Are Imports Necessarily A Good Thing?

I like having things imported from all over the world. The things I buy when I do my shopping have come from more exotic places than I will probably ever have the chance to visit. My honey is from Australia, my beer is from Belgium and my coffee is from South America. Most of my furniture is from Sweden and Denmark (thanks to IKEA!). My car is French.

We get television imports here, too. Aussie soaps are a favourite, and I've seen quite a few German shows that look really good, or at least they would if I spoke German.

But this takes the cake. They haven't just imported Jerry Springer re-runs to the U.K. Nope. They've imported Jerry Springer himself in a brand new chat-show on ITV to replace Trisha Goddard.

Not only has he taken over a day time chat show, he's complaining that British chat shows are ten years behind the U.S. He says they are more fitting for radio than telvision. Too much talking, in other words. Actions speak louder than words.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Ice Cream Lovin' Dog

Ice Cream Lovin' Dog
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

I've been pretty sick the past few days, and no matter where I've moved in the house, the dog has sat with me. Even if he goes off to eat or play or whatever, he's been checking on me every few minutes. Today he had his reward. When Simon got home from work, we let Mitch clean out the rest of the ice cream from the carton! Usually that privelege goes to the kids, and the kids have to use spoons.

You gotta love this dog.

I'm Getting Better!

Malorie Scrapbooking Page
Originally uploaded by mkknowles.

I've taken up scrapbooking lately, and I think I'm improving! My daughter saw the page I did with her picture on it and was very impressed. Well, hopefully it was for my scrapbooking talent and not her photogenic qualities ... Although the latter is probably the most truthful!

Diary Entry

9.31 am I've been a rather sporadic diarist lately, I'm afraid. Just too much going on to keep up, but fortunately I've finished my exams and, unless I have to resit anything in August, that's my second year finished. I feel like I did reasonably well on my three exams, but I felt that way about my criminal law essay in January and only made a 49 on it. I did study a lot harder this year than last year.

I feel rough. I've got a cold. The weather turns nice, and I get a cold. Typical.

7.19 pm Boring day. Relaxing though. I've been out only to go pay the rent. Other than that, I've read, scrapbooked and watched a few more episodes from the box set of series 1 of Law and Order that came yesterday. I found it on Amazon for just over £8. Not bad to say that it was still sealed up and never used, and it has 22 episodes. Now I need to wait for series 2 to go down in price. It'll happen eventually, I'm sure.

I had a quick chat with Pete earlier. His music is getting better and better, or he's just learning to use his music software. I'm very impressed.

And Another Wait

I thought I was going to have to wait until August to get all my results, but evidently the criminology results came out today. Then, at 8.00 this evening, I got a text message from Jamie asking me how I did. That was the first I knew of it! With it being that time on a Friday night, there was no way I could go find out how I did, and it's a Bank Holiday weekend, so it's going to be Tuesday before I get to see how I did on those three assignments I handed in last month!

Jamie won't tell me how he did on his until I get my results either. That's so like a man.

Another Milestone!

Wow, I've had 2500 hits on my blog since I installed the counter!

Kids Can Be Very Cruel

I've always know that most kids have a cruel streak in them. If you're a parent, especially if you have more than one child, all you have to do is listen to them fighting to know that they don't think before they speak. My kids aren't perfect, and they certainly fight amongst themselves. I have a house rule that you don't say anything to anyone else that isn't positive, but that doesn't stop them from the sibling rivalry crap when they think I can't hear.

I'm not, however, used to the cruel remarks being aimed at me, and I'm certainly not used to them coming from my 15 year old son Braden.

Braden has always been the thoughtful child. He's the caring, sensitive and loving one who isn't afraid to give his mum a hug in front of his friends. Of his own free will, of course. I would never ask him to do it in front of "the guys".

Today when he came in from school, he said, "Malorie tells me that when we're 18, if we want to move to America you won't pay for the flights".

We've lived in England since the start of 1998. I've paid for I don't know how many flights, with no help from their father (although plenty of help from mine) in the past seven + years. When they turn 18, I'm free from that financial burden. I confirmed that I had, indeed, said that.

Braden's response was, "I'll just get my dad to pay for my flight then".

That wasn't a surprise either. I've known that Braden is ambitious. He wants to get into car design, and his chances are better in the US than in England. Not car design as in engineering, by the way. Car design as in "pimp my ride" stuff.

Then he announced that when he's 16, he's going to quit school and go to work for one of the local banks for two years. Evidently they were in his school today recruiting from the best and brightest of the 15 year olds. That infuriated me for a start. It's hard enough convincing kids to stay in school without businesses going into the classroom and try to explain how paying them £13,000 a year without the need for qualifications is the best way forward for them.

I told him he most definitely will be staying in school until he's 18.

"I won't. I'm going to go to work for the bank and make £13,000 a year and then move to the US. And my dad will pay for it".

It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "Oh yeah? How come when I kicked your dad out, he told me I could have you, he only wanted Malorie?" But I couldn't do that to him. Instead I sat at my desk and cried quietly where he couldn't hear me.

I went through this with Malorie last year, only without the recruitment attempts from banks. She announced that she was going to move to Texas and live with her dad when she turns 18 because he said he'll buy her a new car. Since then, she's changed her mind. She's 16 now, but she's staying on at school and wants to live in England when she's finished. She knows it will hurt her dad to tell him, but she said she realises that if she moves to Texas, her dad will only use her as a carer and she'll have little freedom to do her own thing.

I don't believe in emotionally blackmailing my kids. They get enough of that from their dad. I think that's backfired where Malorie, especially, is concerned. Having him cry on the phone and tell them that he's scared they won't move to be with him when they're 18 has shown her that he's only interested in himself.

I only hope that if Braden does move to the US, he does it for the right reasons.

Blogging Purgatory

I hate it when I type up a long and heart felt blog post and have it disappear completely on me when I click the "Publish" button. Take two coming up.

