Pointless Celebrity Weddings

So Jordan and Peter Andre got married and can collect on their mega buck promotional magazine deal. It sounds like a totally tacky affair, and I can't wait to sneak a peak at the pictures in the trashy magazine that actually paid them for the exclusive pics. Don't worry about me contributing to their riches, however. I won't lower myself to actually buy a copy!

Jordan's Lavish Wedding
It's sparked rumours of everything from giant wedding dresses and boob-shaped cakes to celebrity guests - or lack of.

But after weeks of speculation, Jordan and Peter Andre finally got married - at a bash that was shrouded in secrecy.

According to The Sun, around 350 guests - including Jennifer Ellison and Vanessa Feltz - watched the couple tie the knot at Highclere Castle in Berkshire.

And Kerry Katona - who met the pair on I'm A Celebrity - and Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding were bridesmaids at the bash.

But those without invites - including fans and members of the press - were kept at bay by a strict security cordon.

And helicopters even circled the castle to stop unwelcome guests from getting in or snapping aerial photos.

Inside, the do was reportedly lavish, with Jordan showing up for the civil ceremony in a pink horse-drawn carriage.

She also walked down the aisle to the sounds of Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing.

And as the happy couple signed the register, Stevie Wonder's Signed, Sealed, Delivered was played.


At the party afterwards, guests dined on lobster and foie gras, served by opera singing waiters - while Jordan and Peter perched on his and hers thrones, The Sun reported.

X Factor finalist Rowetta performed at the reception - replacing Charlotte Church, who was booked to sing but pulled out.

And guests were also treated to a duet from the happy couple - who danced to a recording of themselves singing the ballad A Whole New World, from the movie Aladdin.

"The whole event was an incredible spectacle, from the outrageous pink thrones to Jordan's outfit," a source told The Sun.

"She couldn't walk properly and it took four bridesmaids to help her sit down. She could have used some advice on good taste."

Earlier reports had suggested that a string of celebrity guests, including Myleene Klass and Denise van Outen - had snubbed Jordan's big day.

But Jordan's spokeswoman denied this, saying they had never been invited in the first place.

She also denied rumours that the pair would tuck into a boob-shaped wedding cake, saying the do wouldn't be "tacky"

©2005 BSkyB

So no boob cake, but still sounds like the ultimate chav wedding to me! I might be poor, but I'll take having class and limited means over having loads of money and being trashy! If I ever get married again (heaven forbid), I'll still forego the his and hers thrones a la Jordan and Posh Spice!