the bile duct and then they'll yank the stone out. THEN I can have the surgery. I'll find out on the 22nd when I go back to the pre-assessment clinic.

With everything going on in my life, I've managed to get a two week extension on my dissertation and coursework, but that hasn't really helped much because I have an exam on Tuesday and another one the day everything is due! How come I'm not working on it right now? I spent all afternoon sitting in the sun at Rich's house studying administrative law, and my brain has faded in the heat. Well, it was either revise for that exam at home in my living room or sitting on a lovely patio in the sunshine. Despite the fact that Rich was there, there were no distractions, so I did get a lot done. If I'd stayed home, I would have ended up watching television or arguing with Malorie!

I'm mentally exhausted, but I'm also coping better than I was this time last week! My last exam is on the 18th, and I can't wait because after it's over, I can let my brain have a holiday even if the rest of me doesn't get one!

Nice Girls Don't Always Finish First

2006-04-23T00:06:00.000+01:00

I'm having my own private pity party today. Well, that's what we used to call it when I was a kid: a "pity party". That's where you sit there and feel totally sorry for yourself. I'm having that kind of day.

Why is it that the nicer you are, the worse you feel? I know I don't have a lot to offer except my personality, which I'm not feeling very confident of at the moment, but to some people, it's just not good enough. I'd probably get further by being a total bitch instead of the nice, soft, easygoing person I've turned out to be.

Whoever said you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar wasn't right when it comes to my life. I grew up believing that, when I should have been taught to treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen!

I'm sure I'll snap out of this low spell soon. Another quirk of my character.

A friend from my school days sent me this in response to my posting the same thing on MySpace. I hope it works on here as well:

-----------------Girls-------------------
------------are like apples-------------------
--------on trees. The best ones-----------
------are at the top of the tree.--------
----The boys don't want to reach------
---for the good ones because they ------
-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
Instead, they just get the rotten apples-
---from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
-something is wrong with them, when in
--reality, they're amazing. They just
---have to wait for the right boy to-------
----- come along, the one who's-----------
----------- brave enough to-----------------
-----------------climb all----------------------
----------------- the way---------------------
-----------------to the top--------------------
---------------- of the tree.------------------

What a Crowd!

2006-04-21T22:14:00.000+01:00

I've taken to spending Monday evenings at the pub for a quiz, but that's just an excuse. Who could not enjoy hanging out with a group like this?

Dale, Christian and Neil

Me and Vicky

Christian, who doesn't normally look like that, I promise!

Rich trying to play darts ...

Pics from Kate's Wedding!

2006-04-19T19:36:00.000+01:00

Kate and Sarah after the ceremony at Newstead Abbey

The F1 cars on the cake!

Me by the lake at the reception venue, Lakeside Tower

Kate and me

Sarah, Kate and me -- the Mark Webber Supporters Club!

Kate, Rich and me

Me and Rich

Kate's Getting Married Tomorrow!

2006-04-14T23:58:00.000+01:00

I've been looking to tomorrow for months! Kate is getting married in Nottinghamshire, and I'm going to the wedding and reception. I missed the hen night, unfortunately, because of my stupid gall bladder, but I'm determined that I'm not going to miss the wedding!

Kate and her maid of honour Sarah, who has flown all the way from Australia to be here, came by on Wednesday, and I'm amazed at how calm Kate is. She seemed more nervous about meeting Mark Webber than about marrying Greg! I'm sure that's a very good thing.

I didn't find a "date" to take with me -- too much of a hassle finding someone to take to a friend's wedding -- but my friend Rich said he would be happy to escort me to it. He's a lot of fun and we enjoy each other's company, so I'm sure we'll have a good time. Besides, I've seen him in his work uniform, I've seen him stripped down to his pants in an Irish pub ... now I get to see him in a suit!

I just wish Diana could have come over from the Netherlands for the wedding. Oh and her husband Martin, too, even if he is a Michael Schumacher fan! It would have been so great to have them over here!

Happy Monday?

2006-04-10T00:42:00.000+01:00

Hosted by Sparkle Tags

More Q&A

2006-04-09T14:26:00.000+01:00

Q: How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
A: None, fell asleep in the living room

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Light blue

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
A: Brush my teeth

Q: Whats the color of your bedroom walls?
A: Cream, but hopefully I will be moving soon, and I'm trying to decide what colour I want to do my bedroom in my new house!

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A: £10, which will soon be spent on gas for the house (I'm on a pay as you go meter)

Q: Whats your favorite sport?
A: Formula One, as if no one knew that!