First Day Off

Let's see, with no studies, I slept a bit late this morning. I tried to anyway. Stupid dog woke me up at silly hours because he wanted our left overs from the Indian we ordered in last night. I thought he just wanted to go out for a pee. Nope, he wanted garlic naan bread.

I've read some of the first book on my summer reading list, I've made a scrapbook page, and I've watched the first two episodes of the first series of "Law and Order" out of the box set that came this morning.

Not the most exciting day, but I'm enjoying it. I'd enjoy it more if I could shake this cold, but you can't have everything.

I'm Free!

Free at last! I finished my tort law exam two hours ago, and now I'm home bouncing off the walls because I feel like I should be studying. Simon wanted to take me out tonight for a meal, but I'm so wound up I want to stay in (though I told him he can take me to TGI Friday's on Friday!). All I want to do is kick back, have a few drinks, maybe watch a movie and not rush around to get ready when he gets home from work. Ricky and Jack are at their dad's tonight, Malorie and Braden have gone out, and NOW that I've finished year two, the house is quiet and no studying!

I guess I did fairly well on the exam. We'd been told in our other classes that we could have a copy of the relevant statutes with us, so I assumed (wrongly) that we could for tort law as well. I didn't bother memorising the relevant statute sections because I assumed (wrongly) that I could just look them up.

Fortunately I had chosen to do two of the three essay questions, and one of them didn't have any statutes to remember. The second I could remember bits and pieces. For the third question, I chose one of the three problem questions, and I didn't remember any of the statute related to that. I just scribbled down anything relevant anyway because I spent so much time on the essay questions that I only had 30 minutes to do the last one. At least I could remember most of the cases on occupiers' liability, even if I couldn't remember what I needed from the Occupiers' Liability Act of 1957.

And at this moment in time, I just don't care. I'll worry when my results show up. For now, I'm going to go collapse in a heap on the couch and read something frivilous.

There Are Always Resits

My studying isn't going well. I've got a flu bug and feel absolutely icky, and, of course, the kids won't leave me alone. Simon stayed home because it rained today, and he said he'd keep them out of my hair for a while, but he's busy on his computer and hasn't even noticed they're driving me mad.

Well, the exam is over tomorrow, and if I mess up, there are always resits in August.

Consolidation Blog

I have blogs all over the place, all of which I want to keep. I have this one, my diary blog, my craft blog, my Formula One blog and my photography blog. Now I have a consolidation blog on MSN, just a place for me to post everything in one place. Don't ask me why, exactly, but I like my Blogger blogs, and I like this MSN blog space. I'm insane, I know. I think I have taken a liking to the MSN one because it's so easy to add lists and links.

I've called the new one "Puddled Stuff". You don't have to go to it to read the posts I put on here though. It's just duplication.

I Feel Dirty

I know that I'm not the world's greatest housewife. I have always preferred to spend time with my kids to nagging them to keep things sterilised. The clothes are washed, the dishes are done, the trash is taken out ... but with four kids and a not-very-big house, there's clutter. Not filth. Just clutter.

But suddenly I feel very dirty. The new Dyson I ordered yesterday has just arrived. It was expensive (over £300), but with a dog that sheds constantly and an asthmatic step-son, it was more of a medical necessity than might be called for in many other households. Now I see why it was so expensive.



I only vacuumed in the living room a couple of days ago (hey, I'm trying to study for exams here!) with our old Dyson. Then this one came -- it's called "The Animal". I vacuumed a small square of carpet behind my desk chair here. Wow. The dust and dog hair that came up from a 4x4 foot area was unbelievable! I'm surprised there was any carpet left, but expensive Axminster is good for something after all, even if it's ugly and was chosen by Simon's ex-wife, but that's another story.

By the time I finish the living room, I'll probably have had to empty the chamber on the Dyson a few times, but the carpet will be dust and dog free. Even my friend Mr Domestos would be impressed.

Today's Horrorscope

My Psychic Friend needs a tune up. My personalised horrorscope that was delivered to my inbox this morning says that if I want a child, now is the time to have it.

Excuse me? I'm pulling my hair out with the four I've got, not to mention I had it fixed where there won't be any little surprises coming along!

I'd email my Psychic Friend and tell him/her that he/she is fired, but if they're a good psychic, they'll already know.

Original Music

I've finally put the music that Pete has written, recorded and sent to me over the past, oh, I dunno, year or so onto a CD. Make that two CDs. He's written a lot of music. It's great stuff, too. I really enjoy it, and someday I hope to be the founding member and president of the Pete Fan Club!

He's got some of his stuff on the internet, so click here.

Grrrrrrr ... !!!!!!!

It is so hard to study while the kids are at their noisiest. I'm convinced I'm going to do totally crap on my tort exam Wednesday. It's the one module that has bored me to the point that I've barely kept up with it. Fortunately there are a few subjects that I've kind of clicked with, like defamation, psychiatric injury and, of all things, occupiers liability, which are all on the exam. I'll never get all the cases memorized, but that's okay. As long as I know a few of the main ones, I should be okay. Most of occupiers liability is statute law, and we're allowed to take copies of the statutes in.

Now if I can just convince Ricky and Jack to turn the volume down. Not on the telly. On their mouths!

Shopping!

What an exciting day ... I've ordered a new Dyson. Does it get any more thrilling than that? Still, every time I vacuum with the Dyson we've already got, I pick up enough dog hair to make half a new dog, so I'm sure I could get a whole dog out of the new Dyson! I thought I shed a lot of hair when my hair was really long. I find Mitch's hair everywhere. It's even in my underwear drawer. Yuck.

Yep, a new Dyson might not be exciting, but it's better than getting dog hair stuck in my knickers.

What Are Husbands For?

Simon informed me that one of his friends was having a good laugh over my blog today. I won't mention any names -- you know who you are! The friend, after having a look, said, "I can't be doing with clever women".

What was Simon's response? "Neither can I. That's why I married Melinda".

Creepy Coincidence ...

