More Neighbours from Hell

The strange family around the corner I mentioned in my last post on my neighbours don't seem so quirky anymore. They have always been troubled, but now I'm a rat's whisker away from calling Social Services to come investigate.

This is not your traditional family. The mother, as I mentioned before, is my best friend's husband's ex-wife. I call her "MeatLoaf" because she looks like the singer. Her oldest child is from that marriage. He's 16, the same as my daughter. After their marriage broke up, she had her oldest daughter with one bloke, then moved in with the guy who lives there now, Vince. They had two or three more little girls (I'm not sure how many there are, to be honest!). But MeatLoaf has her own house at the other end of the estate, and Vince lives around the corner with all four or five of the kids, including the two who aren't his biologically.

Vince has always done his best, in a odd sort of way, but he is so bullied by MeatLoaf it's unbelievable. Now she has evidently kicked him out of his house! He's moved in with his parents on the coast, and the 16-year-old son is in charge of the girls. MeatLoaf won't take responsibility for them because she is more interested in her beer than anything else.

I'm trying to find out what of this is true and what is neighbourhood gossip because if she has left a 16-year-old in charge of his younger sisters, Social Services definitely needs to get involved. They should probably be involved anyway, if they aren't already.

I definitely need to go buy a couple of lottery tickets for tonight's draw. That isolated house somewhere in the countryside is becoming an obsession with me!

Oh Puh-Leeze!

Where have all the classy dressers disappeared to?





They weren't at the MTV awards, apparently.

Pictures from Sky Showbiz: Bad Fashion at MTV Awards

Wedding Farce

This isn't going to be a wedding. It's a money making gimmick and publicity stunt.

Jordan has stopped any of fiance Peter Andre's old flames from coming along to their forthcoming wedding.

"I've banned a couple of people - girls who Pete has been with," she said.

"I said: 'There's no way they're coming'. I mean, I'm not inviting anyone I've been with," the Daily Mirror reports her as saying.

That means Dwight Yorke, the father of Jordan's eldest son Harvey, won't be making it along to the bash.

Jordan and former pop star Peter, who met on the TV show I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! early last year, will get married at Highclere Castle in Newbury, Berkshire on September 10th.

Bridesmaids will include Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding, ex-pop singer Kerry Katona and singer Charlotte Church, who is due to sing at the event.

Jordan has invited a raft of celebrities to the event, including Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney and girlfriend Coleen McLoughlin, model Rachel Hunter and illusionist Uri Geller.

The couple have signed deals with OK! Magazine and ITV which is expected to net the couple £2m.

The OK! deal depends on there being no pictures published before the magazine hits the shelves - which means all guests will be frisked before attending the event, and any cameras or camera-phones confiscated.

Jordan, 27, has said she wants to get in the record books by having the longest train on her dress - the current record is 2,545ft, held by a Dutch bride.

The wedding cake will be a replica of Jordan's 35FF breasts- and cake makers Choccywoccydoodah have been working on a secret recipe to make sure the cake doesn't sag in the middle...

Source: Sky Showbiz

One Stone Gone, Three More To Go!

I've lost a stone since starting on Weight Watchers!

Note: Fourteen pounds equals one stone. People usually give their weight in stones and pounds in the UK, so I weigh 12 stone 5 pounds now, and I weighed 13 stone 5.5 pounds when I started.

And just to confuse things further, I worked it out in kilograms, too!

Neighbours from Hell

This used to be such a quiet neighbourhood. Most of my neighbours are either elderly or couples with young children. We have the strange family around the corner who are good for some gossip (especially since the woman is my best friend's husband's ex-wife), but they mostly keep to themselves and don't bother anyone else.

But now we have new neighbours across the street. The rumour is that they used to live at the other end of the estate but were kicked out of their council house because there had been so many complaints against them. Now they're in a rented privately-owned house, and they're still not the greatest neighbours!

Within a week of moving in, the woman who lives there was taken away in a police car. I was sitting on my couch watching an F1 race, and I noticed police cars in front of their house. A couple and a teenage girl got out of their car, the girl holding her face and crying, as if she'd been hit, and she was pointing at the woman. The police went into the house for a while, then they came out with the woman, put her in the back of their car, and left.

They are always sitting in the front of the house on the doorstep, where their front garden looks like a miniature Disney World with bouncy castles and paddling pools. It's like watching the queen presiding over the neighbourhood.

But that's not the worst of it. They've installed a spot light with a motion sensor that switches it on every time a car drives past. And the spot light is so bright, it lights up my living room, shining directly towards my couch. My couch has been there for three years, and now if I want to sit on it to watch telly, I have to either suffer a blinding light every two minutes or shut my curtains. I shouldn't have to shut my curtains to enjoy my living room!

Still, this woman doesn't seem to be the kind of person you can just walk up to and say "Excuse me, can you do something about that light?" I'm not going to kiss her ass either. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Those aren't the worst neighbours we have either. Several years ago when we lived in Texas, my ex-husband got a phone call from his parents informing him that his cousin had been seriously injured in a car accident where the driver had run off leaving his friends for dead. Fortunately his cousin survived, and the idiot had his license taken away.

Only temporarily though. Last year he moved onto our estate, and they gave him his license back. I didn't let my younger two kids outside unless it was on the back garden because he drove up and down our road so fast I was scared he would lose control of his car. That's exactly what happened, but luckily he did it somewhere else because we saw his car come back on the back of a lorry in pieces. Either he toned it down a bit, or he lost his license again.

