Diary Entry

1.46 am Back to university today, and of course I'm up into the wee hours of the morning making candles! Thank goodness I don't have to be there until 1.00 in the afternoon, but I still have to get up and take the boys to school. Lately they have been a couple of monsters when it comes time to doing as they're told, so I'm pretty sure there will a lot of shouting on my part and ignoring on their part.

I've managed to sort some of the shop crap out, but not a lot. We decided that since we're both aching from doing all the moving yesterday (I still say we should have gone a bit slower and done it over two days), we'd have today off to recover.

3.36 am Problem solved about having to go to uni tomorrow then spend the rest of the day sorting out the stuff in the house. I had the option of going in tomorrow or Wednesday. Originally I chose tomorrow because the tutor will be handing back our tort law essays, and I'm eager to see how badly I did. I've emailed her and said I will be coming on Wednesday instead.

Not only have I got an entire house to re-organise, but Malorie is sick with a bad cold. It's nice not having the shop anymore because Simon would be here with her while I was gone, but the kids all seem to want Mum when they're not well. As sick as she is, she's still been boy mad today, asking about her latest love interest, Pandy, when I went to do the shopping. "Did you see Pandy when you went?" "Yes, Malorie. I saw Pandy". "Was he still playing football?" "Yes, Malorie, he was playing football". "Did you see Pany when you were on your way home?" And so on.

She wanted to know earlier if I fancied as many boys as she does when I was 15. I told her she better ask her grandparents the answer to that one. I'm sure my dad would be more than happy to fill her in on how boy-mad I was!

1.29 pm I had an absolutely crap night's sleep. I don't remember Simon tossing and turning, but I sure did! The dog didn't help. I don't know if he got cold in the night, but he tried to snuggle as well, and that usually means I'm squished up into the foetal position. I'm only just got up, though I've been awake several times for long spells. I have to be at uni tomorrow at 9.00 am, so I have got to get to bed early tonight and try to sleep well.

Now it's time to get some organising done around here. Between the time Simon gets back from Graham's (in about an hour) and the time I go to bed (probably about 11, I hope) that's what we're going to be doing. I've got Malorie, Ricky and Jack all home from school with bad coughs and sore throats, so they can do a bit to help since the little two, especially, seem to have tons of energy despite their colds.

3.59 pm Simon's still at Graham's, and I've been doing a bit of organising, candlemaking, and kid-referreeing. I knew his "in about an hour" would be longer than "in about an hour". He's on man time.

I stopped my cleaning because I came across a thank-you card I got from my grandmother recently. This was written after my revelation to her that I don't like George Bush, so I think she's "forgiven" me for turning traitor. I wanted to put what she wrote on here so that if I lost the card itself, I would still have what she wrote to me saved.

Dear Kaye* and all --

I appreciate you all a lot. I love all the candles and have them all over the house. you do wonderful work.

Happy New Year to all --
Love,
Granny J.

P.S. We were all together for Christmas Day and it was wonderful. Missed all of you. Maybe next year you can come. Karen and Erin did all the work (Keith washed dishes). We're very happy to have Cody living back in Ennis with Keith. Is 16 and driving. Yikes! Ricky, the Christmas card that you designed is just beautiful. I actually looked on the back to see where it came from, it's so pretty! I'm hoping to see Malorie and Braden before they leave. Hi to Ricky, Jack, Daniel and Simon. Guys, Sir sent Christmas money over the internet to you, from me. Let me know that you received it and ontime, please! Happy New Year!

P.S. #5 I'm slowly getting over the fall that I took downtown on Main Street on Dec. 7. I tripped in antique brick street, and drew quite a crowd. (Main Street, across from Latsons). Sprained left ankle, right big toe, right wrist and now that the scab has come off, I see that my chin has been reshaped and I have a cleft. Someone told a friend of mine that "some elderly person fell down there". That was the worst blow.
XXXOOO

P.S. #6 I'm looking forward to gorging on the shortbread.

*My family calls me by my middle name, yuck! They always have and always will.

7.26 pm The living room is starting to resemble something like its normal self again. I've tidied (in a fashion) around my desk, and I have a new desk chair! The one out of the shop, which is much nicer than the one I've had the past few years, is all mine now. It's so much more comfy on my butt, and it doesn't make popping sounds when I sit on it!

I've sold a candle today. Only one, but she's placed an order to come pick up some more. Hopefully word of mouth will spread anyway, like it's done on the internet.

I'm looking forward to going back to uni tomorrow. I need to get my brain back to thinking. Lately I've not only felt it hard to motivate myself, but my memory seems to be fading a bit. It's not too bad. I can still do things like remember my home phone number from when I was about eight years old (495-3853), I can remember events and things, but I'm fading on names and faces. There are times when I can't remember things I've studied. Concepts I'm okay with, but specifics seem to be harder than they used to be. I know that since I'm getting ever closer to forty, that was probably inevitable, but I've always believed in "use it or lose it", and if I don't exercise my brain cells, they fade away.

We've given Ricky and Jack the computer out of the shop. It was mine originally, but when I moved my desk down here to the living room, I decided to use the laptop instead so I would have more space to spread out my books and papers. They have to prove they can take care of it, but so far today they've played up so much they've been told they'll have to wait another day before we put it in their room.

11.43 pm I wanted to be in bed by 11.00 tonight but lost track of time! Oh well, I guess I might just manage to get about seven hours of sleep, which isn't too bad, unless you're not a morning person. I am definitely not a morning person. I love mornings, but I hate waking up. Still, it's back to uni tomorrow, so I need to get into a regular routine. My calendar should help, and now I just have to work on that motivation I mentioned earlier. I did manage to get motivated to make candles and wax melts. That's good anyway. I could do with some more orders to get the money rolling in, but I need to revamp my website to do that.

My dreams have been getting weirder and weirder, and that's saying a lot because they were weird to start with. I can't remember the ones I had last night, which is a pity because I woke up this morning actually thinking that I needed to go record them in my blog! Maybe I was just dreaming about blogging. Oh, I do remember one part of my dream now. In real life, we're planning on decorating the stairway and landing in a kind of racing theme. In other words, we're going to hang up our photos and prints of F1 drivers, stuff like that. Well Graham had made us some shelves for the shop, and when we took them down, he suggested that they might look nice going up the stairs (on the wall obviously). I thought that was a brilliant idea because we could put things like my FW16 with DC driving and my new radio controlled McLaren. It's tiny, so it would fit on the shelf perfectly, and it looks like something that would be displayed.

Anyway, in my dream David Coulthard was hear at the house helping me decorate, and I was showing him my F1 memorabilia. That's all I can remember though. Still, if DC was in the dream, it had to have been a good one!

For once I have plenty to ramble on about (nothing of any importance though) but I'm so tired I'm heading off to bed now. Before midnight, so it's an early night for me!

Jacko and the Jury

The circus has kicked into high gear with the number one clown now in court.

The trial of Michael Jackson has got to be the biggest media circus in history, far surpassing the trials of any other celebrity, including OJ Simpson. He has already been tried in the minds of many, and my own personal view is that if he is not guilty of the official charges against him, he is at least guilty of being the most misguided, not to mention stupid, celebrity in living memory. If he truly believed that letting children spend the night alone with him in his bedroom and in his bed would be perceived by an increasingly suspicious world as innocent, he should be committed for psychiatric help with his naitivity.