I seem to come across these weird coincidences fairly often, like when I decided, for the first time in months, to look at the obituaries in the Dallas newspaper (online version) and discovered a relative had died.

This one is a bit creepier. I have to take my tort law exam on Wednesday, and one of the questions I decided to answer is an essay question on psychiatric injury. Some of the most relevant recent claims on the subject have come from the Hillsborough disaster in 1989. This was a horrific event where 96 Liverpool supporters were crushed to death at the Sheffield Wednesday football grounds at Hillsborough.

Where am I taking my exam on Wednesday? The Sheffield Wednesday football grounds. Not only that, but my lecturer told me that the sports hall where we're sitting the exam was used as the morgue for the victims that day.

It's enough to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

One Down, Two to Go!

I don't even want to think about how I did on my EU law exam today. I seemed to forget all the names of the cases, even though they're pretty easy names. I completely forgot to mention Commission v UK (UHT Milk) in one of my answers. Oh well. Too late to worry about it now.

Tomorrow is criminal law. I didn't do very well on my first semester assignment in that module, so I'm hoping to bring my marks up with the exam, but I'm not going to hold my breath. At this point I'll settle for a pass. I've narrowed my studies down to three areas: theft, rape and self defence. Now I need to see if I can keep all this from leaking out my ears before tomorrow morning.

Time for Sleep

I've studied my little brains out today. I don't know how well I'll do, but I'm as prepared for my European Union law exam as I'm going to get. Fortunately we don't have to memorise the complete names of the relevant cases -- some of them are a mile long and not in English -- and we're allowed to take copies of legislation in with us. Mine are all bookmarked and highlighted. It's just a shame we can't use our notes.

Now I need to get a few hours' shut-eye or I'll be useless come exam time at 10.00 am!

I Give Up

My first exam is tomorrow, and I just plain give up. I'm not "allowed" to revise for it. My kids won't let me. Jack is hyper, Ricky is picking on Jack, Braden is shouting at Ricky and Jack so that I know they're being hyper and picking on each other, and Malorie is jumping in so she isn't left out. Simon's on his computer. You'd think that everyone could just be nice for one evening. Well, three evenings since I have three exams.

It's a good thing PMT was last week, or all five of them would be sitting in a row on the kerb not daring to move for fear of my wrath.

Reverse Discrimination

I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't discriminate against anyone because of their race, religion or gender. I'm a feminist, but though I'm a feminist, I don't believe that women should discriminate against men just to make up the difference, so to speak.

I also have my own Yahoo Group called "F1 Women". We currently have 100 members in our little group, but we would have 101 if it hadn't been for someone who tried to spoil our fun.

Let's call her Jane (as in Jane Doe). Jane joined the group a few weeks back, and immediately stated that she's a big fan of Jacques Villeneuve. That led to the rest of us who are regular contributors introducing ourselves and stating who our favourite F1 drivers are. I said mine are David Coulthard and Mark Webber. Another said her favourite is Fernando Alonso. Yet another said she likes Christian Klien. Jane's response was, "Who are Fernando Alonso and Christian Klien?" Now, she might be forgiven for not knowing who Klien is, as this is only his second year, but Alonso is currently the Championship leader and has been on the podium in all five races so far this year.

The reason I mention this in connection with reverse discrimination is that, although I named my group "F1 Women", men are welcome to join as well. On my homepage for the group, it states: "Who says men are the only ones who can enjoy and understand the world of Formula One? Discuss the F1 world without the hassle of men who think they know it all! However, if you're a man who is open minded enough to discuss F1 with women, you are more than welcome here!" As a result, we have several male members, none of whom have ever been anything but gentlemen.

Evidently Jane doesn't read homepages. One of our male members posted that his girlfriend says he looks like Jacques Villeneuve, and Jane freaked. I got a nasty message from her saying that I was misleading members by calling my group "F1 Women" if I allowed men to join. I politely replied, pointing out the sentence on the homepage welcoming male members. She sent another nasty message restating her view that I was misleading people, and stating that she was going to quit the group because men were allowed.

Only she didn't quit. She kept posting that men shouldn't be allowed. Well, I'm sorry, Jane, but that's not how I work. I started the group because almost every public F1 forum I joined treated women as if we were only interested in what the drivers look like and what their girlfriends/wives wear, and as if we know nothing about the technical side and the rules and regs. But if I were to ban men, that would make me as bad as those sexist pigs. Instead, I banned Jane.

Hopefully Jane has started her own little group where she have a man-free zone of her own making. At least no one can call me a hypocrite.

Race For Life!

It's almost a month until Malorie and I do the 5K Race for Life for Cancer Research UK. So far we have £32.82 in online sponsorship, and £20 offline, so if you can, please sponsor us! If you can't afford it, don't worry, I won't come after you. It's just a plea for those who have a bit of spare cash to put a bit of it towards a worthy cause. Just click on the link in my sidebar or on the banner below.




Carol, Roy and Lynn, you guys are absolute dolls!

I've Been to IKEA!!!!!!

Oh what a lovely day! I've been IKEA shopping for my new office, even though it's not finished yet. I went armed with my brand new credit card! (I can hear people groaning already ...)

So I've bought two of these:



And one of these:



And one of these (it's a table top):



with these legs:



I got some of these for fun because they're cute:



And one of these because a girl needs her own set of tools:



For the rubbish I got this, cuz I'm full of rubbish, believe me:



I also bought a few things for my daughter, who was not very grateful and spent the shopping trip with a face like a wet weekend.

Grand total: £59.50. Not bad.

I'm a Leveller

Okay, I don't know what the other personality types are, but I took a quiz online, and I'm a "leveller". Sounds good to me.


Your personality explained: 6 facts about you
by Susan Quilliam

The Leveller
Who are you - and why?
As a leveller, you've got your life together. While other personalities major too much on thinking or feeling, you are in perfect balance. You respond to situations with clear-sightedness, taking your cue from your feelings, but using your mind to help you make decisions and action plans.