Yesterday, the police came for him again. This time it was a drugs bust, and he's been taken away. It even made the regional news. He'd been dealing to kids as well, so I hope they keep him locked up for a long time. I'm sure we'll know what happens to him because Simon's cousin lives with a man whose wife left him for the drug-dealing idiot, and they live down the road from us, not far from said drug-dealing idiot!

I have got to win the lottery. Then I can buy a house, or have one built, somewhere where I have no close neighbours! I'm a people person. I love having people come see me, like my friends who live around the corner, but the idea of solitude away from neighbours from hell suddenly seems irresistible! No wonder I've started spending so much time in wide open spaces where you come across few people, like on the moors or out of the way public footpaths!

I Goofed!

Me and my bright ideas ...

The weather was so nice today, I decided to take a walk on some of the public footpaths around my house. I hiked up to Poolsbrook Country Park, then over to Staveley. So far so good. I even had a bit of "me" time, chilling out in a cafe with a fresh fruit salad and a Diet Coke.

Then I had the bright idea of taking the Trans Pennine Trail and old Chesterfield canal towpath to get home. Only I missed where the two forked away from each other, and I ended up going way out of the way before I finally decided to turn around and retrace my steps. At one point I could even see my house, but I couldn't figure out a direct route to get home over all those fields.

Silly me. Now I'm wrecked, I pulled a muscle in my hip, and I have a blister on the bottom of my foot. How did I know I'd need an Ordnance Survey map to get home!

New Rules for Pub-goers

Suddenly, I wish I could introduce legislation and push it through Parliament. I went out tonight, just around one of the local villages, and I was appalled by some of the things I saw. Forget about debates about relaxing pub hours or whether smoking should be banned in pubs. I would concentrate on things that were a little more basic, like decency, taste and manners.

It's amazing how many of these things I've noticed before, but tonight I was designated driver and stuck to Diet Pepsi. Perhaps that's the reason the things I've noticed in the past actually stayed with me long after I got into the car and drove home. So here we go:

1. Girls, if you're going to wear hip-hugging skin-tight skirts or jeans, please make sure your jelly bellies are tucked into your clothing. It is not attractive to see wobbly bits hanging over the edge, bobbing up and down while you dance. I have these wobbly bits, just like you, and you don't see me exposing them. Oh, and if you insist on wearing the hip-hugging skin-tight skirts or jeans, it's even less attractive to see your knickers hanging out the back.

2. If you're young (let's qualify that as under 25) and are considered to be handsome/beautiful, it does not give you carte blanche to treat everyone over the age of 30 who is of average appearance like dirt. If you slosh my Diet Pepsi down the front of my new white top while trying to stick your tits out and show some poor bloke that your talents are contained entirely in your bra, at least apologise to me. Just because I'm over 30 and of average appearance does not mean I am not worthy. And remember, you might not believe it now, but one day you will be my age and your looks will be a distant memory.

3. Being drunk does not make you excel at dancing or karaoke. It makes you clumsy on the dance floor (leading to bruises on my feet), and it makes you even more tone deaf (leading to me cringing at every sour note you sing).

4. Big tits do not give you the right of way when negotiating your way through crowded pubs. This is a ploy used mainly by women over 40 to draw attention to themselves. If I wished I had big tits, I would probably feel inadequate, but I'm very satisfied with my 36Cs, and I find that saying "Sorry" or "Pardon me" gets me through a crowd without trying to poke someone's eyes out.

5. Drunk to the point of spewing all over the floor/pavement is not attractive. I won't elaborate any further. I know I have been guilty of this in the past myself, so I speak from experience, both as the spew-ee and the one witnessing the spewing.

I'm supposed to go out next Sunday to the same village, only not as the designated driver. However, it might be worth it to volunteer to do it again, not only to keep the alcohol from turning me into one of the idiots amongst pubs full of idiots, but so I can continue my observations into the typical English lager lout. And lout-ess.

Deja Vu!

I've been going through some of my pictures on my hard drive, and I found a picture of Malorie and Braden on some rocks that was taken in 1998. I couldn't remember where the picture was taken, but the background looked familiar. When I looked at some of the pictures I took when I went out with Ricky and Jack a few weeks ago, I realised where it was! They were on Owler Tor in the Peak District.

I'm a Wreck!

I'd love to get a good night's sleep, or even a decent afternoon nap, but no such luck. The dog woke me up at 5.00 this morning, and I had trouble settling back to sleep after that! I don't know why he does it because he never seems to need to go out during the day but is desperate to go between 3.00 and 5.00 am!

And I still dragged Braden and his friend Skinner out for another walk, this time the four mile hike we intended to do yesterday before the rain ruled it out. Malorie refused to go and claimed that she wanted to stay home and do some chores for me, like unloading and loading the dishwasher. Instead, she sat on her computer all day playing "The Sims". I finally made her come off it at 10.00 this evening.

Braden has taken to arguing with everything I say. He doesn't argue like most people argue though. He does it with snappy come-backs. I wonder who he gets that from. *adjusts halo* He did pick the wrong day to try to be witty with me though. It's PMT time, and instead of ignoring him, I told him I'd go by myself and burst into tears. That bothered him, and suddenly he was ready to go.

The walk itself was really nice. It was warm outside, but cloudy so it didn't get too hot, and I only had to tell the boys off once when they decided to climb on a rock that was part of a scheduled monument. Not bad for a day out with two teenagers.

Of course, I came home expecting Simon to be at work, but instead he was sitting on his computer, too, right where I left him! As tight as money is, that really pissed me off. He said it was too miserable outside, but he hadn't even set foot outside! I told him it was lovely and warm.

He had been offered a chance to take his ice cream van to a wedding reception in Hathersage, and when we were driving out to the Peak District, we passed it. Oh my god. I wish he'd taken the gig. Those people had some money, judging by the size of the marquee! I think he doesn't want to work anymore, but he doesn't want to sell the van either because it'll look like he's a failure to his dad and step-mother.