In the early 1980s I was a huge fan of Michael Jackson, and whenever I think of Jackson the singer, that is how I prefer to remember him. "Beat It", "Billie Jean", and "Thriller" were three of my favourites during my high school years.

Since then he has become "Whacko Jacko". Rumours abounded of strange behaviour such as attempting to buy the remains of the Elephant Man. He lived with his companion "Bubbles" the Chimp. Accusations start to spring up about child molestion. He married Elvis' daughter, which was a marriage that lasted only 19 months. He named all his children "Michael", even his daughter. And, most worryingly, he dangled his own baby off a hotel balcony in Germany.

Even if he is not found guilty in a court of law for the specific charges levelled against him, he is not a man I would hold up as a role model for my children. So to the mothers and fathers of the children who were allowed to sleep over with a grown man, to you I say, "What the hell were you thinking?????"

Google Ads

Now I've seen it all. While blog surfing, I came across the following Google Ad:

Catholic Priest for Sale
Discount Catholic Priest aff.
Check out the deals now!

I know the Catholic Church has had it's problems in the past, but are they so hard up they have to sell their priests on ebay? And I know ebay has been the venue for the sale of many off-the-wall items lately (who can forget the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich?), but are they in the religious relict business now?

I've Got a GuestMap!

I just love the internet and all the little gizmos and gadget kind of buttons you can put on your websites! I remember my first computer -- an Apple II. And I remember my first modem. Wow, I thought I was so cool with that one! Little did I dream of oneday having broadband!

Anyway, my latest find is a "Guestmap", and since I'm curious as to where people who stop by are from, please have a look and stick yourself on there! The link is on my sidebar to the left.

Diary Entry

1.56 pm I wish I could say I had a long sleep and didn't wake up until noon, but although I actually didn't wake up until noon, I didn't have a long sleep. My muscles were screaming in agony, and Simon tossed and turned, so I ended up on the couch again. I'm wide awake now, fortunately, but I still hurt. I need to exercise more.

The kids are at it again. Noisy little beggars. That's another reason I didn't sleep much. They're upstairs fighting again ...

8.42 pm Boring day. I've done next to nothing, apart from catching up on some of that sleep my body was begging for. Simon told me to go lie down for an hour, but once I was asleep, I didn't want to wake up again. I did manage to go do some shopping. It was the first time I had been to Morrisons since I started doing my shopping online with Tesco. I only volunteered to go because Shell had told me about this big containers with lids they had at Morrisons 2 for £5. I got four. Two are to pour a load of wax in, one is for all my candle scents, and one is to transport my card making stuff when I go to Shell's house to make cards.

I keep forgetting I have some candles I need to make tonight! I have to get those posted tomorrow. Well, I've had a three hour nap so I'm sure I can manage to get the coconut ones done easily, probably a few others as well.

I've added another blog referral to my growing list of surf addictions!

Calling All Melindas in the UK!

This might be a strange question, but are there any other women named Melinda in the UK? The reason I'm asking is because the most famous Melinda in this country is, of course, Melinda Messenger. I think she's a lovely person from what I can see on the telly, but she's about as opposite to me as possible.



Until today, I haven't come across any other Melindas, and the one I did find today is a fictional character on "Dalziel and Pascoe". She's a nurse, and seems a bit of a tart, as well as being a blonde.

So curiousity has gotten the better of me. If you are a Melinda living in this neck of the woods, give me a holler!

Blogazoo

A new blog referral service to feed my addiction!

Recent Blogging

I'm sure it has been easy to notice the fact that I haven't blogged on anything "important" (or at least of my own thoughts) recently. Sorry about that. I've thrown on a bunch of crap so that it looks like I'm paying attention to it, but I've just been busy with closing down the shop and not feeling great after that stupid fall down the stairs.

Hopefully I should get back to my normal (normal?) self in a couple of days! I'm back at university starting tomorrow, so I will have a lot to blog and complain about -- I get a lot of my results back from essays I've handed in. I'll need someone's shoulder to cry on.

The Morality Test

I found yet another quiz/test link. I took it myself with the following results:

(It lets you compare yourself to another person in the first section of the test, and you have to guess what that other person's answers would be. I chose my husband.)

By “moral” we mean those aspects of thought and behavior that relate to commonly accepted notions of right and wrong, and to selfish and unselfish actions. One need not be religious to be “moral,” although religions do tend to espouse moral codes of behavior. We have broken down your results into two sub-categories: political/economic morals and social morals.

Based on your answers to the previous questions, your overall score on a conservative/liberal dimension of moral attitudes--compared with the general population--puts your percentile at 73, with the 99th percentile indicating the most liberal possible rating. Another way of explaining this is to say that out of 100 randomly-selected people, you will most likely be more liberal than 73 of them.
You chose to rate another person, in addition to yourself. This other person's overall morality score is 67, meaning that they are slightly more conservative than you are.

You tend to hold progressive/liberal values, but are more traditional on some aspects.

When it comes to social morals, you feel that society's current laws need to be more flexible in some areas.

You believe that government is too conservative and would prefer it to change several of its political and practices.

The other person tends to hold progressive/liberal values, but is more traditional on some aspects.

There has been much research on how people describe others, and five major dimensions of human personality have been found. They are often referred to as the OCEAN model of personality, because of the acronym from the names of the five dimensions. Your specific personality indicates that the following attributes will most likely describe you well:

You are relatively open to new experiences.
You tend to do things somewhat haphazardly.
You are relatively social and enjoy the company of others.
You tend to consider the feelings of others.
You probably remain calm, even in tense situations.

Check out my Morality! 73% liberal, 27% conservative - compared to 67% liberal, 33% conservative!

Survivors

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while theycarried us.(Some of us anyway)

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloredlead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, butwe weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were backwhen the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride downthe hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into thebushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cellphones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chatrooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were nolawsuits from these accidents.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did theworms live in us forever.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn'thad to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These decades have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

I remember these days, don't you.

Getting to Know You

I love getting these question emails, even though they seem like junk mail to a lot of people. I don't know why. I guess I like learning a lot about my friends and family. Still, I only sent one to most of my address book recently, so instead of doing that again so soon, I figured I'd post my answers here!

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends and relatives. Okay here's what you're supposed to do. Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, *INCLUDING* the person that sent it to you.

1. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In the middle of the Angelina Forest in Texas.

2.. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Pale yellow

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The television: "Crime Stories" on the History Channel

4.WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? I'm eating it now: garlic bread with cheese and mushrooms

5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Yes, when I can see them. It's usually too cloudy.

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple. I'd love to be able to get people's attention and be slightly whacky.

7. THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cold and icky, as usual.

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Simon's mate Kev. He didn't really want to speak to me though.

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Of course I do! Roy and Caz both sent it to me and they're great!

10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? *sigh* 37, but not for much longer

11. FAVORITE DRINK? If I'm out, a Screaming Orgasm from TGI Fridays. At home, Baileys. Non-alcoholic, Pepsi.

12. HAIR COLOR? Dark Brown

13. SPORT? Formula One and Tennis

14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, and not glasses either.