The positives: You're very together. You really take life by the scruff of the neck and do what you want with it. You make and achieve your goals because you have all the bits of the lifestyle jigsaw.

The negatives: There aren't many other people like you. You might sometimes feel you're the only sorted person in the world!

The leveller at work: You are a good colleague and team member able to support but also keep people on task. You're particularly good at management roles where the need is to balance out different sets of needs without getting swamped by your feelings.

The leveller in love:You are a great partner because you rarely get hooked into the sort of destructive patterns that many of the other personality types do.

Your love match is: Your ideal pairing is with a leveller and you'll both live happily ever after. With any of the other personality types you risk doing all the giving, simply because you are more together than they are.

What should you do? Carry on doing what you're doing and make sure that your friends, relatives, colleagues and partners are duly grateful for your having you around.

Diary

12.11 pm I have got to have my own space. Simon has his office. All I have is a corner of the living room, which means that when there are times I need to study -- like now for instance -- I can't do it when Simon decides he wants to watch a movie. He doesn't watch quiet movies either. They have to have lots of shooting and explosions, and he has the volume at full blast. So for two hours, I have to sit here and wait. He's networked the DVD player up so he can watch it in any room in the house, but does he want to watch it in another room? Nope.

And the Diet Begins ... Again!

I desperately want to lose weight before July. Why, do you ask? I have a chance to meet one of my all-time favourite F1 drivers, Mark Webber. I don't know whether I'll actually get to talk to him personally or not, but in case I do, I don't want to look like a middle-aged frump.

Then there's the fact that I weighed myself recently. Ouch! At least that's what the scales were saying ...

So I want to lose a stone (that's 14 pounds to you other Yanks) and tone up some strategic parts of the body before the week of the British Grand Prix. I've started today. I've even found a free (yes, I said free) website that helps keep track of calorie consumption, nutritional data, exercise, etc. Most of them cost money -- I actually paid for a similar one once upon a time!

Fingers crossed! I've got the pedometer on my belt, and the shopping list for Tesco is being written!

Is There Still A Constitution in the USA?

First there was Guantanamo Bay. Lock 'em up with no due process, no trial, no real prison facilities.

Now there's this pastor in North Carolina who is kicking out members of his congregation if they voted for John Kerry in the last presidential election, according to ABC News.

WAYNESVILLE, N.C., May 9, 2005 — For many residents of this hamlet nestled in the Smoky Mountains, nothing is as important as church. That's why nine longtime members of East Waynesville Baptist Church are so devastated after being kicked out of the congregation for, they say, supporting Democrat John Kerry's presidential bid.

They say Pastor Chan Chandler led a charge to boot them from the church because they supported the Massachusetts senator's 2004 campaign.

Edith Nichols, who was ousted from the congregation along with her husband, said the pastor's instructions were clear: "Those that did not support Bush needed to leave, that they were sinners that believed in abortion and all the wrong things."

Lewis Inman, a deacon for 20 years, said being thrown out of his church was worse than when he was laid off from his job of 30 years.

"I'm very, very sad. This has been our church home, our church family," Inman said, his voice trembling. "It's the only church I've ever been in."

Chandler would not speak on the record to ABC News. But in an audiotape of a sermon from last October, he said God had urged him to endorse President Bush as the only truly Christian candidate.

"Now, friend, you know and I know abortion is wrong, there's no way around it. But the question then comes in, in the Baptist Church, how do I vote? Let me just say this right now: If you vote for John Kerry this year, you need to repent or resign," Chandler said on the tape, obtained from the church library by ABC affiliate WLOS in Asheville.

"You have been holding back God's church way too long," he said on the tape. "And I know I may get in trouble for saying that, but just pour it on."

Indeed, though some media reports have repeated Chandler's claim that this was all just a "misunderstanding," the full content of that sermon seems very clear.

"We have a society of preachers who are afraid to get up in the pulpit and speak the truth," Chandler said in the taped sermon. "There are people in the congregations, leaders — deacons, teachers, Sunday school teachers — people who pay their tithe and let the pastor know it very loudly, that tell the pastor he cannot say anything political. He can say that it's all right for you to support someone that does not support abortion. But you can't name names."

"'You start naming names,'" Chandler said he was told, "'we're gonna ask you to leave.' " But that's a cop-out, "hiding behind the pulpit," Chandler claimed.

"We've been catering to Satan, catering to the enemy, we've not been making the stand that God wants us to make," he said. Then he said Kerry voters need to repent or resign.

He said in the sermon that he doesn't care if he offends anyone: "I want to make the Who's Who list in heaven, not yours." Later in the sermon he said, "If you're going to be offended today, take it up with the most high. I am merely the spokesperson. Don't kill the messenger."

Directing his comments to Kerry supporters seated in the pews, Chandler asked: "Why do you support an unbeliever over a man who says, 'This is the day when I saved and now my life changed'? Why do you support an unbeliever over a believer? Let me see, do I support a Christian or a non-Christian? Do I support someone who kills babies or I support someone who says, 'Let's let 'em live.' Do I support someone who says, 'Let's marry the gays,' or someone who says, 'Let's uphold God's law and not'?"

What happened to the ideas of free speech and freedom of religion? What's more, what happened to democracy and the secret ballot? This sounds more like a third world banana republic election where you can be penalised for not voting for the "acceptable" candidate than the United States of America!

Yes, I wasn't able to vote in the recent UK elections, so I can't say much about what happened there (though I'm pleased to report that the MP returned from the constituency I live in is Labour rather than Conservative), but I'm still a US citizen and therefore I can say plenty about so-called men of the cloth who are so hypocritical. It was un-Christian to vote for Kerry? Isn't it un-Christian to pronounce judgement on others and refuse them access to worship?

I don't know if I'm more appalled at the pastor kicking them out or the other members of the congregation actually letting him!

