I Really Did It!

I know I posted that I got my results earlier, but it's just now sinking in really. I got a 2:1! Oh my god! I got a 2:1!

That might not sound amazing to everyone, but if you only knew just how lucky I am to get that! The first half of this last year was going almost perfectly. My dissertation research was well underway, and I had everything scheduled so that I would have each chapter finished and read by my dissertation supervisor well in advance of the due date. I got a first on my victimology presentation. I got a 68 on my equity and trusts coursework.

Then, in February, everything fell apart. I knew things weren't going well between me and Simon, but I had hoped to make it through my exams in May before the big split happened. Instead, I had him kick off because I didn't jump him as soon as I walked through the door from my trip to Brussels with my university. I was tired. I'd gone almost 48 hours with only a couple of hours' sleep. The last thing on my mind when I got home was sex! So he sulked and pouted all weekend. That was also something not likely to get me into bed. And when I tried to talk to him, he refused to take any responsibility for working things out. He got pissed off and threw a glass across the room, almost hitting Ricky. Then, when I told him I had had enough and wanted him to leave, he tried to take an overdose of tablets. I called the police. They made him leave for the night, but that's all they could do. When I went to uni the next morning, I never went back for anything other than to get my stuff. What stuff he would let me have anyway.

So I've been through a relationship break up and becoming homeless this year. Then, in early March, I started seeing Rich. Talk about a total mind fuck! One minute he was with me, the next he was running back to his ex-girlfriend. And I let him do it because I thought I loved him. I thought I was in control of myself, but now, looking back, I know I was an emotional wreck. He played on that and used it, but I let him.

In mid-March I was admitted to hospital for almost a week because my gall bladder became infected. Evidently when I was waiting to be seen in the emergency room, I told Donna I wanted to die, the pain was that bad. I tried to get back to lectures and seminars as soon as I could once I was discharged, but I was way behind.

I did my best through April and into May, but I had to scramble to write my dissertation and papers for victimology and criminal justice policy. My law exams went a bit better, though I missed taking my equity and trusts exam.

Surgery in July. From May until the beginning of August, I got myself tangled up in a relationship with a married man who I thought would be moving up here to be with me because he loved me, and instead it turns out that I'm probably just one in a long line of women he's messed with just for the hell of it. He's on my friends' list on MySpace, but since he hasn't logged in since June I don't think he's using it as a venue for meeting more idiots like me.

After that, I seemed to pull myself together like I never did before. I passed that equity exam when I took it, thank goodness! And I did it on my own with no help from anyone else. I didn't lean on anyone, I just got on with the work.

So maybe it seems like I could have done better than a 2:1, and I probably could have. Under the circumstances, I'm damn proud of myself. I didn't buckle under the worst pressure I've probably been under in my life. I didn't quit. I did it, and no one can ever take this accomplishment away from me.