15. SIBLINGS? Three younger sisters

16. FAVORITE MONTH? August because it seems the most relaxed of the year for me.

17. FAVORITE FOOD? Can I pick more than one? How much time do you have? Chocolate for starters (and desert!). Swiss steak, fried chicken, Taco Bell tacos and burritos, sour cream chicken enchiladas from El Chico, shall I keep going?

18. FAVORITE MOVIE? While You Were Sleeping

19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? The day of the first grand prix of the season.

20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? Write in my blogs!

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? A stuffed koala bear named Fuzzy, though my dad insisted on calling him Qantas.

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, thankfully in England. I hate the heat in Texas during the summer.

23. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who I'm hugging or kissing.

24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate, of course!

25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/ E-MAIL BACK? Well, I'm not actually emailing it ...

26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND IN EMAIL? No one ...

27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND IN EMAIL? Everyone ...

28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Hubby and our five kids

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When I saw the tsunami victims on Boxing Day.

30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Dust I'm sure.

31. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? Hard to say. I keep in touch with a lot of people by email that I've known since I first started school.

32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Taxied Simon and his mate Allan to and from the pub, sat and chatting and had coffee with my best mate Michelle.

33. FAVORITE SMELLS? The candle scents when I'm making some.

34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Love.

35. WHAT FRIGHTENS YOU? Heights, deep water, and losing someone close to me.

36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? Buttered, not too salty.

37. FAVORITE CAR? BMW Z3 -- dark blue.

38. FAVORITE FLOWER? Rose

39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 7

40. CAN YOU JUGGLE? I used to be able to but haven't tried in years.

41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Sunday!

42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST CAR/MC TRIP? Drove home from my shop for the last time with a boot full of left over stock.

44. IN HOW MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? Seven: Nacogdoches TX, Richardson TX, Garland TX, Waxahachie TX, Commerce TX, Chesterfield England, Sheffield England.

45. HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU HAD & WHAT WAS THE FIRST CAR THAT YOU HAD? I have lost count! My first husband used to sell them as soon as I got used to driving whatever car he'd just bought me, but off the top of my head I can remember seven from that time period. I know there were more. My second husband used to get rid of them as soon as the MOT ran out because without MOT you can't get insurance, but there were at least four. I've had two cars since I've been with Simon, both of which we still have. Grand total: minimum of 13.

My first car was a red 1972 Dodge Dart.

The Offbeat Coffin Maker

This would bring a new perspective to a funeral if the deceased happened to be a customer!

Tell me, if you were so inclined as to use Mr Sowah's services, what shape would you choose?


Isaac Adjetey Sowah's showroom in a suburb of Accra has some of the most colourful coffins to be found anywhere.


The Bible coffin is one of his more conventional designs. The snail in the background has been ordered by a snail seller.


In the foreground, a pineapple coffin is in its early stages, but Isaac's workshop produces standard box-like coffins as well.


Some clients want to bury their loved ones in something that reflects their trade...


In another showroom, a polished uterus waits to be picked up by a gynaecologist.


Here, an unrepentant heavy drinker has chosen to be buried inside a beer bottle.

Source: BBC News Online

Diary Entry

7.43 pm I've been wanting to blog ever since I got up this morning but haven't had a chance. It's been just as busy as yesterday since I've had to pack up everything in the shop and get it moved home. I tried to tell Simon there wasn't any need to rush it. Our rent is paid until Monday, and I'm sure the landlord wouldn't throw our stuff out if we didn't get it out until Tuesday, but Simon had to have it all out today. That means that instead of bringing things home and putting them away in an organised fashion, like I wanted, it's all over the place. My living room is full of the loose stuff that we ran out of boxes for, the hall way is full of boxes, and the kitchen is full of the stuff out of the office. Simon's car is still full as well, and there are some things in my car.

I had another weird dream last night. I've decided I like being able to record my funky dreams in my blog. It just shows me how nuts I can be in my sleep. Anyway, in this dream, I was at some kind of special function for university students at a big university, and I got a text message from my ex-husband, only it wasn't a real text message. It was a video he'd taken of his wife shagging another bloke. I kept refusing to watch all of it because I just wasn't interested, but suddenly he appeared and kept trying to make me watch it. Then the university turned into some kind of a prison with barbed wire all around it like a cage, even across the sky. I ordered a hamburger that took three hours to arrive.

8.28 pm I had a play around with my new camera last night, getting some shots of one of the other mum's one year old at the birthday party Jack went to. I think a few of them turned out really well, to say that I haven't used this camera much!

Gone But Not Forgotten

Our shop is closed. I served my last customer in Eckington this morning, a little girl who came in almost every Saturday to buy some arts and crafts supplies with her weekly spending money. I could always count on her, and she's one of those that I will really miss. Unfortunately, her spending £5 a week wasn't making the shop pay it's own way, as much as her smile was worth a million pounds.

I spent the day boxing up everything, a project that didn't take me nearly as long as I thought it would. I guess I was just organised for once. The shelves came down in a matter of hours instead of the days it took to put them up. It makes me wonder what Simon and Graham were up to all those nights when they said they were putting in shelves, but I guess I'll never know.

Now, do I have any volunteers to help me organise all the stock we're going to try to sell online because I can barely move through my downstairs!


R.I.P. Edale Crafts Shop

Burgers Galore!

This is a blog worth having a look at: The Texas Burger Guy! If anyone will knock me off my diet -- okay, the diet I intend to start one day soon -- then this is the guy! Not only does he give reviews, he puts pictures on in glorious colour.

I'm going to go find some carrot sticks.

Auschwitz Liberation Day

I have been grappling all day with wanting to say something about this important occasion. I've been watching the memorial service via BBC online, and it is such a dark, imposing cermony to mark the end of a dark event. There is really nothing I can say that would be eloquent enough.


Then:











Now:



A wreath lies on the tracks leading to the former Nazi concentration camp of Auschwitz ahead of the 60th anniversary ceremony of the camp's liberation.



German President Horst Koehler, who remained silent in recognition of Germany's role as perpetrator of the Holocaust, places a candle at a monument for the camp victims.



The ceremony ended with a moving display of rail tracks on fire symbolising the loss of life at the camp.

Source: BBC News



People light candles along the railway tracks in front of the former death camp. Victims arrived on trains and were sent to work or to the gas chambers to be killed.



The rail lines running into the Birkenau concentration camp were set alight as night closed in.

Source: Sky News.com

Diary Entry

9.48 pm I feel like I've been run over by a train. I have not stopped since I got up this morning. I got up and started getting ready, but Simon said he wasn't going to go to town with me, so I had to do that on my own. I wasn't impressed. He couldn't go to town with me, but he'd planned a night out with Allan tonight.

I rushed around getting the boys ready for school, and they weren't co-operating. I never even had time to put make-up on. I dropped them off, put diesel in the car and went into town to the Inland Revenue office (on the third floor and I didn't like the looks of the lift), the bank, and the Council. I searched for GCSE revision books for Malorie, then decided I was going to use a gift voucher I had to buy myself a new top to wear when I go out with Shell for my birthday.

I came home for about 15 minutes to ring Simon and go for a pee. Then I picked Ricky up from school and took him to the dentist, called at the chemist and then bought Ricky a magazine at the newsagents. I had to go to our shop to get a present for a birthday party, call for petrol in my car after swapping cars with Simon, then home to grab some food and the post.

Time to get Jack from school. Back home again to sort the kids out and wrap the birthday present, then off to a two hour birthday party at Wacky Warehouse.