Churches have been a part of political campaigning for as far back as I've been able to discover, at least during my lifetime. But contrast the Republican pastor with one who supported Kerry during the election:

In Philadelphia, right after a pro-Kerry appearance by fellow Massachusetts Democrat Sen. Edward Kennedy, the Rev. Ernest C. Morris Sr. told about 1,500 worshippers, "I can't tell you who to vote for, but I can tell you what my mama told me last week: 'Stay out of the bushes.' "

And in Cincinnati, Temple African Methodist Episcopal Church Pastor Donald H. Jordan Sr. said of Kerry's running mate, former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., "I'm not worried about the law. I'm asking you to support him."

No ultimatums. I'm sure that if any of the members of those churches voted for Bush, they're still members of their respective churches. There was, however, a Catholic bishop who refused to give Communion to Kerry supporters during the election.

If America is slowly ridding itself of the constitution, I'm going to speed up my application to become a British citizen.

Would You Claim These on Your Insurance?

The 10 most bizarre insurance claims

by Ellen Creswell

Most people take out contents insurance to protect their possessions from the unexpected, such as theft or accidents. However, a recent survey has unearthed some of the more unusual reasons people have filed claims on their contents insurance.

A diamond eaten by a small child
A digital camera eaten by a dog
A broken window, caused by a woman who threw a plate at her husband … but missed!
A video recorder damaged when someone tried to put a sandwich in the tape slot
A solitary cufflink
A contact lens which fell from the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
A dining chair that melted in the sun
A pram, fortunately empty, damaged when a woman reversed over it in her car
A batch of 600 cigarettes that were reported ‘lost’
A missing copy of the Bible

Progress ...

I've been working my backside off trying to decorate the boys' room, and I think I'm finally getting somewhere!

Jordan Needs Clothes

Poor Jordan aka Katie Price! Imagine having to go to the British Soap Awards and having absolutely nothing to wear! Thank goodness she found a black bra, some curtains and a few spare belts lying around the house, otherwise she would have had to go naked!



Maybe we should start a fund raiser for her so she doesn't have to dress the baby in tea towels when it arrives.

Battery Shortage

I have a new toy. It's battery operated. I'm using AA batteries up like they're going out of style because I love using this new toy.

This is unusual for me. Batteries usually last ages in my battery-operated things. Not this time. I can't get over it. I use it every day. And the price! Geez, I'm going to go get a couple to keep spare in case this one stops it's buzzing.

How did I ever live without it? It's definitely better at my husband for this particular use. I have to say it makes him obsolete, no doubt about it. He's actually not that bothered either. It means he can spend more time in front of his computer without getting up to see to my needs.

Get your mind out of the gutter. It's my new milk-frother from Ikea.

Things I Learned The Past Few Weeks When I've Had Time To Pay Attention

1. Free snake in selected boxes of "Golden Puffs" cereal! I wonder how it got in there. Fortunately corn snakes are harmless, but I would have done some serious freaking out! (Source: CNN.com)

2. Someone bought Britney's used home pregnancy test. That is gross. The girl is overrated as it is. No way would I want something she'd pissed on. (Source: MSN.co.uk)

3. UK elections are becoming as bad as American elections. Thank heavens they don't announce them until a month or two before one takes place, but they're becoming more concerned with trashing each other than debating the issues. I thought I'd left that behind when I moved away from Texas.

4. People care more about becoming rich in a lawsuit than helping their fellow man. This really bothers me. No. It pisses me off. A man lost his finger in a frozen custard mixer in an accident. A customer found the digit in his frozen custard 30 minutes after it was cut off. Doctors at the hospital treating the employee said that it could be successfully reattached within six hours of the accident. The customer refuses to return in, saying he would be "calling the TV stations and an attorney". The hospital also pleaded with him for its return. No, he said. He was putting it in the freezer until it could be tested for "diseases", but the hospital explained that there would be no problem taking samples before reattachment. Now it's too late. What a bastard. (Source: CNN.com)

5. Either F1 bosses are terrible drivers, or ITV needs a proof-reader. "JPM's accident has been put down to a driving error by his McLaren bosses." (Source: ITV-F1.com)

Diary Entry

6.09 pm I desperately need sleep but don't dare. Last night I fell asleep on the couch watching the election returns at about 11.30. I woke up at 12.30 and went up to bed. Did I get to sleep? Nope. Simon kept rolling over onto my side of the bed and banging me in the head with his elbow. Once I got him to move his arm for about the third or fourth time, he decided to kick me off the bed. Because I have PMT, I was wound up, so I came downstairs at 2.30, wide awake, and tried to settle again on the couch. Did I? Nope. It was after 5.00 this morning before I dropped off, and I was awake at 7.30. I felt absolutely wrecked and couldn't see straight, so I woke Simon up and asked if he could take the boys to school for me. He asked why, and I said I didn't get but a couple of hours. He asked why, and I explained. That pissed him off. I didn't shout, I didn't nag, I just matter-of-factly told him about the head banging and leg kicking and how I couldn't settle downstairs either. Why he was so pissed off I don't know. He said his back hurt. I got ready to take the boys to school -- then Jack came downstairs complaining of a headache. Sure enough, he was running a bit of a fever. Simon didn't believe me. He stormed around the kitchen, shouting at me that it wasn't his fault what he did in his sleep. Well, he's the one who wanted to know why I hadn't slept well! I ended up in tears, I was so tired. Ricky comforted me, being the sweet, kind hearted little boy he is, but he shouldn't have had to do that.

I sorted Ricky out AND I took him to school. No way was I going to let Simon complain about how he'd had to drive a mile to the boys' school. I did okay driving there, but my eyes weren't focusing clearly on the way home. I drove slowly. Probably pissed off a few drivers behind me.

And guess who apologised when I got home? I did. I can't handle tension. Still he's gone around like a bear with a sore head. I stretched out on the couch at 10.30 and watched Friday practice for F1, and I fell asleep at 11.00. I woke up just before 1.00, and Simon had been cleaning the kitchen. Of course, I was made to feel guilty because I'd been sleeping while he'd been working so hard and still had to go out to work this afternoon. It wasn't anything he said, just the atmosphere. So I took Jack and went to Tesco for some shopping, and after I picked Ricky up from school, I started tearing the living room apart, cleaning everything, and putting it all back together again. I've just finished. Three hours -- not bad. Must be a record for me.