Anyway, I came home with both teenagers, having resisted the temptation to leave them on top of a tor or toss them in the Burbage Brook, and tried to take a nap. Unfortunately my daughter had the giggles for three hours straight.

Now Simon's still on his computer, Malorie is still giggling, and Braden is on the X-Box with Daniel. For some reason I have the urge to scream at them all but, being the nice person I am, I'll resist that temptation and blog instead.

Am I Really His Mother?

I said, "Sit on that rock so I can take your picture, Braden". Of course, he can't just sit on the rock ...  

My Kids Are Puddled

I took Malorie, Braden and Braden's friend Skinner out for a hill walk today, and they demonstrated just how weird they are ...


Malorie is obsessed with sheep


Braden tried using his sister as a trampoline


I hope Braden and Skinner are exhausted because I can't run up hills like that


Oh geez ...

Congratulations to My Daughter!

Well done Malorie! She got the results from her GCSE's today, and while they weren't as good as she was expecting, she tried her hardest. They were good enough that she was able to achieve her goal, of being accepted into the Sixth Form at the school she's attended since January 2001. She's going to do an A-level in Health and Social Care.

I even threw her a little family party tonight, which almost made her cry.

(Please ignore the lack of tiles on the walls in the kitchen. I haven't bought them yet!)

More Weird Dreams

I can't decide if I'm glad I woke up or not. I was dreaming of a male friend, when he suddenly grabbed hold of me and started kissing me! I was stunned in my dream, and even more stunned when I woke up (thanks to the stupid dog wanting to go out at 5.30 am!) and remembered dreaming about him.

Still, he is very good looking. At least I have great taste when I'm dreaming!

No Weekly Weigh In

I didn't go to Weight Watchers yesterday because I was at Gatwick, so I haven't got a clue what progress I made last week. I did find a picture of me that I didn't know Simon had taken, and I can see a bit of a difference from when I started the diet! I'll put a kind of "before" and "during" up for comparison. Don't laugh -- I realise I'm not photogenic!


That's me in the pink, second from the left, two days after I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting


That's me nine days ago, after exerting myself hill walking. I've still got a ways to go, but there's a difference!

Whatever Happened To ...

Lately, I don't know why, perhaps it's "old age", but I've been wondering what on earth happened to people I've come across in my lifetime. I've been lucky in that a lot of my old friends are connected to the internet, so I keep in touch as much as possible. Still, there are those who seem to have just disappeared ...

Like, whatever happened to my second "proper" boyfriend, Darren Hodge? We used to work together at a fast food place called Del Taco in my hometown of Garland, Texas, during the summer of 1984, just before my senior year. That was back in the days when I went by my middle name, so I was "Kaye Rice" then. We started going steady soon after I started working there (though I actually had a crush on another guy who worked with us, Leonard Ashton), and we broke up before school started again in August.

I can remember how, compared to the guys I knew at North Garland High School, Darren was a "bad boy" by my parents' standards. He had dropped out of high school, and he smoked. Definitely not what my parents had in mind, but they never told me I couldn't see him. Reverse psychology, I suppose. Forbid her to see him and she'll work twice as hard to make sure she does!

One memory I have of him is when he and a friend showed up really late at night, after my parents had gone to bed, and I met him round the side of the house where there was no screen on the bathroom window. I guess I could have sneaked out and probably would have gotten away with it, but instead I leaned out the window, with my knees on the toilet, so we could make out.

But we broke up eventually, probably because I wasn't ready to lose my virginity just yet. It does make me wonder where I would be today if I had slept with him! I probably wouldn't have married my first husband -- he had a thing about "used" women, but that's another story.

They're Back!

I picked my two bigger babies up from Gatwick Airport this morning. They look very well, and after a while Malorie even chilled out and started laughing. We stopped for a picnic by the Thames outside Hampton Court Palace. We would have gone on the tour of the palace because it's one of my favourite tourist spots, but it just cost too much money. Besides, we were wrecked -- Malorie and Braden from jet lag, and Simon and myself from not sleeping all night.

We did have a real laugh while we were walking around the shops near the palace. I was absolutely bursting for a pee, and we looked everywhere for a public loo. There wasn't one at the train station, and the only one I knew of was in Hampton Court's grounds, but I didn't realise they were open yet. As I was standing on the corner crossing the road back to the palace, I said, "I need the toilet now!" Suddenly a truck pulled up behind me pulling a portable ladies room! Even Malorie had to laugh her head off at that one!

Sleeplessness

I hate the evening before I have to go to Gatwick. I never can get to sleep for more than an hour or two, which means I'm going to be wrecked when it's time to go. I'll be even worse on the drive back. And I was hoping to do some sightseeing on the way home for a change.

Fortunately Simon is going with me, and he seems to be snoring his head off upstairs. In that case, he can do most of the driving while I nap.

Kids!

Sometimes I wonder what it takes to get through to my kids. From the sound of it, one thing: money.

Malorie and Braden have been at their dad's house in Texas for the past month, and yesterday they were dropped off at my parents' house to get ready for the trip home to England. I spoke to them earlier today, and neither one of them sounded bothered about me or their home whatsoever! Malorie especially let it be known that she didn't want to come back because, according to her, she's met up with some friends from the brief time she lived in Texas with her dad in 2000 (he refused to send them back after their summer visit, and I had to take him to court, where the judge immediately ordered him to return them but it took five months). She informed me that she's come to realise that her friends here are "childish".