No rest for the wicked. Home for a few minute before taking Simon and Allan to the pub. I stopped and had a coffee with Shell because I needed a chill out. She's started doing card making, and I keep saying I want to start, so we talked about that as well as having the usual gossip.

I figured by then I deserved a treat, so I picked up a McChicken Premiere from McDonalds, and here I am! My neck aches, my head throbs, and I still have to get back out to pick Simon and Allan up again. I should make them take the bus. I don't even feel like writing all the witty and interesting things that popped into my head during the day. In other words, this is a typical entry for me.

Diary Entry

11.52 am Back to work. Let's see how long my neck holds out. I've been here over and hour and not a single customer. I'm glad we're closing up this weekend. I just need to get the house organised so all the stock can go there for internet sales! I'm going to start inventorying in a bit (is "inventorying" a word?) and take some photos of everything so put on the internet and ebay. But it's bloody freezing in this shop! Simon had me bring the space heater home on Tuesday so he could put it in the ice cream van while he was painting, and, of course, I didn't remember that until I was almost here this morning. I wish I'd at least brought my gloves!

Marie and Graham stopped by this morning for a cuppa. I would have made it to work earlier than I did, but I wanted to sit at chat with them for a while. We always have a laugh, usually at Simon and Graham's expense. I know I got to Simon because he threw his cigarette lighter at me, but then Graham did the same thing and he threw his cigarette roller at him. Marie said she'd keep quiet because the only thing left on the table in front of Simon was the glass ashtray!

I had a look at a new site for a journal, but while I like the template, I didn't like how complicated it was. Not that I couldn't figure it out because I did. Eventually. But it's too much of a hassle. All I have to do on Blogger is click a couple of times and I'm posting. Same again if I want to edit. And I already pretty much have my sidebars, links and so on the way I want them. I'm keeping the calendar though. I like that.

We didn't make it to town this morning. We have to do it tomorrow, there's no other choice. Tax returns are due Monday at the latest. Fortunately we don't owe anything in taxes. Simon tossed and turned all night last night because his back and leg hurt, so of course that meant I didn't get any sleep. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I couldn't get comfy there. Then the dog wanted to go out every two hours, and Simon wasn't about to get up with him.

1.47 pm You know, I must be a real slut in my dreams. It seems like lately I'm always chasing guys! Last night I dreamed that I was at a shopping mall with someone (for the life of me I can't remember who) when a guy I went to high school with came up and put his arm around me. I know it was someone I went to school with, but in reality this guy reminded me of two or three different guys, particularly Cesar Vega. Boy was he cute! Anyway, in the dream he invited me back to his house for a shag, and I said, "Sure, why not?" That is so opposite to the way I was in school it's hilarious! Ahhh, if I only knew then what I know now.

I've spent a lot of time putting my lectures and seminars into that online calendar, as well as the birthdays I can remember off the top of my head. I just remembered that I left Pete's off, so I've had to go add him as well before I get into trouble. I'll probably get in trouble with Simon for putting it on there now. As if I'm going to dash off to Australia to party!

9.59 pm I'm going to thump Simon sometime soon. I'm not a violent person, but he better be glad I don't have PMT at the moment or I'd definitely do some damage to his backside! He said, "Once the shop is closed (meaning our shop closing permanently) you can go back to cooking proper dinners like you used to". He seems to forget that once the shop is closed and we get everything moved here and organised, I'll be going back to lectures and seminars! I only have just over a week until those start again. So I told him that it goes both ways. He used to cook lovely dinners on Tuesday nights last year when I was at uni until almost 7.00 pm. It didn't last very long though. If I'm going to start having to cook "proper" meals, then we'll rotate it in turn. He can help me do the shopping. Well, I do it online, but he can at least tell me what he thinks he'd like to cook. I'll order it from Tesco, and he can cook once at week. Thursdays would be nice.

Stupid internet keeps disconnecting every few minutes again. I hate it when that happens.

10.50 pm Okay, now I'm really going to thump him! We have a big ol' widescreen television that we rent. Only we don't make a monthly payment by writing out a check. We make payments by putting pound coins into a meter thing on the television. For every pound, we can watch it for three hours. If we don't have any pound coins and the time runs out, we don't watch television.

I was really excited today when I got my first CSI DVD, but I used up all the viewing time last night and forgot to get some change today. By the time I thought about it, it was too late to run up to the shop and get some change. So I mentioned to Simon that I was disappointed that I couldn't watch my DVD and went up to take a shower.

Only when I come downstairs, he's on the couch watching his DVD! The pillock didn't bother to tell me he had a pound. He just wanted the telly to himself. I told him I thought that was shitty.

12.28 am I finally got to put my CSI DVD on, but there's not much time left on the telly! Grrr ...

Where's the Beef?

I cooked a really nice dinner for us tonight: beef and mushrooms in red wine sauce and gravy over Yorkshire puddings.

A piece of advice. Never try to cook and feed the dog at the same time. The beef in red wine sauce and gravy looked an awful like the dog's chicken in gravy, and I was in such a rush! Some of it fell on Simon's plate.

I'm sure I cleaned it all off before I gave it to him. Okay, I'm 99% sure I got it all cleaned off ...

A Conversation Between My Two Ex-Husbands

The scary thing is, I know that my second ex would agree with this cartoon!

Does My Butt Look Big In This?

How's this for a fashion craze? No, they aren't see-through skirts. The skirts are painted to appear as though they are see-through.

Just imagine: no need to diet and work out! A whole range of painted clothing to take the inches off your waist and increase the size and firmness of your bust!

A Joke to Start the Day

I wonder if this was the costume company Prince Harry used. If not, maybe he should have.

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. 'Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate'. The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of
complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says 'Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part'. Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a really rude letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads 'Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of treacle. Pour the tin of treacle over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple - you tosser.'

Happy Aussie Day!

I've been informed by a semi-reliable source that today is Australia day. Of course, you would only be celebrating this particular holiday if you are in Australia or an Australian living abroad. So for those of you Down Under, enjoy the heat, the beer and having the kids home from school! I'll sit here freezing my ass off before I sleep 7 hours (yes, it's still night-time here) then spend my Wednesday morning at work, again freezing my ass off.

Anybody want to hire me as their personal secretary and ship me to Australia? I need to thaw out.

Diary Entry

12.17 pm I never even went in to work today. Well, it's Wednesday so I would have only had the shop open from 10 until 1 anyway. The dog woke me up to go out for a shit at 7 this morning, and I was attacked by a massive stomach cramp. I still have it, though it's eased off now. So I laid on the couch until about 20 minutes ago, and now I'm sitting here eating cream crackers trying to sooth my tummy. Even if I didn't have a stomach ache, I'd probably be eating cream crackers. I don't know why, but I've become addicted to them lately. Last night for dinner I had cream crackers and cheddar cheese. I eat that a lot now. It's replaced chocolate, at least for the time being. Once PMT strikes again in a couple of weeks, I'm sure I'll be back on a chocolate binge.

7.50 pm I have spent most of the day on the couch with those stupid stomach cramps. I'll probably be awake all night tonight because of them as well, not to mention the amount of sleep I've had today.

Doyle sent me some pics of a Japanese fashion craze, so I've posted them here and then again on Scrambled Mind with commentary. I can't help but think that I'd love to wear one of those! Imagine, no stretch marks! And no bruise on my ass from falling down the stairs either!