Q: I cant wait till..?
A: My student loan comes, but before then it's Kate's wedding!

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: September 2002 when my parents came over for my last wedding (and by last I mean last wedding)

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
A: Chicken Dippers wrapped in a tortilla, one of my own weird creations

Q: Look to your left. Whats there?
A: My pillow, I slept down here last night cuz I have a cold and can't breathe

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: My daughter's trainers because I can't find mine

Q: What websites do you visit the most?
A: MySpace, ITV F1, my blog

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: No, had to leave them behind when I fled my old house, but I will replace them after I move in a few weeks

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: My throat, which makes a nice change from my gall bladder hurting so I can't complain much

Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
A: Chesterfield, if you count that as a city. Otherwise it would be Brussels.

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: Yes but it's old and crappy

Q: Whats your favorite starbucks drink?
A: Only ever been once and don't remember what I had, probably a mocha something

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: All weekend, a close friend doesn't seem to be speaking to me
Edit: I'm feeling much better ... just had a phone call ... I was being paranoid again, but that's nothing new

Q: Would you have a problem if your friend went after your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
A: Depends on what friend and what ex but I can't say it would bother me very much

Last..
1. Person you saw: Jack, because he's sitting next to me
2. Hugged: Jack
3. Place you shopped: ASDA
4. Song you listened to: When Love and Death Embrace - HIM

Today..
1. What are you doing now: Answering Questions
2. What are you doing tonight: Homework, can't afford to go to the pub
3. What are you going to eat for lunch: Not hungry

Tomorrow..
1. Is: going to be boring though I might go to pub quiz
2. Got any plans: More homework because I'm WAY behind on my dissertation and want to have it finished by the end of the week
3. Goal: I don't want to cry anymore but have a feeling I will, lots of stress
4. Dislikes: Peas, but what's that got to do with tomorrow? I've always hated peas
5. Do you have to work: No and lectures are finished at uni

Currently..
1. Currently love someone: Yes very much so, my kids are everything to me and I love my friends and family
2. Like someone: There are not many people I don't like, which you can probably tell seeing as how I'm friends with one of my ex-husbands!
3. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Nope to both
4. Does someone like you?: Original answer was I hope so, but I stand corrected as Gary says of course people like me ...
5. Missing someone: Desperately, my family in Texas and my friend who has stopped speaking to me over the weekend.
Edit: See other edit above about me being paranoid.

My Reputation Continues to Fall ...

2006-04-06T01:38:00.000+01:00

I discovered yesterday that my reputation for being a whore seems to be following me around. I ran into Dennis, my former criminal law tutor and the person responsible for me going to Europe in February, on campus yesterday. It was the first time I'd spoken to him since we returned from the trip.

First, he couldn't get over how much weight I've lost. He was one of the few people who noticed I'd lost any weight at all back in October when classes first started. I said it was partly due to being in hospital recently, but also due to the fact that I'm now single.

He replied, "Yes, I heard that you left your husband because you slept with Trucker in Brussels". (Trucker is his nickname for Rich since he's a lorry driver.)

Unfortunately, with Dennis, if you don't have a snappy reply instantly, you'll never convince him of the truth, so after I hesitated he just grinned and asked if I'm still seeing him. I gathered my wits together enough to tell him that Rich has been a wonderful friend to me lately. I don't think Dennis believed me, especially when I walked over to a table with my coffee in time for Rich to show up and ask me if I was ready to leave! We've been sharing driving duties since we live fairly close to each other.

Oh well. Rich thought it was funny anyway.

I'm an Ideal Lover

2006-04-05T22:21:00.000+01:00

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.

And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.

You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.

It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Definition of Love

2006-04-01T00:57:00.000+01:00

It's amazing what you think of when you spend a lot of time in your own company! I happen to like myself, but I do come up with some odd-ball stuff when I'm alone! Last night when my mate Rich was under the influence of quite a bit of beer and wine, he got on his soapbox about how people don't know what love is, and on telly tonight I heard someone say pretty much the same thing, so now that it's me who has had a drink (or two …) I've come up with my own definition, and you can either laugh at it or disagree with it or just tell me to shut the fuck up, but I think it's a pretty good one.

To me there are lots of different kinds of love but all of them have the same ingredients no matter if it's love for your child, your parents, your significant other, a friend or someone who doesn't even know you love them but admire from afar.

First there's the fact that you know you're going to have times when you argue and fall out, but it doesn't matter because you know that you still love them regardless and soon forget what the argument was about.

Second is that you are happy when you're with them and feel something missing when you're apart, but you just look forward to the next time you're together rather than dwell on the fact you aren't together at that particular time.