Now that's the pot calling the kettle black! She might be 16, but she has always acted younger than her years. I couldn't resist saying, "That might be true, but maybe if you started fancying boys your age or older instead of ones two or three years younger than you, and if you started hanging around with kids your age instead of younger ones, they wouldn't seem so childish!"

But the corker was how she has been spoiled by her dad, with him giving her money to do "lots and lots of shopping". The kids don't go without here, but they're not spoiled. I have been trying to teach them to work for their money. Besides, I always thought the most important way to show someone you loved them was through actions. Evidently I was wrong. The true way is with cold hard cash. (Note: that last sentence should be read with sarcasm.)

Unfortunately, where Malorie is concerned, the message has been lost. She once informed me that when she turns 18, she's going to move in with her dad. Why? He said he'd buy her a new car if she did. I told her that's fine by me, but when she turns 18, she better get him to send her the money for a plane ticket because I'm not paying. She couldn't understand that. She thought I'd just hand over the money to fly her to Texas!

Braden isn't as bad, but he still sounded as excited to speak to me as he would be to speak to an insurance salesman on the phone.

Enough of a tirade. I have to try and get some rest before leaving in the middle of the night to pick them up from Gatwick Airport. That's not exactly a short run down the motorway, but even that doesn't prove my love.

A "Normal" Day

I wish I could say today had been an extraordinary day, one worth a long and interesting blog post, but it hasn't been. It's been an ordinary day. But I'm still going to write a long blog post because I feel like it.

I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I watched television. I did get to speak to Ricky since the boys are back from their holiday in Tenerife. It was almost 1.00, and Jack was still asleep, so I called him back later this afternoon to speak to him. Lazy little boy. I wonder where he gets that sleeping late thing.

The Turkish Grand Prix was really entertaining, but I was devastated and all the bad luck Mark Webber had! Both he and his Williams teammate Nick Heidfeld had two sudden right rear tyre blow outs, plus Mark lost his front wing when Michael Schumacher didn't see him on one of the corners. Now Mark will the best first driver out in qualifying for the Italian Grand Prix.

During the race I wished several times I could understand German because ITV does nothing but gush and drool over Jenson Button, and I'm very annoyed with Button because I feel his current contract situation shows a lack of integrity and a great deal of selfishness. I used to like him a lot, and now I'm catching a lot of flack because I don't support him like I used to. Simon in particular isn't happy with me. And the "you have to support him because he's British" doesn't work with me. I'm not British. Yes I live in England, but if I have to pick a British driver to support, I'll stick with David Coulthard, just like I always have.

After the race, Simon decided he was going to skip work today and help me in the front garden. Lately it's looked more like a small meadow than a lawn. I mowed, pulled weeds and trimmed rose bushes until the sound of the dog crying from not being allowed on the front garden drove me nuts and I decided to take him for a walk.

Bad idea.

There was a guy walking three Husky-type dogs. Mitch decided to chase the dogs. I grabbed his lead half-way down to pull him back. Now I have second degree rope burns on my left hand. Thank goodness Daniel was with me. He took over dog duty.

I did some one-handed gardening and fence painting when we got back to the house (after performing First Aid on my poor hand). Afterwards we took Daniel home, and on the way back we decided to call at a chip shop for dinner. The first chippy didn't have any chicken kebab, which is what I wanted because it's good when you're counting points on Weight Watchers. The second, third and fourth chippies were closed early for Sunday night. The fifth had a queue out the door, but we stuck in out.

Like I said. Ordinary day.

The Best Laid Plans

It's amazing how the best laid plans, no matter how last minute they might be, can be ruined by a simple fact that's overlooked. That happens more often with the plans are last minute, but they seem to happen to me regardless of how far in advance I try to arrange things.

Like last year when I bought the tickets for myself, Simon, Malorie and Braden to go to the British Grand Prix. I checked with the kids that there was nothing major happening at school because we were going down to Silverstone in the caravan on the Thursday morning and staying until Monday at noon. There were no conflicts. Or so I was told.

Until three weeks before the race weekend. Malorie informed me that the race weekend fell smack dab in the middle of her two weeks' work experience. I was very lucky in that my best friend offered to let Malorie stay with her, and my step-son went with us in her place.

Today I tried to make plans for picking Malorie and Braden up from Gatwick on Tuesday. I've always regretted that it's such a long drive down there just to pick them up (or drop them off as I did earlier this summer) without seeing some of the sights. Ever since they left for Texas last month I've tried to make plans to stop at Hampton Court Palace on the way back this time. It's been years since I've been there, and Simon, Malorie and Braden have never been.

Then Simon came up with the idea that we find a hotel somewhere in that area for Monday night. I found a deal on a website for one of the major chains of hotels, and everything seemed perfect. No leaving our house in the middle of the night to get to Gatwick in time for the kids' 7.20 a.m. arrival. We'd have time to take the kids back to the hotel so they could have a wash after their long flight.

That's when Simon remembered that detail that threw all the plans into the trash can.

The dog.

Well crap.

My Weird Dreams

I've always had very unusual and vivid dreams, and last night was no exception. Last night's was actually very funny, and it was so realistic I wasn't sure what happened when I woke up.

I was on holiday somewhere and ran into Steve Irwin -- you know, the Crocodile Hunter. Evidently we hit it off quite well, and the next thing I knew, there was a picture of us on the front page of one of the tabloids snogging!

That still wasn't as good as the dream I had once where I went on a romantic picnic with Mark Webber. I was thoroughly upset when I woke up from that one!

Hey, what is it with me and famous Aussies? Thank goodness those are the only two I really know of, and I have had similar dreams with other famous (and not so famous) people in them. I'm still having a laugh at the Steve Irwin dream though!