9.03 pm Our self-assessments have to be turned in to the Inland Revenue by the 31st. Now, I don't have anything to do with the books for the business because Simon basically just took them over and wouldn't let me get a chance to help out with them. I've washed my hands of the ice cream business altogether, but it's still registered as a partnership, so I have to file a tax return. Simon's got his forms and the partnership forms. Has he got mine? Has he hell. No clue as to where they are. I've been on at him for weeks about getting this done. Last year we had an accountant do it. This year he decided he didn't want to pay an accountant. If he doesn't find my form, I get at least £100 penalty, and I don't want that! So, have I looked all over the house for it? Everywhere except his office, and he won't get off the phone with his mate Kev, talking over whatever the hell it is they do online most of the night, to help me find it. I should cross his name off his form and tell him he's the one out of luck! I thought I was bad, but Simon is the Great Procrastinator!

9.25 pm And he's still on the phone ...

11.46 pm He got off the phone about ten minutes after my last entry, but he still couldn't find my tax forms. Well, I've told him we're getting up early in the morning and going into town to the Tax Office. We need to turn the ones we have in anyway, and it's cutting it a bit close to trust the Royal Mail. How long will it take to fill in a bunch of zeros anyway? Besides, I've been saying for over two weeks that I need to go into town to pick up the Euros I've purchased through my bank. They better be there or that's £199 out the window! I couldn't print off a reference number because my computer crashed, but my online account definitely shows that amount went out of my savings account.

I've just been chatting to Shell. We go too long between chats, but unfortunately we're both mums and busy bees, so we miss each other a lot.

My Son the Comedian Strikes Again ...

Braden was home from school yesterday with a stomach bug. This evening I popped my head around the corner of his bedroom door to check on him since I hadn't seen him for a couple of hours.

Me: "Are you alright?"
Braden: "No, half of me is left."

What scared me is how fast he came up with that one.

Some Definitions, Please

Okay, as stated in a comment to another post, I have been called a "commie". Now, since it came from a conservative, I'm assuming that this means that he believes I am a communist. Let's look at the definition of communism according to Merriam-Webster Online:

Main Entry: com·mu·nism
Pronunciation: 'käm-y&-"ni-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: French communisme, from commun common
1 a : a theory advocating elimination of private property b : a system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed
2 capitalized a : a doctrine based on revolutionary Marxian socialism and Marxism-Leninism that was the official ideology of the U.S.S.R. b : a totalitarian system of government in which a single authoritarian party controls state-owned means of production c : a final stage of society in Marxist theory in which the state has withered away and economic goods are distributed equitably d : communist systems collectively

Now let's break it down. Do I advocate "the elimation of private property"? Are you kidding? I'm doing my damndest to save up money to buy my house! Do I think all goods should be "owned in common" and "available to all as needed"? Not all goods. I believe there are some basic needs that should be met for all, such as adequate housing, medical care, food and education. Am I a "revolutionary Marxian"? I have read Marx. I have studied his ideas. It is a requirement when you study sociology and criminology, two of my favourite subjects. I agree with some of what he says. Those who call people like me Marxists have never read Marx. Communism, such as the Communism of the USSR is not Marxist.

By this definition, am I a communist? Nope. I'm a socialist, and I'm a reader of Marx but, by definition, I am not a communist or a "commie".

Let's have a look at the definition of fascism according to Merriam-Webster Online:

Main Entry: fas·cism
Pronunciation: 'fa-"shi-z&m also 'fa-"si-
Function: noun
Etymology: Italian fascismo, from fascio bundle, fasces, group, from Latin fascis bundle & fasces fasces
1 often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2 : a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control early instances of army fascism and brutality -- J. W. Aldridge>
- fas·cist /-shist also -sist/ noun or adjective, often capitalized- fas·cis·tic /fa-'shis-tik also -'sis-/ adjective, often capitalized- fas·cis·ti·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb, often capitalized

Hmmmmmm. "... that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader".

I better keep my mouth shut.

Protest or Shut Up?

Lately I have come across several people who have said that liberals across the world who protest against Bush, Blair, the war in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay should just shut up. As a justification, they point out that in countries such as Iran and China, if you protest, you can be jailed or even "disappear".

This is true. It is an abominable situation when people cannot voice their opinions without fears for their personal safety or that of their family. In many countries we can enjoy the freedom of speech, so far as it does not incited violence or racial hatred. This is one of the principles I firmly believe in. I am proud of living in a country where I can express myself without fear, as I have no intention of inciting people to violence nor am I a racist.

But those who say we liberals should "shut up" because we have the right to say what we think ... guys, that makes no sense! By telling us we should shut up, by telling us we should blindly follow the government of the day, by telling us we should not exercise our free speech, aren't you risking turning our societies into those like China and Iran? It is because we can speak our minds that we should do so. If you don't like it, simply walk away, turn the channel, or click on another link. I appreciate where I live and the freedoms I have, but that's the reason why they should be exercised.

Use it or lose it, I say.


Just an example of free speech

Herb

I said I wasn't going to put any more of these on my blog, but this one was just too funny when you get to the last line!


YOU ARE ROSEMARY


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

For the Record ...

... I'm not as much of a geek as people think I am! Even my best friend calls me an "anorak", but look at this, guys! (Yes, another meaningless quiz to clutter up my blog!)

I'm a 7 -- I Knew I'd Never Be a 10

You Are the Enthusiast

7 You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life. You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new. Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy. You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.

What number are you?

Diary Entry

12.01 pm I went to see the doctor this morning for my neck. He says I have a "jarring whiplash-type" injury, and he gave me some exercises to strengthen the muscles. Of course, Simon heard me say "whiplash" and he said "Claim!" I'm not entirely comfortable with that, but I'll look into it, I guess. Graham and Marie had something similar happen where a piece of drain pipe or guttering fell off the side of the school (the one Malorie and Braden go to) and hit their son, and they received nothing. Despite the fact that I'm an American, I have never sued anyone in my life, unless you count when I sued for divorce!

I'm finding it really hard to wake up in the mornings. I even went to bed earlier than usual last night, but that didn't help. I would have a nap again tonight, but I forgot it's "Number Faire" or whatever they call their numeracy night at Ricky and Jack's school tonight. An hour and a half of maths. Not my favourite subject, but the boys are excited about it, and if it encourages them to practice their maths, I'll do it. Ricky says, "But mum! You can win a calculator!" That's it. Teach the kids maths and then tell them they don't really need to know them because they can use calculators instead!

1.20 pm Things could get interesting soon. Malorie's 16th birthday is next week, and she has decided she wants to have her belly button pierced. I'm fine with that. I have my belly button pierced, and as long as she takes good care of it so that it doesn't get infected, I will take her to have it done. The problem is going to come with her dad. He went ballistic when Braden had his ear pierced, to the point that he forced Braden to remove it before it healed. He doesn't see it as a "Christian" thing to do (despite the fact that he himself has his ear pierced, but he's above the rules). Braden is frightened of upsetting his dad, so he's never had it re-pierced. He's starting to grow out of it a bit, but I think he'll never have it done again. It's his ear, so I don't really care one way or the other.

