Arrrrgh!

No keys to my new house yet ... So this morning I decided to ring to see how long they think it might be before I get them. The (very rude) lady I spoke to said it's written on the job sheet that it will be next week. That's fine with me. At least it's the most confident I've heard them as to a time frame.

And yes, I'm disappointed that I had to cancel my trip to Texas when I didn't even get to move while I would have been away, but I just couldn't take the risk. But what point would there be of going all drama queen? It wouldn't change a thing and would only use up valuable energy. It's happened for a reason. I guess I was just supposed to stay in England for now!

I did have that job interview last Tuesday. I would have missed that if I'd gone on holiday. Not only that, but I have another job interview this Thursday. I would have missed having lunch with David last Thursday and sharing a bottle of wine with him on Friday, and I would have missed the strangest Halloween party I've ever been to ... But hey, I won a prize. Not for the best costume, but for being brave enough to fake an orgasm (a la "When Harry Met Sally"). I tried anyway, but ended up laughing my head off halfway through. The prize was interesting. A girl can never have too many sex toys, but I think I'll give the nipple clamps away!

Happy Samhain!

What Friends Are For

I have made some really good friends in the pub where I work. Most of them are in and out regularly, but there are a few who come in for a while, then get busy with their lives and don't have a chance to prop the bar up and drink beer. Yesterday one of my friends, who I haven't seen in at least a month, was there. Craig's a really nice and very funny Scottish guy who looks a bit like Jesus (minus the holes in the hands and feet), and we usually end up having discussions about music and movies. Because it had been so long since I'd seen him, when I left to go home after my shift ended, I gave him a big hug.

Today I found out that one of his best friends, who has cancer, isn't expected to live out the night, so I gave Craig another hug. This evening I got this text message: "I went to see Barry after I left you today. He's in that morphine-induced half-life between this world and the next. Your hug helped me be strong."

It's amazing how the smallest things you can do for a friend end up meaning so much. Never underestimate the power of your actions.

And Sometimes They Reappear ...

Last night has to go down in the books as a very interesting evening! As soon as I walked into the pub the landlord Howard said, "Your gentleman friend is here". And sure enough, there was Dave, sitting the in the corner with his friend Paul playing cards. For the longest time he didn't even look in my direction, but when it came time for his round of drinks, he spoke to me. All I got was a short apology for the fact he hasn't rang me (it had been well over a week since the last time I'd heard from him) but he's had "a lot on". Yeah, so much that some common courtesy was too much trouble.

He wanted to know what I was doing after I finished work. I had plans. I was meeting someone to share a bottle of wine and a lovely evening, which I did have and loved every minute of. Even if I didn't have plans, did he think I was going to jump at the chance to see him after work when he couldn't even be bothered to let me know what the hell was going on?

For heaven's sake, I don't want constant phone calls and someone around me 24/7. Everyone needs their own time and their own space, so it suited me very well that he was working out of town Monday to Friday with a night back in Chesterfield sometime during the week. But to be shown a degree of respect ... That's all I ask for.

But it gets more interesting. After his friend left to go meet his girlfriend, Dave went to sit with Malorie. She had a text come through from one of her male friends calling her a bitch. I don't know why, but that's what these idiots she hangs around with do. It seems to be cool to send texts slagging each other off. She showed it to Dave though, and the next thing she knew, he was sending this boy a text back telling him to show Malorie some respect.

Nothing wrong with that. Dave's just a bit younger than I am so, like me, he doesn't see what's so funny about sending messages like that. But whereas I think the best approach is just to ignore them, he couldn't let it rest. For two hours it was flying text messages which escalated to phone calls. Oh my god ... I was not impressed whatsoever, by what the boy was saying to my daughter or by what Dave was saying to the boy! According to Malorie, he asked Dave "Well who are you?" and Dave's reply was, "I'm Malorie's mum's boyfriend".

Excuse me? I didn't know he was my boyfriend! I wish someone had told me!

I also had a missed call from Dave, but I'd left my mobile in my car overnight. At least I know he hadn't lost my number, but it was just too little too late. He's an absolutely lovely man, don't get me wrong, and I honestly like him. He has a generous nature and a kind heart. He's just too wrapped up in himself at the moment.

I'm not really callous, though I think it might sound like I am. I'm not bitter, I'm not feeling bitchy, and I'm not upset. I just don't like being treated as a convenience, and these twats I seem to be finding need to learn to treat women with more respect. One day they might grow up.

What's Up With Me?

I posted this last night on my MySpace blog, and the guy I mention at the end, the one I had a wonderful time with Monday night, read it and went ballistic! He seems to think that I was having a go at him, even though there is nothing in this post that he and I didn't talk about and laugh over. He's even moved me down in the ranking on his MySpace friends list. But hey, that's life, and if he doesn't like me that's fine. I'm just myself.

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This is by no means a complaining blog post. It's totally meant as observation. I'm not going to go change myself for anyone, and I'm making that clear from the start. But it seems to have happened yet again. For a couple of weeks I was seeing Dave, a bloke I met a while back at the pub. Really nice, down to earth guy. He asked me out for a meal, made a big deal of asking the pub landlady what my hours were so he didn't interfere with work, asked my daughter if it was okay for him to start seeing me, and introduced me to his own daughter. We had a lovely time, and he surprised me by coming into the pub last Wednesday night.