When Simon came home for a break, I showed him what I'd done, but he didn't seem very impressed. While he was here, we had a motorcyclist come zooming down the road. He came off his bike in front of our house and broke half our fence into splinters. He was okay though. Fortunately he had on leathers and a helmet. That's why I don't like the kids playing on the front though. Drivers zoom up and down this road, especially the idiot who's already had his license taken off him once for dangerous driving. My ex's cousin was hurt in that accident, as a matter of fact. The idiot driver hasn't been around lately, come to think of it. Maybe he's had his license taken off him permanently.

Voter Apathy

It's the General Election here in the UK today. I've listened to all three of the main parties run on and on and on at the mouths for a couple of months now. Thank heavens I'm not back in the US, where campaigns of this nature usually last at least a year, if not longer.

There's just one problem. I can't vote. I'm an American citizen and not entitled to vote, unless and until I take British citizenship.

I always thought "Europeans" had a much higher voter turnout than the US, but most of the people asked on news reports say they aren't voting. They all have an opinion, and don't hesitate to slag one of the parties (or all of the parties) off, but they refuse to go vote. Why? As one lady who was just on SkyNews said, "They're all as bad as each other". People don't vote because they would rather not vote than give the candidates any serious thought.

Once the election is over, these same people are going to start complaining about how terrible things are, how it's the politicians' fault and how things should be run differently in this country.

What a load of bollocks.

I Need to Stop Clicking on Links!

Today I received an email from "Anthony Coulthard". Well, anyone who knows me knows that I'm absolutely mad about David Coulthard, the Formula One driver, so when I saw that this email was an "invite" to some circle of friends thing, I clicked on it.



The next thing I know, I've accidentally emailed everyone in my address book inviting them to join MY circle of friends. I only realised what I'd done when I immediately had about 15 emails back telling me that some of my emails addresses weren't any good.

The good news is that I've actually had 6 people join my little circle here, so someone out there likes me.

If you'd like to join me, I might as well give you guys the link too! It has a "ban" function if any of you turn out to be a bit weird. Okay, I don't mean weird like me, I mean creepy weird. Well, that's not exactly what I mean either, or I'd have to ban Pete right away!

Now keep your fingers crossed that someone with the same last name as Mark Webber doesn't send me an email asking me to join something!

Diary Entry

1.16 am I'm up late again ... I'm not as achy as I was, even though I did a lot more shovelling and wheelbarrowing, but I'm wound up. Nothing new there. I wish I could just get Simon to accept that I'm a night person. I've been this way all my life, and I doubt it's going to change any time soon.

I'm just printing off some more pictures for my scrapbooking. I've got some cute ones of Malorie I want to put onto a page or two. Embarrass her in front of all Braden's friends she fancies.

I bought Simon a treat today, and it actually made him smile. In fact, I haven't seen him smile like that in ages. I must have done something right!

A Night to Remember? Only I Forgot Some of the Details ...

I got the rest of my pictures, the ones I took with disposible cameras, back today from my trip to Brussels. They were more tame than I remembered, but then again, I spent a lot of time on the white wine. I remembered this picture being taken, because Kerry said, "Come on, Melinda, give him a kiss!" so I did.



And I remember this picture being taken of me and Kelly. So where did him kissing me come from? I'd have remembered that happening, I'm sure!



I actually blushed when I saw the picture. Maybe that's where the rumour got started that we were having an affair. Now I'm positive I don't remember THAT happening. I tend to remember that kind of thing.

Happy Birthday Daniel!

It's my step-son Daniel's 14th birthday today! I'm afraid I don't have any really embarrassing baby and toddler photos of him like I do of the other four, but I still have some that I've taken in the four plus years that I've known him.

Happy Birthday Daniel! Love and Kisses!

Diary Entry

11.19 pm I absolutely ache! I finished digging up the top layer of soil in the back garden where my office is going to be. I've also hauled three wheelbarrows full of sand and dumped them into where the foundation is being layed. Sheesh! I'm not used to manual labour. I think I actually did as much if not more than Simon did. While I was digging up the last squares of sod, he was pulling weeds from flower beds. I shoveled almost all of the sand into the wheelbarrows and moved them round and dumped them (Malorie helped with the sand). I'm supposed to get up early and do more, but I'm just hoping I can move!

Words Hurt

Some people must have so much misery in their own lives that they have to inflict some of their pain onto others. One of my neighbours that I don't even know did that to me today.

She asked my daughter when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, so Malorie said, "She had the last one seven years ago". The neighbour's response was, "Well, she's still fat".

Nice, wasn't she?

Noise

I'm sure my family must be deaf. They're here in the living room with me watching a movie. It's one of those action film with lots of shooting and blowing things up that I'm not bothered about, so I've got my CD player going and my headphones on. Even with the music cranked up as loud as I dare turn it, I can't hear a bloody thing! I asked the hubby to turn the volume down on the telly, and he actually did. I still can't hear a thing. I swear, they must be deaf. It's like being in a movie theatre, and if I were the next door neighbours, I would definitely be complaining! Sheesh!

My Obsession Continues

Continuing from yesterday's dream that Joe Elliott of Def Leppard fell in love with me, and after a discussion with my friend Gary who admits he needs to add some Leppard to his CD collection, I've come up with my all time top Def Leppard top fifteen. How can I narrow it down to just 15? It wasn't easy, believe me! But there are some songs that I just play over and over again, and then let the CD continue to the next track.