Malorie is going through a "rebellious" phase, I think, only it's not just against me, it's against her dad as well. She doesn't like how restrictive he is, and she thought long and hard for months over the belly button thing. Sure, he showers her with material possession, and she is a very materialistic person, but she also wants to show her individualism. I try to let her be her own person as long as she follows the house rules. She's grounded right now because she hasn't been following them, but for the most part, I have good kids. So she can have her belly button pierced if she wants it pierced. I honestly couldn't stop her if she wanted to have it done. She can't legally get a tattoo, but she can legally get things pierced. Fortunately she doesn't want a tattoo. Not that I know of anyway. Her dad will just have to learn to live with the idea of her having a pierced belly button because it will probably be healed by the time he next sees her.

4.37 pm I wanted to take the boys to their "Number Quest" thing at school tonight, and they were looking forward to it a lot, but my neck is absolutely killing me! I've been doing the exercises Dr Cook gave me, but so far they haven't taken effect yet. Not that I expected them to work ultra fast. Things like that take time. So, being a mummy who puts the kids first, I asked their dad if he wants to take them. He asked if he could have them overnight. The boys said they want to spend the night. I conceded and off they go in an hour. I hate it when they're away, even though they drive me nuts when they're here.

I wish Jack would stop chasing the dog. He has feet like an elephant (Jack, not the dog) and all I can hear is "thud thud thud" coming from upstairs.

5.32 pm Last night I found out I'm not very white trashy. Tonight I found out I'm going to live to be 78. As long as I have all my mental faculties (assuming I had them to start with), I'd like to live a bit longer, please.

Most Depressing Day of the Year

Is Monday the 24th of January the most depressing day of the year? Evidently scientist think so. Sky News has been running a poll today asking viewers to give their opinion on what it is that makes today so depressing:

Is it the weather?
Is it debt after Christmas?
Is it bad habits?

They left one of the most important options off. Today is the most depressing day of the year because it is my ex-husband's birthday! It is the 33rd anniversary of the day he was let loose on the world.

Richard, if you're reading this, sorry but I couldn't resist. You'd have done the same if it was my birthday today!

Another Time Killer

Hey guys! I'm Egypt!

You're Egypt!

Curator of ancient mystical secrets, your life on the surface is fairly
typical these days.  Though you are in denial about more things than most people.
 Nevertheless, you're trying to convince people that you're safe despite your more
volatile and unstable times that seem to be behind you.  You like cats a whole lot.
Take
the Country Quiz

A Shameless Plug

I am going to do something shameless. I apologise in advance, but I can't help it. I have an addiction that gets me off the computer and doing something creative, and if I don't have a fix soon, I'm going to go nuts. If I don't have someone order some of the fruits of my creativity, I'm going to end up making them for myself, and that doesn't lead to marital bliss.

I'm a candlemaker, and I need to play with wax.

I was in my element before Christmas. It seemed everyone wanted candles. See, I make the smelly kind in all kinds of different scents (or "flavours", as men always seem to refer to them). The most popular is chocolate. I don't know why. My favourites are amaretto and black cherry. There's something soothing about adding the fragrance oils and letting the aroma flow through the house. It helps cover up the hubby's cigarette stench as well.

Anyway, if anyone wants to help a poor bored candlemaker in England, the links are at the side under Candles by Melinda.

Johnny Carson 1925-2005

One of my earliest memories is that of sitting up late at night with my grandfather, who I adored, watching Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show". My mum and dad never let me stay up that late, but my grandfather did. I remember not really understanding the jokes, but I laughed because my Pa Kip did. As I got older, I started to laugh because I thought he was funny, but he always made me think of fond childhood memories.

Johnny hadn't been on the television for many years, but I'm sad to hear of his passing. It makes me feel a little older as well.

CNN.com

Hi! I'm Little Miss Klutzy

I've decided I'm Little Miss Klutzy this week

Well, after falling down the stairs and bruising my, ummm, pride, I couldn't think of anything more appropriate. You can make your own Mr Men or Little Miss (or should that be Mr Man or Little Miss?) by clicking here.

8.50 pm Well, I've left it a bit late today, haven't I? I couldn't wake myself up this morning. I can always tell how tired I'm going to be by the dreams I have. Last night I dreamed I was married to Ashley off "Coronation Street". I don't even fancy Ashley off "Coronation Street". I also dreamed that I moved into a new house, and I was bragging to Pete that David Coulthard had opened a business just down the street from me. I even drew him a map with pictures. I'm sure I know where that came from because a friend of mine showed me a map he made to show where someone he knows lives. Then I was dreaming about creating banners and blogs. The dreams were all disjointed though. There was no flow, just chop-chop-chop from one to the other, and that always means I'm going to be tired all day.

Sure enough, I was late getting to the shop. Not that that makes any difference, as dead as Eckington is. I only had one person come in to browse the whole time I was there. I was going to blog in my diary when Pete, refreshed from a nap and not wanting to go to sleep because he had to get out and pick his daughter up from work, popped up for a nice chat. A weird chat, but a nice chat, as they usually are.

I tried to convince Simon to drop me off at the shop and keep his car in case he needed it. He said, "No I'm going to fix your car so I'll use it when I'm done". Then he rang me at the shop: "The exhaust I got yesterday doesn't fit. I need my car so I can take it back". So off home I went.

I got back to the shop and settled back down again with the intention of doing some blogging when Gary popped up. When people chat to me, I never think twice about blogs again. I just chat away, like the talkative person I am. I can't for the life of me remember what he said, but I nearly peed on myself laughing so hard. Oh yeah, he did the country test that is on my Scrambled Mind blog, and he said, "Oh no, I'm Mexico!" I got the giggles big time and asked if that meant he was spicy, poor and Catholic, then I had to run for the toilet.

I wasn't at the shop long after that because the pain in my neck grew so severe it gave me a massive headache. I came home, took some pain killers and went to bed. When I got up, Pete was online wanting advice on Blog Explosion, so I've helped him sort his blog out. I'm having too much fun with this.

The kids have been loud ever since they got home from school. Braden didn't go to school because he woke up throwing his guts up this morning. He never even told me because he said he didn't want to wake me up, bless him! I still can't get Ricky and Jack to shut up!

10.10 pm I just got Simon to take a new pic of the bruise on my backside. He got the one on my thigh too, but it's just showing a little too much ass for my taste. Not that I'm showing too much ass, it's that I have too much ass! Gotta love the stretch marks, too. Oh well, I came by them honestly. They're my battle scars from having four babies!



12.08 am I'm going to bed soon. My neck is still hurting and causing me to have headaches. I've been sitting here blogging for ages now! Mostly surfing, but I've put some absolute crap on my Scrambled Mind blog as well.

Hey, I've found out I'm not white trash!

Just imagine that! I came from Texas and I'm not a redneck. Okay, I know, rednecks and white trash are not necessarily the same thing unless you're talking to Jeff Foxworthy. The fact that I know who Jeff Foxworthy is and think he's funny might just put lie to the fact I've said I'm not white trash. I've put this here instead of on my other blog is because it's made me think of some former relatives of mine, both American and English. I say former relatives because they were only related to me by marriage. Now I think Erin and Kevin can almost qualify as rednecks, but they are definitely not white trash.