Third is making sacrifices for the person you love, whether it's your material possessions, your time or your energy. I would give the shirt off my back for someone I love, but I would also give my life for them if that would save theirs. Love is also sacrificing your own happiness because it's more important for the person you love to be happy than to be happy yourself.

Fourth is knowing that sometimes the person you love is going to make mistakes, but you love them regardless and are still there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong without judging them.

And fifth it's loving someone for who they are now and not who you think they might be if you worked to change them.

Now don't go telling anyone how soppy I am … Sthe words coming out of my mouth don't make sense to anyone but me (must be the accent), but if I put them into written words they have half a chance of sounding reasonably sane.

What a Week ...

2006-03-24T15:39:00.000Z

Sorry I've been away for a bit ... Last Thursday night I went to a classmate's 21st birthday party in Sheffield, and when it was time for us to go clubbing, I started feeling unwell, so I tried to drive myself home to Chesterfield, got worse, and ended up going straight to A&E (Accident and Emergency, or the emergency room). Turns out my gall bladder not only flared up, but it was really badly infected from all the gall stones in it, so I was in hospital until Wednesday. They gave me lots of nice morphine, but they didn't take my gall bladder out, firstly because it was too infected to operate, and secondly because there is a waiting list for people who want that kind of operation, so I have to wait a few months for that. Gotta love the NHS. You don't have to pay for treatment, but you have to wait ages for anything to be done. If I had private insurance or any money, I could be recovering from surgery right now.

It was a bit scary at first because of not having my family close by (or even in this country), but I didn't have to go through it alone. My ex-husband and his wife not only went with me to A&E, they visited, brought me things I needed, brought the kids to see me, and took care of all four of my kids, even the two who aren't my ex's! I was really touched by that, more than they know. I don't think I could have made it without them.

My friends from uni were brilliant as well. I had messages from most of my close friends, and Laura (the girl who had the 21st birthday party) said if I stayed in much longer she'd not only come see me, but she threatened to bring me grapes! But best of all, Rich kept me half-sane by keeping in touch every day and coming to see me during visiting hours. He even brought me a box of chocolates, even if he did nick one of the two Fudges in the box -- turns out they're his favourite as well as mine. His mum even said she'd give me a lift when I was discharged if I had no other way home (which made me feel really good since I always miss my mum and love knowing someone else has one as thoughtful as my own), but the ex picked me up, risking a parking ticket in the process! Since I was discharged, Rich has been a sort of minder, making sure I don't over-do it and checking on me regularly. Shame no one was acting as a minder for him last night since he has a nice hangover today! It's self-inflicted so I have no pity for him. Well, maybe a bit. I'd rather have a hangover than abdominal pain.

While I was in hospital, I received an official divorce petition, so Simon has started the ball rolling on that. I laughed my head off at the grounds for divorce because there's very little in it that's true -- though the bit about me taking care of my own children is right, and he did get the degree I'm studying for right as well -- but if it makes him happy to believe what it says, I'm not going to argue. I did realise that when it said I formed an "association" with a male classmate when I was in Brussels, it was right to a degree. It's called friendship, and I'm glad of it. It's turning out to be one of the best friendships of my life so I will never regret it.

Today Rich took me (I have no car at the moment and probably shouldn't be driving anyway) to see my new solicitor, and I think I found a good one. She's nice and friendly and seems to know what she's doing. Of course since he's planning on becoming a solicitor after we finish uni, Rich was interested in what's going on with my divorce, and he did take his opportunity to discuss the LPC and training contracts with my new solicitor. The cheeky git. Still, knowing him as I do, I fully expected him to do just that. It's one reason why I took him with me. Might as well get as much info and make contacts while he can.

I've lost some more weight, as is to be expected. For the first time in recent history, I'm below 10 stone. When I weighed this morning, I came in at 9 stone 12 pounds!

Hey, thanks to everyone who took the quiz! It's funny how people who have known me the longest scored lower than that those I've become friends with more recently! Still, with some of the questions, I'm sure that's to be expected. I would like to know who "Secret Admirer" is though ... He/she got 100% correct!

Take Melinda's Quiz!

2006-03-15T20:24:00.000Z

Take My Quiz
- on -
QuizYourFriends.com!

More Weight Loss

2006-03-12T10:44:00.000Z

With all the stress of the past month, I've lost more weight. In fact, when I left for Europe a month ago, I weighed 11 stone 4 pounds. Now I weigh 10 stone 2 pounds. Well, I did until I ate that pack of chocolate chip cookies last night!

