The Ex Husband Remarries

At first the proceedings were so secret they rivalled the arrangements of Britney Spears and whatever the name of the guy she married is. After spending a weekend with their dad, my kids would come in with juicy bits of gossip designed to put me off the scent. The first was that Richard and Donna were getting married in the big church in Chesterfield (the "Crooked Spire"), but I knew that wasn't true for two reasons. Firstly, both the bride and groom have been married previously (twice previously in the groom's case), and therefore they cannot have a church ceremony in a Church of England church. Secondly, the groom hates church weddings because of his lack of religious beliefs.

I suppose my reaction to each new piece of wedding planning disappointed him: "Who cares?"

And now the wedding is tomorrow. When I remarried, we most definitely had to keep all the arrangements a secret because things were, shall we say?, tense back then. Now that it's his turn, what is my reaction to the impending nuptials?

I did all their wedding flowers.

Yes, the ex-wife has not only found pillows for her sons to carry the rings on during the ceremony, but she's also made buttonholes for the family members to wear as well as the bride's bouquet. Ironic isn't it?

Don't worry. I charged him. It's about time I got some money out of the man.