Oh What a Night!

I never really think about just who is reading my blog until someone startles me by saying "Oh yeah, I read that on your blog!" It's almost like having my own private audience in a way, but it's also a bit strange. Tonight I went out with a group of girls to several pubs, and the things we saw were so strange Michelle and Shelly said they bet they'd be reading about them on my blog tomorrow!

You know, I hadn't thought about posting what I'd seen, but it wasn't a bad idea! Not when you consider it wasn't an ordinary evening by anyone's standards. At least not anyone I know!

One of the pubs has installed a pole for pole dancing. Now I'll admit, I've always wanted to learn to pole dance, but I don't think I could possibly get drunk enough to dance on it in front of a pub full of strangers, not even having danced when I was younger! It's a different kind of dancing anyway. But two from our group gave it a go. One of them even lost her top in the process, but the DJ just said that earned her a bonus point. There's fun, and then there's losing your dignity.

I also saw simulated sex on the pavement. That was hilarious, and I'm sure Tracey really enjoyed herself! I don't know who the guy was, but fortunately she did. It was because of that the subject of my blog came up, and I promised Tracey that by tomorrow morning, she would be on the internet! It's just a shame I don't have photos. No clothes were removed in the process though. That would have made things more interesting, but it might have led to arrests, and that wouldn't have been good.

Clowne has a reputation for bad behaviour on Friday nights, and tonight was no different, thanks to one complete idiot. The guy must have been only 16 or 17, or at least he looked that young, and the bouncers of the most popular pub, the Angel, wouldn't let him in. He responded by throwing their patio furniture around, not bothering to remove the glass pint glasses before he did. Then he jumped the stone wall around the pub and threw himself in front of an articulated lorry! Thank god the driver had slowed down to take the corner because it meant he was able to stop. I just stood there, my eyes glued to it, like I was watching a train wreck because I couldn't believe what was happening.

The idiot didn't stop there. He continued down the pavement and tried to slam his head through the plate glass window of an empty shop. I hope that gave him a headache, and I had hoped at the time that it would sober him up a bit.

It didn't. He came back to the Angel a little later on, this time with a board with nails sticking out of it under his shirt. I don't know what he had planned. Probably his intention was to hit any one of the bouncers who refused to let him in. If he had made it in with that board, there could have been serious trouble because by that time the Angel was so packed, it was hard to breathe, let alone move around with a weapon. That's why we were standing outside.

The bouncer was on to him, however, and the last we saw of the idiot, he was being escorted off the premises by the scruff of the neck. Usually on Friday nights, there are multiple police units parked outside the Angel just in case there's trouble. Tonight there wasn't a single officer until long after the trouble was over.

I was happy to see my friend Maria's daughter Lynette though! I used to live across the road from them when I first moved to this area, and I do miss that family. I'm horrible about going to see people even though I know I should. And I made sure Simon knew that if he saw lipstick on my cheek, it was from Lynette!

And of course, I can't go without mentioning Grandad John! He's Allan's ex-brother-in-law and a neighbour of mine. His son Sean has recently become a dad, and John proudly showed off pictures of his new little grandson on his mobile phone. Rightly so. I would do the same (though I'm hoping Malorie and Braden give me a little more time before I become "Granny Melinda"!). It's a bit strange thinking of Sean as a dad though, after the soap opera Michelle, Shelly and I went through with him and an evil bitch last year ... but that's another story.

So much for the diet! I completely blew it, but luckily I'd saved up some points on my Weight Watchers because we were originally planning to go out tomorrow night. I'll just do some extra exercise this week. And I have to say, that bite of Shelly's burger was gorgeous!

So, guys, I've blogged ... I don't know how much sense it made because I'm still a bit dizzy from my VKs, but I was determined to get this online before morning!

Change of Template

I know I changed my blog template yesterday, but I was told that the colours didn't look right, so yes, I've changed it for a second time in 24 hours. If it doesn't look right yet again, I think I'll just throw the computer out the window and go back to paper journalling.

Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration ...

Blogger for Word

I came across a link on the Blogger Dashboard to “something called Blogger for Word, and I thought I’d give it a try.

Wow, this is going to be great!  There have been times when I’ve had an idea for a blog but haven’t been able to connect to the internet for some reason (usually because BT has screwed up again), and now I can type up my blog posts using word and upload them when the internet is back online.

Plus I can use whatever fonts I want!  Cool!

Another Posh Spice Story

I hope no one thinks this woman is a role model for girls in this day and age. I'm not surprised, but I'm astounded that Victoria Beckham thinks that it's perfectly okay for her to admit that she has never read a book in her life.

To be honest, this woman infuriates me. She is wealthy and "famous" by virtue of a cheesy girl group in the 1990s and marrying one of England's top footballers. She has made no useful contribution to society. Had she not been one of the Spice Girls, I have no doubt they would have had the same success they enjoyed with her.

She has been a failure as a solo artist, and her fashion business doesn't interest me in the slightest. And yet she is constantly in the spotlight, usually for all the wrong reasons, although Sky New's Showbiz webpage is constantly drooling over her. (For evidence, I have to quote the caption to one photo: 'The hands-on-hip and glare to the camera combo says: "I know how hot I look in this" and dammit, she does.' From SkyNews.com)

Just read this from the Sunday Mirror and see if you agree with me.

I HAVE NEVER READ A BOOK
Aug 14 2005
Well, fancy that

By Gerard Couzens


VICTORIA Beckham has confessed she has never read a single book in her life.

The former Spice Girl has said she prefers listening to music and flicking through fashion magazines.

The startling admission means Posh, who turned 31 earlier this year, has yet to experience the joys of her husband's autobiography, David Beckham - My Side.