15. 'Unbelievable' from X
14. 'Animal' from Hysteria
13. 'Bringin' on the Heartbreak' from High and Dry
12. 'Two Steps Behind' from Retro Active
11. 'Foolin'' from Pyromania
10. 'Gods of War' from Hysteria
9. 'Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad' from Adrenalize
8. 'Promises' from Euphoria
7. 'Paper Sun' from Euphoria
6. 'Slang' from Slang
5. 'Torn to Shreds' from X
4. 'Long Long Way to Go' from X
3. 'Miss You In a Heartbeat' from Retro Active
2. 'Now' from X
and...
1. 'Tonight' from Adrenalize

I could keep going and going ... Their new CD comes out soon! I guess I better start hinting to people soon that it would be such a nice present!

Googlisms

There's a site on Google where you can type in your name and it comes up with the "google" meaning of your name. I typed in mine and got:

melinda is just yours (And whose might that be?)
melinda is thirty (I'll take it!)
melinda is a couch potato (I don't like the couch much. The computer chair is better)
melinda is just yours tonight (At least we're narrowing it down a bit)
melinda is just yours tonight tattu slut with massive (Fill in the blanks)
melinda is magic at lady luck (So why can't I win the lottery?)
melinda is just yours tonight holy heavy hangers sexy lady network japanese schoolgirls (This is getting too kinky)
melinda is that one (Hey, it's "That Girl")
melinda is obsessed with micky dolenz (I actually met him and got his autograph once, but I gave it to my sister)
melinda is rescuing an unwed mother (Geez, I'm a saint and didn't know it)
melinda is a housewife/homemaker first (I'm a crap housewife and homemaker. Wife and mother I can do, but I'm no domestic goddess)
melinda is back (And here to stay!)
melinda is quite cute (*blush*)
melinda is worn slap out and still a bite mad (A bite mad or a bit mad? I'm beyond a bit mad, believe me)
melinda is just waiting (And getting tired of it too)
melinda is a member of the american bar association (Will they take me with an English law degree?)
melinda is great at doing flips (I'm a bit overweight to be flipping much, but I'll give anything a try once)
melinda is a good alternative (... to your garden variety lunatic)
melinda is cold and calculating (*insert evil laughter*)
melinda is a nerdette (That's anorak to you!)
melinda is just yours tonight young guy licking hot ... (I'll leave that to your imagination!)
melinda is still worried (Nuclear war, the national debt, teenage pregnancy, what's not to worry about?)
melinda is awakened from a nap by the doorbell (Damn! And I was having another awedsome dream about Mark Webber in a speedo!)
melinda is an internationally known teacher and author (Autographs after my next lecture)
melinda is so young (So-so)
melinda is a midwest farmer's daughter (I'm a southern computer geek's daughter actually)
melinda is the personification of sweetness (another *blush*)
melinda is one of the most glorious gothic vampires on the web (I vant to drink your blood!)
melinda is at her best (... when she's had a few Bailey's on ice)
melinda is working on her first book (Melinda will always be working on her first book because the damn thing doesn't seem to want to write itself!)
melinda is still building (... the office in the back garden that will save her sanity)
melinda is currently writing a memoir on her experiences growing up belly dancing in greece (Tis why I had my belly button pierced. Somewhere to hang all those veils.)
melinda is his number one suspect (No shit Sherlock)
melinda is shy and quiet (Who told you?)
melinda is now five feet (And four inches! Don't forget the four inches! They're not much, but they're mine!)
melinda is different (And proud of it!)
melinda is forever writing the never ending story (Which is another reason why I'm still working on my first book, it just never ends)
melinda is made of tea (Earl Grey? Camomile?)
melinda is a different young lady today than she was three years ago (Yes, I'm an older and more insane young lady)
melinda is working a ridiculous amount of hours (I need a holiday)
melinda is articulate and displays a maturity which belies her age (I act older than my years? Geez, I must act geriatric!)

So I did my husband's and got:

simon is the best or the happy prozzak page (Is that supposed to be Prozac? Does this mean he's the best when he's on Prozac?)
simon is being transformed ? (Geez, into what? I've only just trained him!)
simon is back (Yeah, he finished work about five hours ago)
simon is worthy of your vote (So vote as many times as you can!)
simon is surprisingly strong (For someone with a back made of glass)
simon is a god (Shhhhhhhhh! Don't tell him!)
simon is fighting for his life (With a wife like me? Not surprising!)
simon is smudge's brother (I thought he was Donna, Christian, Dean and Robert's brother? Why haven't I met Smudge?)
simon is in the room (No he isn't, unless he's hiding under my desk, and believe me, this is a tiny desk!)
simon is still at play (And he didn't invite me.)
simon is ill (Well, that's normal)
simon is easy (Yep, I managed to get him on the first date!)
simon is geboren deel twee (any translations?)
simon is not like austin powers (Thank goodness!)
simon is like austin powers (Make up your mind!)
simon is funny (When he's speaking to me)
simon is blessed and hand the cross back (Pontius Pilate wants to use it again.)
simon is a happy boy (I say that about the dog when he's wanting to hump someone's leg)
simon is laying hands on this indian man (Hey, if he wants the Indian man, that's fine by me. I won't stand in his way!)
simon is a doofus candidate (Or he would be if he had the slightest interest in politics, which he doesn't)
simon is missing in a layer of the abyss (I kept telling him to take a map! Men just refuse to ask for directions!)
simon is terug (Backwards that's "guret", which still means nothing to me)
simon is the gladiator (All Hail, Gladiator Simon. He doesn't look anything like Russell Crowe though)
simon is hypocrital at times (Well, as long as he doesn't cut up my credit card, I'm okay with that)
simon is a god look (Geez, he's going to have a major ego problem if you keep telling him that!)
simon is much more than a flatmate (Especially once I pumped him up. Get it? Flat mate? Pumped up? Never mind)
simon is enough of a kitten that his purrsonality (Simon the Sex Kitten. Scary)
simon is still hot (I told him to go cool off in the shower, but he won't get off the computer)
simon is a rock band and you're not (It's a shame he's not Def Leppard)
simon is a killer on the loose (And I keep turning my back? It's a wonder I'm not buried in the back garden!)
simon is not a well teddy (Or a happy bunny either)
simon is here (Again?)
simon is home (I noticed when he walked in and said "Hi, I'm home")
simon is quick with his jab (And I'm quicker with my duck)
simon is a megamillionaire (So why am I building an office out back when I can have men in to do it for me? What a cheap skate!)
simon is not only a talented singer (... he's a raving maniac!)
simon is so simple and so small in fact that it could be built to fill up less space than a grocery (Well, he keeps telling me he's simple, but he's taller than me, and yes, he does take up much less room than a grocery)
simon is closer to god or simon has to rise above the rest of the world (Please tell me he doesn't want to be the next David Koresh!)
simon is blessed and hand the cross back to jesus (He swears a lot for a blessed one)
simon is our first dog (Is that why it smells like dog shit in here?)
simon is kimberly (Bloody hell ... Why am I always the last to know?)
simon is not a walrus (I thought his teeth looked a bit small)
simon is amazed he could dance on stilts like stickney (I'm amazed he'd even try to dance while sober. He usually only wants to dance while pissed)
simon is a guy who just has too much time on his hands and chooses to spend it bothering people through the mail (The things he gets up to while I'm at university!)
simon is even stronger and more featured filled than before (I'm always up for new features!)
simon is not so bad (Nah, I've known worse!)
simon is a free swinger who walked just 15 times in 256 (I can't even get up to walk around the corner to the shop!)
simon is not a politician ? yet ? not even a citizen (I can't get him to vote either)
simon is a conservative (He bloody well better not be! I'd never marry a conservative! Yuck, phewy!)
simon is told that jack has been put in charge of the website and simon is in charge of the genetic research (So what are Simon and Jack trying to clone? I didn't even know Jack knew html since he's only 7!)
simon is back in chalk drawing land and is talking to the chalk land children about cars but they have never seen (And they'll all ride away to the chalk fairy land where they'll eat chalk ice cream and collect chalk seashells)

