Someone Did a Nice Thing Today
A lot of people don't realise just how hard it is being an American in England. I don't mean the "language barrier". You know, how the two countries are separated by a common language. I don't mean the politics either. My politics fit in here much more easily than they do in the US.
I mean the loneliness. Yes, I have my kids, my husband, and some great friends. I don't know what I would do without Shell sometimes, and Lynn has been a good friend to me, too. Marie and Graham are wonderful.
The loneliness usually hits when I'm at university. I'm not a loner. I'm a very social person, but my own self-consciousness and insecurities make it hard for me to just go up to someone and strike up a conversation. When I do try, often I am given the cold shoulder. That happened yesterday. We were given our tort law essays back, and two of the girls sitting next to me were commenting on their writing habits. I smiled and said, "That sounds just like me." They looked at me as if I had green boils on my face. I'm pretty sure I didn't.
It doesn't help that I'm just about old enough to be most of my fellow students' mother. Those who are in a lot of the same seminar groups as I are friendly enough, but they have their lives which don't include a woman who reminds them of mum once the class ends. Between lectures I often sit on my own, a bit of depression setting in, while the other students laugh and chat in their groups around me.
But today was different. Today someone spoke to me, and he actually seemed to enjoy my company.
It started off simply enough. One of the "mature students", though I'm sure he's younger than I am, who is in my criminology modules sat near me in the break between lectures. I grabbed a newspaper, flipped through it (more for something to do than interest in any of the articles), and found a story about my favourite store, IKEA, branching off into selling flat-pack houses. Because people who know me know I'm IKEA mad, I phoned Simon on my mobile I told him about it. When I got off the phone, the guy near me struck up a conversation, mostly because I think he heard an accent.
It was the nicest half hour I have spent on that campus. Don't get me wrong. I didn't go back to school so I could find a social life. I did it because I love learning. But I'm a social being, and having someone speak to me because they enjoyed it (and he said he did) was a real treat.
So, to my new friend Jamie, thank you. The smallest gestures can have a great impact, and yours did not go unnoticed.
I mean the loneliness. Yes, I have my kids, my husband, and some great friends. I don't know what I would do without Shell sometimes, and Lynn has been a good friend to me, too. Marie and Graham are wonderful.
The loneliness usually hits when I'm at university. I'm not a loner. I'm a very social person, but my own self-consciousness and insecurities make it hard for me to just go up to someone and strike up a conversation. When I do try, often I am given the cold shoulder. That happened yesterday. We were given our tort law essays back, and two of the girls sitting next to me were commenting on their writing habits. I smiled and said, "That sounds just like me." They looked at me as if I had green boils on my face. I'm pretty sure I didn't.
It doesn't help that I'm just about old enough to be most of my fellow students' mother. Those who are in a lot of the same seminar groups as I are friendly enough, but they have their lives which don't include a woman who reminds them of mum once the class ends. Between lectures I often sit on my own, a bit of depression setting in, while the other students laugh and chat in their groups around me.
But today was different. Today someone spoke to me, and he actually seemed to enjoy my company.
It started off simply enough. One of the "mature students", though I'm sure he's younger than I am, who is in my criminology modules sat near me in the break between lectures. I grabbed a newspaper, flipped through it (more for something to do than interest in any of the articles), and found a story about my favourite store, IKEA, branching off into selling flat-pack houses. Because people who know me know I'm IKEA mad, I phoned Simon on my mobile I told him about it. When I got off the phone, the guy near me struck up a conversation, mostly because I think he heard an accent.
It was the nicest half hour I have spent on that campus. Don't get me wrong. I didn't go back to school so I could find a social life. I did it because I love learning. But I'm a social being, and having someone speak to me because they enjoyed it (and he said he did) was a real treat.
So, to my new friend Jamie, thank you. The smallest gestures can have a great impact, and yours did not go unnoticed.
posted by Melinda at 2/03/2005 11:13:00 pm
2 Comments:
As an ex-pat Yank in the UK, I sympathise. I have never really lost my American accent in the ten years I've lived in England, and I constantly wind up repeating myself to people who seem to have no problem with the various native English accents, which is frustrating. I even had my wife's niece complain once because I sounded like one of her teachers at school. She finished up her diatribe by stating "Yanks should go back where they come from!" which made me feel oh so welcome!
I wonder what such folk would think of a half-breed like me? With Yank for a father and a Brit for a mum. Would the Brits tell me to go back across the Pond to where I came from (since I was born there), and the Yanks tell me to take better care of my teeth (because it's the only insult they seem capable of throwing against the Brits)? O.O
What if I told them that by blood I'm more than half Brit? Would that make a difference? Would it help if I put on one of the many British accents I can mimic?
I'm glad someone was willing to chat with you, Mel. That's a good thing.
Unlike you, I tend to be a loner. Today, however, I'm feeling very blah. Somewhat depressed. And lonely. Very lonely. A lot of people I keep in contact with seem to be somewhere else doing something else today and the past few days. No emails. No blog entries. No comments in my blog. I thought Jan 24 was supposed to be the bleakest day of the year, yet here it is Feb 4 and it seems bleaker by far. Blah!
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