Radio Moron

We have a rule in this house that says whoever drives gets to pick the radio station. Unfortunately I keep forgetting about this rule until we're actually in the car backing out of the driveway, and my husband switches the radio to one of the smaller local radio stations. I'm starting to think the only reason he does it is to see me pull faces at him.

The DJs on this station are morons. They get on every last nerve I have in my body. For example, they announce that they have the following programmes: the 70s at Seven, the 80s at Eight, and the 90s at Nine. So far so good. But then the DJ says, "So catch the 70s at Seven at 7 o'clock tonight". Yeah? I was going to tun it at 10 to listen to it. What a bummer.

They've even started these contests where they give away £1,000. I thought, cool. If they're giving away £1,000, I'll listen. But after they explained the rules, a little disclaimer ad came on informing listeners that "All contest line calls cost 50p per minute, mobile calls may be higher". Ouch! The hubby tried to convince me that all radio stations charge if you call in to win something, but I was having none of that. The big radio station in Sheffield I listen to doesn't. So there, Simon!

Today's nerve grating came from their "All Request Weekend", which they advertised would be nothing but requests from listeners. The more I listened, the more I realised they were playing nothing but George Michael. Either A) no one was calling in with requests; B) someone was requesting nothing but George Michael; or C) the DJ decided "screw the audience" and played what he wanted to listen to.

It's no wonder I usually have the CD player in my car on.

Diary Entry

3.09 am Well, here I am, after three o'clock in the morning, and I'm wide awake. In fact, I'm more wide awake than I have been in ages. Perhaps it's because the stress of the assignments and exam is over.

I'm taking Simon to TGI Friday's today for lunch. I told him it was my treat. We haven't been anywhere on our own for ages. The last time was probably before we opened the shop last August. We've been out since then, but not on our own. The original plan was to go somewhere so I can take pictures and try out the new camera, but I think that's out of the question now. I'm still feeling really sore and bruised, not to mention the fact it's bloody freezing outside! I'll wait for either some warmer weather or for something worth taking pictures of.

I had a lovely long chat with Gary tonight. I can't remember the last time I chatted to someone that long, though it would have to be Pete. It was nice to be able to chat to someone without Simon glaring at me and giving me the evil eye the way he does when I chat to Pete. Since Gary's mum is British, and he lived in England for a while, we end up chatting about things we both know about. Plus with both of us having a lot of common like Formula One, writing and NOT George Bush, it's hilarious some of the things we come up with.

And speaking of Pete, he's back from his holiday! Yippee! I don't think he had much of a relaxing break though, from what I can gather, which is a real shame because he needed and deserved one. I haven't had much of a chance to chat to him lately, but I definitely know when he's away.

I've just had to take some more pain tablets. I was hoping I wouldn't need to but my neck is screaming at me. I don't feel tired enough to lie down, but it looks like I'm probably going to have to soon. I will as soon as I finish eating something. These tablets are terrible on an empty stomach.

8.48 pm We've had quite a busy day today. We went to get the new exhaust for my car and a bit Simon needs for his ice cream van. Oh fun. It did get better after that. We had a real laugh going through Frith's. They have some Valentines Day fireworks for sale. We were going to buy a couple of the big "Love Rockets", and I told Simon that he would have to ring Graham and ask him if he wants to come round and see his love rocket shoot off! That would be hilarious. Then they had some sex toys for sale with the Valentines' stuff, and Simon picked one up, put it in the trolley and said, "Happy Valentines Day!" In fact, he got off quite easy because we were looking for a bit of something to give Ricky until I can take him to town to spend his birthday money, and I found a little radio controlled McLaren with David Coulthard "driving". I was going to get it for both of us, but Simon said, "Happy birthday!" It's not my birthday for 15 more days. Still, at least it means he was thinking ahead.



After that we went to TGI Fridays. I told Simon I would treat him to a nice lunch. The size of the burger he always orders astonishes me because I can't believe he stays as skinny as he does! I took a picture of him eating it with my mobile phone and sent it by MMS to Graham. He asked Simon later why he didn't bring him one and called him a fat twat.

I had a normal cheeseburger, but afterwards, I picked a different drink to try. Last time I had a Screaming Orgasm, which I give a 9 to on a scale of 1 to 10. The Silver Mercedes I had today, which had vodka, cranberry juice, champagne and orange sherbet, I'll have to give a 6. It wasn't as nice. Next time I'm going to have a Barnumint Baileys. Yum!

I had a nap when we got home because my neck was really killing me again, and when I woke up, Simon asked me if I played with my new rabbit. I said no, it needs a wash because it's covered in WD-40! Yuck!

Now I'm blogging and watching an Australian crime documentary. A very chilled out day, I'd say.

10.01 pm I've got to do some checking into taking the older kids down to Blenheim Palace for a day out. I really want to go since it's been ages since I was there. I toured the house in 1994 on my very first trip to England, and I've been wanting to go back. My mum wants to retire to Woodstock so she can walk over and stare at Blenheim every day! I don't blame her, really. I'll bet that if my parents ever moved to England (though I don't really see them doing that), it would be to Oxford.

You do read some weird stuff on other peoples' blogs. One guy said "I've never met anyone from England or Canada who didn't complain about their medical system". That's funny. I've never met anyone in America who didn't complain about their medical system either. I lived in the US a lot longer than I've lived over here, too. If nothing else, they complain about having to pay for insurance coverage and any residual medical bills, if they have medical insurance to cover their health care in the first place. At least over here, everyone can get medical care. I've never had a complaint.

11.58 pm I've just created a banner for the first time! How cool is that? I'm gonna do some for my candle site and the craft site as well, but I started off with my Scrambled Mind blog. I was going to stick it on here just to show how cool it is, but I can't figure out how. Oh well.

Bad News for Some Americans

I've been checking out a lot of blogs today, thanks to Blog Explosion, and I have had such a laugh over some posts and their corresponding comments! I tried to leave a comment of my own on one in particular, but it wouldn't let me for some reason. The screen kept saying "Page Not Available". So, on the off chance that any of the people that this is aimed at will be reading, I thought I'd post my comments here.

To those of you who say that the UK liberal media wants to join the European Union while the British citizens are against it:

Guys, come on! The UK has been a fully participating member of the European Union since 1972! That's 23 years, longer than some of you have been alive, I'd wager. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourselves on the official EU website. I conveniently have this bookmarked because I'm a law student, and this year I'm required to study European Union law.

And this is something that's been bugging me for a while, though it's not aimed at anyone in particular. I haven't read this on a blog but I thought that this is as good a time as any to set something straight. People in Europe who are citizens of other countries can't be un-American because they're not American to start with. They can be anti-American, but not un-American, not in the way you are using the term.

I Had To Do It ...

I came. I saw. I had to post. There was no alternative. The moment I saw them I realised they were just itching to go on my blog. They are ...


The Greatest Bloopers of George Dubya

'Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.'

'We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.'

'This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases.'

'The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.'

[We will] use our technology to enhance uncertainty abroad.'

'The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.'

'...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas.'

'If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow.'

'There is no doubt in my mind that this country cannot achieve any objective we put our mind to.'

'It's hard to be successful if you don't make something somebody doesn't want to buy.'

'I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country.'

'I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past.'

'I think war is a dangerous place.'

'Sometimes, Washington is one of these towns where the person - people who think they've got the sharp elbow is the most effective person.'

'I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.'