Presumably Andrew Morton's biography about them which they tried to have banned, and even her OWN autobiography, Learning To Fly, are also untouched on the library shelves.

And it looks unlikely she will be first to get her hands on the secret biography David's dad Ted is set to pen about his son in return for a six-figure sum.

It will add fuel to the fire of critics who argue Victoria is all money and no class.

Bizarrely Victoria, who now dabbles with fashion after turning her back on singing, has blamed her failure to read anything more meatier than a glossy mag on a lack of time.

The admission has been leaked from the forthcoming September issue of high-society magazine Chic. "I haven't read a book in my life, I haven't got enough time," she confesses. "I prefer to listen to music, although I do love fashion magazines."

She also reveals she is yearning for her next child to be a girl, who she'd like to grow up to be a junior Posh, rather than a tomboy who plays football with her brothers.

Victoria has already said she wants five children and plans to call her first daughter Luna - Spanish for moon.

She reveals in Chic: "I love being a mother and wouldn't mind having one or two more children.

"I can imagine myself painting her nails, helping her with her make-up, choosing clothes with her.

Despite being married to one of the world's most desirable men, Victoria insists she is not jealous of all the women who would die to take the England captain off her hands. "I know what other women think about him and I say to myself, 'He's very handsome, he dresses well, he's wonderful with children and he has an enormous heart. I'm not jealous. When people look at him, I think it's because he's very good."

Posh also has a dig at former nanny Abbie Gibson, who sold intimate details about the couple's life to a newspaper earlier this year. She had left the job following a row with Victoria. "We love to give presents to people and welcome them into our family," she says. "The downside is that many people have betrayed us." Victoria describes "Casa Beckham" the couple's new £5million home in Madrid, as "amazing". She adds: "When people say I don't like Spain I find it really frustrating because this is where my home is."

SOME SHE SHOULD TRY..

1 LEARNING TO FLY by Victoria Beckham: Apparently she still thinks she's written a cookbook called Learning To Fry. Now available for 50p on Amazon.

2 MY SIDE by David Beckham: Dedicated to "Victoria, Brooklyn and Romeo. The three people who always make me smile." She won't be smiling after 416 pages.

3 WHAT NOT TO WEAR by Susannah Constantine and Trinny Woodall: Then she can lend it to her sarong-wearing hubby

4 EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES, by Lynne Truss: A handbag-sized guide to the courting rituals of famous footballers.

5 WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T FIND GOOD HELP ANYMORE (A Guide to Finding, Managing, and Keeping Good Domestic Help) by Kathleen Koszyk Chapter on confidentiality, anyone?

Perhaps before she has that daughter and names her Luna, she should read the Harry Potter books, particularly The Order of the Phoenix, though I have to admit, I would rather my daughter aspire to be like Luna Lovegood than Victoria Beckham! Besides, it sounds to me like she wants a girl more as a fashion accessory than anything else!

Walking Blog

No, my blog hasn't walked ... Strange title for a post, I know.

I've started up yet another blog. Actually, at the moment I mostly post on this blog, though I copy everything over to my Puddled Stuff blog on MSN as a "catch all" where everyone can see everything I post all in one place. I gave up my diary blog and my crafts blog because I never used them. I still post my best pictures on my Photographic Wanderings blog though.

Since I seem to have taking up rambling or hiking or hill walking or whatever you want to call it, I thought it would be nice to have a place to put some of the interesting places I've found or favourite walking trails, etc. I've put a link in my sidebar, but it's called Off the Beaten Path. Yeah, I know, that's not very original either. I just couldn't think of anything better. If I do, I'll change it later.

Stupid Commercials

I can remember, when I was a teenager, there was a commercial on the television for a dishwashing liquid. I think it was Sunlight or something like that, but I only have a vague recollection of the commercial itself. What I remember most is my dad telling my mother never to buy that dishwashing liquid because he didn't want his money going to a company that came up with such stupid commercials.

I definitely take after my father.

Lately I've found myself questioning why on earth companies would want to make itself look so stupid, and as a result I will not be buying any of their products. If they can't come up with something sensible, they don't deserve my custom and my cash. For instance, there's the commercial for McLeans toothpaste. Sure, the people on there have lovely white teeth, but I don't want to see them standing there smiling for 30 seconds. Or turning their smile up and down like a light switch.

I don't mind funny commercials. In fact, those are the kinds I like, but there's funny and then there is annoying.

I've even unconsciously extended this principle beyond commercials to people who annoy me. I refuse to watch anything with Jennifer Lopez or Tom Cruise on principle. Cruise especially lost my custom when he spouted off nonsense about Brooke Shields saying she benefitted from psychiatric help after suffering post-natal depression. After my daughter was born, I got the same kind of help she did and have always been grateful that I did, so he thoroughly pissed me off with his comments.

A Quiet Day

Wow, I can't remember the house being this quiet in ages! Simon has gone to Matlock to meet up with a friend, Daniel went home yesterday afternoon, Ricky and Jack are still in Tenerife with their dad, and Malorie and Braden don't come back from Texas until next Tuesday! Even the dog is being still and quiet today!

I did get to speak to Ricky and Jack yesterday. Their dad gave them some money to ring from a pay phone. It sounds like they're having a lot of fun, and Ricky in particular seemed very excited at having seen dolphins. Jack seemed more impressed by the fact that he had two beds in his bedroom in the villa. That's typical Jack. He's also the one who wanted to speak to the dog.

I haven't heard a word from Malorie and Braden, but that's not unusual. I don't think that they've forgotten me or don't want to call. I get the impression that their dad feels he spends enough on international phone calls without them calling me. He should try having to pay for the flights.