Things To Look Forward To

2006-03-11T04:34:00.000Z

Sometime things really get on top of me, like they've been doing lately. Every now and then I feel overwhelmed and end up in tears, though I'm glad to let that pressure out instead of bottling it up. It helps to try to think of things to look forward to to help me get through the harder times. So, in the not too distant future I have these:

1. Finishing university.
2. Kate's hen night.
3. Kate's wedding.
4. The British Grand Prix and meeting up with friends there, perhaps even camping.
5. Karting with Mark Webber and the Club.
6. Maybe having a real holiday, even if it means going somewhere on my own.
7. Moving into a new house as a permanent residence.
8. Walking the Kinder Plateau.
9. Trying to do something else on my list of lifetime goals.
10. Doing as many of the things as I can on my list of goals for 2006.

I need a date for Kate's wedding. Anyone know of a nice single bloke who likes going to weddings with puddled women?

My Sister the Comedian

2006-03-08T12:02:00.000Z

I had an email from my sister Kim in which she commented that she's finding it hard to keep track of "all" my ex's. I replied asking if she can't count to three since that's all I have, and this was her response:

Of course I can count to three. For is it not written in the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

"Now did the Lord say, 'First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

I laughed so hard I had to post it!

Chill Out Sunday

2006-03-05T13:46:00.000Z

The past couple of weeks I haven't had much of a record of getting to bed early. I've either been out late, sitting up drinking and chatting, unable to sleep because of stuff going on at the time, or just unable to settle in the new house. Last night I got myself off to bed early and managed to sleep late this morning.

Unfortunately, in between I had a bad gall stone attack. Yep, I'm getting myself back to the doctor this week to do some ass kicking.

So far today I've done pretty much nothing. I've sent some emails, made bacon sandwiches for the boys, and vegetated. My plans for the rest of the day involve Tesco, washing my hair, and meeting up with Gautier tonight to work on the next round of our moot.

Back to uni tomorrow, with a 9.00 lecture! Ouch!

Back Online

2006-03-04T23:33:00.000Z

I thought that I would have serious withdrawal after being offline since Sunday night, but I think I've coped pretty well! They switched my phone line on today, and now I'm back! I've had to go with dial-up since my stay at this house is only temporary (even if that temporary turns out to be several months), but once I get a permanent property, I'll sign up for broadband again. Since I'm not downloading anything, I've been pretty surprised at my dial-up connection though. I was prepared for it to be a lot slower than it is.

Anyway, I'm obviously in my "new house" and settling in well. I've had quite a bit of time off uni this week to get things sorted out and try to get my head around all the changes. Needless to say, I've also spent a lot of time in the pub! Not one of my local pubs though because I feel a bit safer where I don't know anyone. Well, I didn't know anyone, but I seem to be making some friends there thanks to Rich! I'm hoping that they'll keep being just as friendly if I do go in there without him. Of course I probably will do just that.

Next week it's time to start getting other things sorted. I need to get in to see the doctor because I never did get an appointment through for the scan that is supposed to confirm my gall stones so I can go on the waiting list for the surgery. (I know, long run-on sentence but that's just how my brain is functioning right now!) Hopefully I can do that on Tuesday because it looks like there will be no classes due to industrial action. I know my criminal justice policy lecture is cancelled (thank heavens, that's two hours straight of yawning I'll get to miss out on!).

I've changed a couple of my 2006 goals (or did I mention that on here already?) because there's no reason why I need to get rid of the butt-ugly carpet and wallpaper in the living room of my old house now. I'm also not buying a caravan this year because I've got other things I need to get, like furniture! Rich and I started coming up with a new list of goals for me when we were enjoying a bottle of vodka Thursday night, but it's not one fit to post publicly on my blog! The things I can come out with under the influence of Smirnoff! I do know that I've promised that one day he can go to Texas with me, since he's never been to the US, and while we're there, I have to buy him a cowboy hat! Well, what are friends for?

Life Sucks

2006-02-27T01:07:00.000Z

How much worse can my life get? I'm having an absolutely shit day to follow on from a stressful week. The one thing that really made me smile lately has left the building, disappearing into the realms of legend like Elvis Presley. To console myself, I'm watching "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason". That's how absolutely shit I feel.

I must be running in self-destruct mode because I keep setting myself up for total failure. And now I've done it again. Typical me. A few days ago I was ready to go out and buy Dennis a bottle of the best whiskey I could lay my hands on for talking me into going on the Euro trip. Now I want to go kick him in the balls.

Okay, maybe this wasn't the ideal film to choose. Boy, am I pathetic or what!