So I tried my ex-husbands and got this for the second one. I'm sure he'll get a laugh out of them and appreciate the humour, especially since I didn't come up with these myself:

richard is a tart (I won't say it.)
richard is a trip (An acid trip?)
richard is caught spamming (Ha! I knew it was him!)
richard is escorted by secretary (He's run off with his secretary?)
richard is a very sexy (Harrump!)
richard is dead (Hey, I didn't come up with this!)
richard is a card carrying homo (Oops!)
richard is innocent (... until proven guilty in a court of law. I watch too much "Law and Order")
richard is guilty (Wow, the jury came back fast!)
richard is a knight to remember (And he always liked calling his mother a dragon, that's fitting)
richard is gone (Where?)
richard is no sissy (I never said he was)
richard is an overpopulation doomsayer (He needs to be quiet then)
richard is right (He always thinks he is anyway!)
richard is back (He wasn't gone long then)
richard is feeling very tired these days (He needs vitamins)
richard is portrayed as a man whose ideals were too pure for the society he inhabited (Now, I think he'll agree that "pure" is not a word often associated with him)
richard is seen as god's representative on earth and only richard (What is it with the men being god's and god's representatives stuff? Sheesh!)
richard is that he is not really a man of action; he confronts and deals with difficulties by internalising (He shouts a lot for a guy who internalises everything)
richard is also considered as a reincarnation of machiaveli (So true!)
richard is certainly challenging (I can't disagree with that)
richard is visited by the sundry ghosts of the people he has slain (Shit! He's slain people? I was lucky to get out alive then!)

I'm not sure my first husband has as much of a sense of humour, but what the hell:

drew is a fag (I didn't write these, honest!)
drew is gone (Well, he's never been here to start with)
drew is on crack (A crack in the pavement? That used to mean "break your mother's back" when I was a kid)
drew is a bitch (Aren't we all?)
drew is right (Hmmmm, debatable)
drew is copyrighted and trademarked by simon & schuster inc (No wonder I never got any royalties)
drew is on the case (It's easier to lock when the suitcase is that stuffed full of crap)
drew is a highly selective (... what? someone give me a clue!)
drew is a city boy at heart (So why's he living in the country?)
drew is excited when kate finally realizes that she is ready to have sex with him (I didn't really want to know that)
drew is reduced to selling men's underwear after lord mercer and milan discover their accountants (... are pilfering from the satin undie collection!)
drew is given to repeating to impressionable callers the dogma that has come to represent the psychiatric community (So look out, Jehovah's Witnesses!)
drew is married and has triplets (Someone better tell the kids they have three new siblings!)
drew is half the boy he used to be (And twice the man he never was)
drew is explicit erotic piercing (Too kinky, not his style)
drew is usually wrong (Aren't all ex-husbands? Ooops! Sorry Gary!)
drew is trying to learn this (I don't think he'll ever learn he's usually wrong)
drew is naked under his trench coat (I didn't want to know that either)
drew is a very innovative farmer (Goats with curly hair)

Of course, I've editted it leaving all the interesting and best bits in, but that's what ex-wives are for. Obviously I've made sure that no last names or locations are mentioned for their sanity.

Happy Birthday Braden!

It's my oldest son Braden's birthday today. I can't believe he's 15. Then again, he already towers over me, and he does seem to be very mature for his age, so sometimes I think he's older than his years.

And since I posted some embarrassing pictures of Malorie on her birthday, I decided to do the same to "Billy Bubba"!

He was a scrawny little newborn, and by the time he came home from the hospital at two days old, he looked like a little lemon because he was jaundiced!

But he soon blew up like my own little Michelin man!

He's always had that mischievious twinkle in his eye ...

And a great fashion sense. Who else could carry off wearing Barney underwear with such style?

And blue eyes that say butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

I have plenty more embarrassing photos, but I have to save some for next year, so I'll close with one of my favourites. My tired little soldier who couldn't even be bothered to lie down before dropping off to sleep!

Happy Birthday Braden!

I love you!