Now that my cozy morning is almost over, I suppose I better get the kitchen tidied up!

Simon's Pics

I forgot Simon had a camera yesterday too ...






Don't laugh. It's hard to look sexy when you've climbed up a hill that size when you're my size while carrying that backpack! (Notice Simon didn't have one!)

Tuesday Weigh In

Four more pounds gone! When I lose one more pound, that'll be a whole stone I've lost since starting Weight Watchers!

I Did It!

I walked to the top of Mam Tor! Okay, it's not Everest. It's not even Ben Nevis, but it's one of the highest peaks in the Peak District, and I did it!


Simon when we stopped for a picnic, with Mam Tor behind him


Daniel on the first part of the walk/climb up


Where we were headed


Almost there ...


We made it!


The view from the other side

A Bigger Challenge!

Simon has expressed an interest in going for a walk in the Peak District, and it looks like we've settled on Castleton for a day out. We're also taking my step-son, Daniel. He could do with a bit of exercise and a day away from the X-Box!

I have a book of Peak District walks, and I mentioned the one that starts and ends at Castleton, but it involves climbing Mam Tor. That's a bit higher than the Owler Tor, which I climbed with Ricky and Jack, but Simon says we're going to do it! I'll be interested in seeing how he does since it wears him out just walking up the slight slope and around the corner to the shop!

My Jeans Fit!

I'm over the moon! The jeans I blogged about last week fit!

I put them on again today, and they fit perfectly! All my other size 16 jeans are starting to hang off me a bit, too!

So I dug out a pair of size 14 jeans from last year. I got them over my thighs, onto my hips and almost fastened.

I'm Bored

I can't remember the last time I was this bored! I suppose that after all the activity of the past couple of weeks, taking day trips out with the boys, going for long walks, jogging around the lake, etc., being stuck in the house with not a heck of a whole lot to do has been aggravating! The weather has been rubbish all day with so much rain we had a small pond outside the back door. During the only break in the storm, I did something really exciting: I did the grocery shopping. I've cooked. I've done laundry. I've ironed. Oh fun.

I wish I could just go grab one of those dirt cheap flights to somewhere like Stockholm. I don't think that would go down well with Simon though. He doesn't have a passport (at least he hasn't had it replaced since his ex-wife burned it five years ago).

I've even opened the bottle of low calorie white wine. I could use a bit of a buzz!

If My Family Were South Park Characters

Aren't we a motley crew?


Simon, complete with unshaven face, cigarette and last night's beer


Malorie, though I resisted putting a princess crown on her head


Football mad Braden


Daniel minus his mobile phone, which is a rare sight!


Ricky with his usual messy face and lack of hair


Jack the muck magnet, who always has a bruise or a plaster somewhere on him!

And finally ...


Me! I was supposed to be drinking nice cocktails (or at least lager) tonight, but that's been pushed back to next week, so I have to pretend I have one in my hand!

You can do your own South Park character if you click here.

Still Down in the Dumps

I'm trying to kick myself back into gear, but today's just been depressing. The weather is crap, the house is too quiet, and I still feel weak from my stomach virus. I did get to speak to Ricky and Jack while they were waiting to board their plane to Tenerife, which cheered me up some. I almost missed them. They tried ringing me on my mobile while I was driving, and my phone was in my bag so I never heard it ring. If I had, I would have pulled over to speak to them!

Once I got home, I mentioned to Simon that I had five missed calls while I was driving, and he said, "Oh that would have been Ricky. He just rang here because he couldn't get hold of you". I burst into tears. Once I pulled myself together, I sent their dad a text message apologising for not being there when they called, and fortunately he gave the phone back to Ricky to try me again.

Of course both of them had to be silly when I told them to be careful. They wanted to know why they have to be careful. Duh.

I got out for a while (in the pouring rain) to get Simon's belated birthday presents -- a new shirt and a Renault F1 model for him to put together. I knew he was wanting one of those because he pointed them out to me the last time we were in town together.

I had been looking forward to going out tomorrow night and drinking myself silly, but that's been postponed another week because one of my friends can't make it. I still get to taxi Simon and Allan tonight. Simon asked why I don't join them, but somehow I don't think two hours of listening to them discuss downloads, computers, mobiles and crap like that is my idea of fun!

What a Day

It's just been one of those weird days ...

To start with, it's Simon's birthday. My original plan was to have his cake and "card" ready for when he came downstairs, and for Ricky and Jack to help me fix him a nice breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, two things happened that kind of messed that up.

First of all, Tuesday night I came down with the worst case of chills and shivering I've ever had in my life. Simon and Jack said I felt really hot, but I didn't feel like getting up to find the thermometer. Eventually I became nauseated and ended up spending the rest of the night kneeling in front of the porcelain throne. It's even less fun when you haven't been drinking. I still felt horrible yesterday so never got out to get the cake and breakfast menu. Instead I spent all day on the couch watching "Time Team" and other history documentaries while I read Peter Ackroyd's "London: The Biography".

Second, the dog kept Simon awake all night anyway. There must be a bitch in heat somewhere nearby because he said that Mitch kept crying all night. I never heard him, which is unusual. Most of the time I'm such a light sleeper that the dog wakes me up while Simon snores through it. He didn't want anyone disturbing him this morning, and he finally got out of bed at 1.30 this afternoon. So much for breakfast in bed.

My father-in-law surprised me by dropping by at 9.00 with Simon's present. I was still in my nightgown, but at least I was up and awake while everyone else was still asleep!