Right. Time for me to get a grip. Maybe I'll start planning a holiday abroad. And tomorrow I move into my new house. Things can't be all that bad.

New Pic

2006-02-26T17:13:00.000Z

I told some friends of mine last night that I was going out for a few drinks, and they insisted on seeing a picture of me in my new top! Kate will recognise it -- I couldn't fit into it a month ago!

Forgive the bags under the eyes. I only took the picture after several hours of not being able to sleep!

Moving and Other Stuff

2006-02-25T22:21:00.000Z

I've been given a house in the area, and it's absolutely gorgeous! I drove by yesterday after I found out the address, and the workmen just happened to be there, so I had a wander around.

Fully furnished with new immaculate furniture, new carpeting, all the appliances I need ... I don't know that I'll ever want to leave! Maybe if the council offered me a four bedroom house somewhere. Monday morning I get to pick up the keys.

Today I took Malorie out for a pub lunch, then took the little two for Burger King. It's Braden's turn next. I would have taken him today but I wanted to do the mother-daughter thing. The burgers with the boys was a last minute thing. I'll take Braden somewhere nice this week for a meal.

And yes, I'm still happy with my decision. I'm just too puddled to be any use as a wife.

What a Life I Have

2006-02-24T20:16:00.000Z

I've been back to the house for the last time to collect what belongings I've been allowed to keep. They were out in the front garden, some of them in the mud. Others were thrown into my shed. It was amazing seeing how my life could be reduced to fitting into the back of a transit van.

I'm still very happy with my decision. There will be rocky patches ahead, but I don't have any regrets.

Another Update

2006-02-23T17:46:00.000Z

I'm not going to use my blog as a forum for slagging off people during this change in my life. I won't stoop to that level. Things are stressed, but I'll get through them. Ricky and Jack seem happier than I've ever seen them. My ex-husband, a frequent commenter on this blog, and his wife have been amazingly kind, letting me sleep in Jack's room. I never would have thought it, but like they said, if something happens to me, the boys suffer. Lynn and Steve have also been stars by letting Malorie and Braden stay with them.

I'm looking forward to having a place of my own. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just too puddled and independent to do anything more than be on my own. Maybe that means I'm difficult to live with, I don't know, but I'm ready to just be myself for the sake of myself without having to answer to anyone, so long as things don't affect my kids.

I have other things to look forward to, like the upcoming Law Ball. Natalie and I have been trying to talk my friend Jamie into going, even though he's not a law student. I think it would be great to have him there! I've leaned on his shoulder enough in the past year so I'd like to repay him a bit by having a good night out.

So I'm obviously bearing up well and prepared for things to come. I probably haven't reacted the way most people would expect, but if they disapprove, I'm afraid I can't do anything about it. I'm just me.

No News

2006-02-22T23:22:00.000Z

Still no place of my own, but hopefully the council will have that sorted by the weekend. The kids seem to be doing really well. I'm impressed with them.

I'm still not eating or sleeping properly, but I'm sure that will rectify itself soon. I'm trying to keep on going to uni for lectures, though concentration is just not happening for me!

Normal Service To Be Resumed Shortly

2006-02-20T19:23:00.000Z

I'm sorry that there's not much to blog about. My life is in turmoil as I try to find somewhere to live now that I've split from my husband. I'm sure I will fill in details at some other point, but for now, I'll stick to leaving it short and sweet.

Hey Guys, I'm Back!

2006-02-18T10:45:00.000Z

What a trip! I'm going to have to blog about it in stages because there's just so much to say. Then again, there's tons of stuff I can't or shouldn't say. I'll post in day blocks of things I remember. Since I was sober 99% of the time, I'll bet I remember more than most people do!

Amazing for me, I only took a few pics while I was there. Like when I was in London with Kate a few weeks ago, I just couldn't be bothered. I love photography, so I'm not sure why that is, but hey, I'll be back to snapping pics manically in no time.

Here's the best of the ones I took with my digital camera. I took a disposible one out with me because it was lighter, so there will be a few more to come from that one.

Sleeping Beauty -- Poor Ben! He had too much wine and too little sleep!

One of the few landscape-type pics I did take, of a village and vineyard in Alcace (I hope I spelled that right)

Their Drunken Lordships -- Glyn and Dennis at the wine tasting

The exterior of the French vineyard with Rich and the top of Ben's head in the foreground

Laura tried to leave Rob a message on his forehead when he dropped off to sleep on the coach

Nicola and I had neighbouring balconies to Ryan and Laura in the hotel in Brussels

Laura strikes a pose