I haven't heard from him since. From hour-long phone calls every day to not a single word. As far as I can tell, I didn't say or do anything wrong, but I'm not going to sweat over it.

The same kind of thing happened a few weeks before. Adam had been begging me since July to go out for a drink with him. He's another very nice guy, very genuine and a good laugh. Finally I did go for a drink with him, and then he disappeared too. Well, in a fashion. Out of curiosity I sent him a text today asking how he is, and he did reply. At least I know he's still alive.

I totally understand if a bloke decides he doesn't want to see me or just wants to be friends. I'm a bit eccentric and slightly (okay a lot ...) insane. But for heaven's sake! It would be nice to be told that rather than be left wondering what the hell has happened!

Needless to say I'm a bit paranoid, but last night I had a wonderful time with a guy I've known for a few months now, and at least he's been in touch with me today! In the time I've known him, he hasn't disappeared, and we even had a joke about last night about where everyone has been disappearing to. Well, I don't have a patio, so they aren't under there ...

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And now he's disappeared too ...

Ick

Oh it's just one of those days. The weather is crap, it's getting dark early and I have a nasty cold. I haven't heard anything about the keys to my house, though when I peeked through the window on Sunday it looked like all the cupboards were in the kitchen. The floors still needed tiling though

I'm also on pins and needles because I had my first job interview yesterday morning. I think it went really well, considering the cold and the sleepless night I had the night before. The man who interviewed me gave me a positive feeling when I left, but he still had two candidates to interview. I'm supposed to find out something tomorrow.

I need to get out tomorrow, cold or no cold, and get some bits for my Halloween costume. I've been invited to a party on Saturday night, and seeing as how I'm missing out on the party I was supposed to be going to in Texas and I'm only working until 8 that night, I figure why not? Don't ask me what the costume is, at the moment I'm not sure what the hell I'm going as. I've found a top I can make a costume around, and if it's half decent I might post some pictures this weekend.

Michelle is coming around for coffee this evening, and I'm looking forward to it so I can cry on her shoulder. I'm a miserable cow today, with puffy eyes and a red nose! It's a good thing I'm not working because I would probably scare the customers away!

Found Friends!

This seems to be a time for finding and meeting up with old friends. I couldn't be happier! Last week was my godson Morgan's birthday so I had a message from his mum and my best friend Michelle. I hadn't seen her since February when I moved out of the house in Mastin Moor, and I hadn't heard from her since just before my surgery in July. She came up last Wednesday for a coffee and a gossip, and then again tonight, and it's been great! Just like old times!

I've also heard from a friend of mine from the David Couthard Supporter's Club. I made a few very good friends there - Sandra, Si, Thom, Nati, Pauline ... And I have been able to keep in touch with most of them (though I need to find Nati again!) But tonight I had a chance to chat to one who had been missing, another Simon, and I have to say that I really have missed him! I don't think we've spoken since the DCSC forum shut down about two years ago. What's important is that we're back in touch now, and I'm over the moon! He better stay in touch this time too!

I'm also planning a trip to Texas for later this year, and when I'm there I'll be meeting up with some of my friends from my high school days, including my very first boyfriend Don! I'll also get to meet some of the people I've been chatting to via my high school's forum but didn't really know when I was in school. I'm especially looking forward to hanging out with Chad, Caro and Sheila! Whoa,I don't think that Texas will be the same after the four of us are through!

News and Views

I still haven't moved into my new house yet, but it shouldn't be much longer. It turns out that the kitchen that looked so nice through the window wasn't in very good shape, so the council had to rip it out. They're in the process of putting in all brand new cupboards, and the work seems to be going pretty quickly! I looked in one day, and the workers were ripping everything out, then the next day they were putting things in! I'm going to check again tomorrow when I'm in the neighbourhood and see if any of the new cupboards are in.

Malorie chatted with my former neighbour Lynn last week. Turns out that Lynn and Simon are now engaged, and they're trying for a baby. According to Lynn, she has ring picked out, but it costs £1000! Wow! The ring Simon bought me didn't even cost £100! I know because I found the receipt once! Funny thing is, a couple of days after Malorie spoke to Lynn, I had a letter from my solicitor to say that they've heard from Simon's solicitor. He wants money. Approximately £1000. Now, seeing as how he kept practically everything of value when we split up, including the business, electronic gadgets, etc., I wonder why he needs £1000 all of sudden?

As for my love life ... Let's see. I was seeing a guy named Steve for a bit, but suddenly he decided that it "wasn't working" for him. I've also been out with a couple of other guys who flaked out. Like Adam. I saw him one night, then he disappeared for over a week, until I had a text from him at 4.30 this morning! I'm not looking for anyone because that just leads to stress and disappointment. But I'm not ruling out that there's someone out there who is the right "one!" I'm not going to settle for anyone. There's got to be something incredible there. That just didn't happen with Steve, that's for sure!