I still got the boys up early so I could spend a few hours with them before they left to spend the rest of the summer with their dad. I'll see them before they go back to school, but tomorrow they're off on holiday to Tenerife for a week. Jack woke up singing "Happy Birthday", and Ricky got dressed and ran downstairs so he could make Simon a card.

Lynn dropped round to bring Simon a card and present, and while she was here, the dog snuck out -- probably to find that bitch in heat! Normally when he sneaks out, he just goes around the corner to have a quick run on the fields behind our house. We shouted and shouted but no Mitch. I drove around the estate but no Mitch. Jack was upset because he was afraid he'd never see the dog again, especially since they're off to Tenerife.

About 45 minutes later, the dog dragged himself back in. He was worn out, panting and drooling, so I'm guessing he found the bitch. I hope no one knocks on the door and hands us a basket of puppies!

The boys left just after noon, and I was in tears, though I tried to hold them back while Lynn was here. I didn't do too badly, but it still wasn't an easy afternoon. For some reason I put a country music CD on, and there's nothing more depressing than country music when you're already down in the dumps (no offense to George Strait!) I spent most of the afternoon finishing Simon's "card", which wasn't really a card but a mini scrapbook with lots of photos and goofy things like how he knows I can be an extremely puddled lady but he married me anyway. I had planned to finish it Tuesday night and yesterday. The stomach virus changed my plans.

For his birthday, we decided to go out to TGI Fridays. I haven't had much of an appetite, but after reading the menu, I was starving! I still restrained myself from ordering the big cheeseburger I was drooling over. I had a salad with grilled chicken in barbecue sauce. I was so good that I even had plenty of room left on my diet for a slice of the chocolate birthday cake I bought on the way home from the restaurant!

Now I'm winding the day down with a cup of hot chocolate (with coconut). Tomorrow is going to be an even stranger day because my little monsters are gone. Apart from bill paying, dog walking and house cleaning, there's not much to look forward to!

Tuesday Weigh In Disappointment

All that walking and dieting last week, and I put on half a pound. I'm going to have to see where I'm going wrong, though my Weight Watchers leader said it could just be because it's "that time of the month". *sigh*

Summertime Wasters

There are some people I will never figure out. One of my neighbours has been working out in her front garden all afternoon, and now she has the sprinkler on, flooding it. First of all, that's not good for her plants.

But even more amazing is that we've got showers coming any time now, and they're due to last the next few days. So overwatering her garden before the rain hits? That's just plain stupid.

Weigh In Tomorrow

I've exercised more in the past week than I probably have in the past few years, but I'm still nervous that when I go to be weighed in the morning, I'll either have put weight back on or have stayed the same. Okay, staying the same isn't too bad, but I hate to think I've been following my diet and exercising like this only to gain!

I let Ricky and Jack use my digital camera to take pictures, and they had to take pics of me. I don't like the way I look so I think that's contributing to my insecurity. Because I'd just climbed Owler Tor, the fact that my hair was a disaster and I was all sweaty in the pics doesn't bother me. It's how fat I look.

I guess we all have our insecurities, in whatever form they take. Hopefully mine is going to be short-lived, and maybe soon I'll be down into that size 12 I'm aiming for as my first goal!

And because I'm sure I will get down to that size 12, I'm going to post one of the pictures of myself from yesterday. This might be me now, but I'm going to be slim and healthy soon!

Death of a Media Icon

I started watching the news when I was a teenager after taking the required semester of American Government in high school. I don't know why, but out of the three major networks, I always liked ABC's Peter Jennings best. Since moving to England, I kept watching his evening news broadcasts via the BBC, although the ABC News wasn't shown until 1.30 am.

I was saddened to hear that Peter Jennings has died. I really admired him, and he will be sorely missed.


Picture from ABCNews.com

Getting in My Jeans

About six weeks ago, I ordered a new pair of jeans from the Next catalogue in a size 16, my "usual" size. When I tried them on, I couldn't even get them past my thighs. I think this was one of the key events that led me to going onto a proper diet.

I packaged them up to return them to Next, then forgot to post them. That's typical for me -- absent minded as always.

But last night I thought I'd give them another go and see how much of myself I could stuff into those size 16 jeans. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I got them easily past my thighs, onto my hips, and zipped up!

Okay, they aren't comfortable, but I didn't have to lie down on the bed and pull the zipper up with a coat hanger! I can remember my best friend doing that back in the early 80s when the tighter your jeans were, the better, so long as they were designer jeans. I never could find jeans tight enough back then.

I did remember her trick with the coat hanger, and over the past couple of years, I've used it myself. Last night I didn't have to. Maybe I'll be moving down to a size 14 soon!

No More Diary Blog

I decided to delete my diary blog. I seem to have given up on it, seeing as how I hadn't posted anything on there since June. I did transfer all my entries from there to this blog, all of which are titled "Diary Entry". Original title, I know.

I'll try to make diary type entries on this blog as I go along from now on.

Taking the Monsters to the Peak District

I've just spent three hours walking up and down hills in the Peak District with Ricky and Jack! All that walking and fresh air has made me sleepy, not to mention it's given me quite an appetite. Not a good thing when you're on Weight Watchers, but I'll cope!

The funny thing is that we climbed up these rocks, and while I knew we hadn't climbed the highest peak in the area, I thought we were fairly high up. When we went back to the car, I looked to see just how high we'd climbed, and I was embarrassed to see we'd only gone up a small hill. Okay, it was a rocky and steep hill called Owler Tor, but it wasn't the conquest I'd imagined it. Still, since I did it with the little monsters, I suppose it was quite an event!

The Longshaw Estate really is a good place for taking families. The paths are pretty sturdy, and as long as you watch the kids, the rock climbing isn't too bad.