'I have said that the sanction regime [against Iraq] is like Swiss cheese. That meant that they weren't very effective.'

'The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.'

'Will the highways on the Internet become more few?'

'Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.'

'I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question.'

'Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.'

'We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.'

'It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.'

'We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal — federal cufflink.'

'I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war.'

'You're working hard to put food on your family.'

'He married a Texas girl, I want you to know... A West Texas girl, just like me.'

'I think it's interesting. I'm a follower of American politics.'

'I'm the master of low expectations.'

'I had my first 'scope', as we say in the business, I think maybe five or six years ago. They discovered polyps for the first time.'

'There are a couple of cows waiting for me. You know, when I first got back from Washington, it seemed like the cows were talking back. But now that I've spent some time in Crawford, they're just cows.'

'I'm a patient man, which is hard for me to believe.'

'It's amazing with the software that has been developed these days that enable a camera to distinguish the difference between a squirrel and a bomb.'

'You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'

'I understand small business growth. I was one.'

'Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.'

Thank you, handbag.com! You've made my day.

Celebrity Bloopers

Just so people don't think I neglect bloopers from people other than George Dubya:

Stupid Celebrity Quotes from handbag.com [with commentary by Melinda]

'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'
Brooke Shields
[If you're dumb, you've lost a very important part of your ... whatever it is.]

'I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.'
Britney Spears
[But the boat trip across the water is hell!]

'I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.'
Alicia Silverstone
[I see where you're coming from. It's a light kind of deepness, like the pain you get in your head when you eat ice cream too quickly.]

'When people wear shoes that don't fit them, it says something about their soul. Generally, I think it means they are good people.'
Billy Bob Thornton
[I think it says more about their soles than their souls.]

'I can spend hours in a grocery store. I get so excited when I see food, I go crazy. I spend hours arranging my baskets so that everything fits in and nothing gets squashed. I'm really anal about it, actually.'
Cameron Diaz
[Anal and food do not go well together in a quote.]

'My child was not only carried by me, but by the universe.'
Celine Dion
[I refuse to pay child support.]

'Mum, have I sung at the Hollywood Bowl?'
Charlotte Church
[Mum, what is the Hollywood Bowl?]

'So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?'
Christina Aguilera
[Toledo, Ohio.]

'It's not that I'm stupid. I just don't think sometimes.'
Colin Farrell
[Well you're excused then. Not.]

'I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky ... a pulsating force of incredible energy.'
Davie Arquette
[I don't want to know ...]

'Underwear is such an emotional thing.'
Elle MacPherson
[Mine is kind of quiet unless it has PMT.]

'Is East Anglia abroad?'
Jade Goody
[No, Jade. You are a broad.]

'I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people.'
Keanu Reeves
[I know which one you are.]

'I called my son Jett and I wanted to call my daughter Qantas but my wife wouldn't let me.'
John Travolta
[You should have married Victoria Beckham.]

'I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a bogey then just pick it, man.'
Justin Timberlake
[I can see why he and Britney were a couple.]

'Everytime we sing one of our songs (the baby) starts kicking as if to say, 'Shut up, I've heard enough.''
Natasha Hamilton
[Funny, I've heard others say that as well.]

'I have been the artist with the longest career, and I am so proud and honoured to be chosen from heaven to be invincible.'
Michael Jackson
[Let's hear you say that if you're sent to prison and someone wants you to be his bitch.]

'There's a sculpture in our bedroom, a solid brass replica of Antonio's manhood. It's very expensive, he gave it to me as a romantic gift.'
Melanie Griffith
[Who said romance is dead?]

'Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.'
Martine McCutcheon
[Nope. It's just too easy.]

'You wake up in the morning and you look at your old spoon, and you say to yourself, "Mick, it's time to get yourself a new spoon." And you do.'
Mick Jagger
[But he draws the line at buying new knives and forks.]

'I feel safe in white because deep down inside, I'm an angel.'
P Diddy
[I feel safe in yellow but it doesn't make me a banana.]

'I enjoy the company of cattle. I really enjoy knowing them, running my hand over them.'
Russell Crowe
[Which is only legal in Louisiana.]

'I dress sexily - but not in an obvious way. Sexy in a virginal way.'
Victoria Beckham
[Sexy virgins. Sounds like a bad porn flick.]

'I think it is OK to sleep with strippers, it is a choice. It's a good thing that I got that sort of thing out of my system by now!'
Orlando Bloom
[I can see members of a certain forum for writers queueing up for pole dancing lessons.]

'When I start a movie, the first day, I feel like a duck.'
Penelope Cruz
[If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it's a duck.]

Henman Out!

Oh god, the "hope" of British sport is out of the Australian Open. I wonder if people care. As long as he makes it to the semis at Wimbledon, they probably don't. If he doesn't make it that far, Henman Hill will have to be renamed.

The Butt of All Jokes ...

Yes, following my fall down the stairs yesterday, I have become the object of not just a few jokes! My dear husband pointed out that it was a good thing I didn't fall on my head, otherwise I might have damaged the stairs. In that case, the university would have had a claim* against me! My father said he hoped I didn't get a concussion from falling on my brains.

Okay, guys, very funny. I'd like to point out, however, that knowing you two as well as I do, had it been one of you who had fallen down the stairs and sustained the same injuries, the world would have come to an end. You wouldn't have gone immediately in to take the exam, and you would have wanted to be waited on hand and foot since you wouldn't be able to lift a finger. I might be moving slowly, and I might have slept a lot of today because of painkillers and pain-escapism, but I've also done the dishes, paid the bills, cooked dinner, and looked after two of the kids.

Where's my halo?


*No, I'm not filing a claim against the university! I'm a law student, and I know tort law. I have no real claim against them because I have suffered no lasting injury (as far as I'm aware anyway) and I have suffered no financial loss. Besides, being American, I tread carefully in such situations as we have a reputation for filing law suits at the drop of a hat, thanks to a notorious claim against McDonalds for spilt coffee. However, I do intend to write a nasty letter to the university, and if I failed the exam, I will be roaring like a baby!

Diary Entry

2.36 am I'm going to try to go to bed in a few minutes, but after not sleeping last night and then sleeping most of the day, I'm tired but not very sleepy. Still, I have to go work in the shop all day today, so I better try to get a few hours' worth anyway. Don't ask me why I decided to post now because I can't think of a single thing worth writing. Typical of me.

3.29 am Geez, I hurt! I went to bed and didn't last an hour there because I had to come take some tablets. I seem to be getting more aches as time goes on instead of less. My neck is killing me now, so I won't be sitting here for more than a few more minutes. Now I know what Pete must go through when he says he neck is hurting, though I'm sure this pales into comparison of what he feels. I can't get out of going into the shop to work though. I have got to get those candle orders out!

12.47 pm I passed out not long after I took some tablets. That helped. I had the funkiest dream though. I can always tell when I've had some good solid sleep because I have long crazy dreams. This one was a cross between a nightmare, an erotic dream and a comedy. In it I was in Commerce, Texas, where I lived and went to university in the mid-1990s and where my grandmother still lives. I don't remember what I was doing, except a big passenger plane crash landed just outside town in a 9/11 style attack, and it turned out it was happening all over the US, not just with planes but with trains, too. That was the nightmare part. After that it turned funny. I couldn't help it. I grabbed my camera and went to take pictures, and when I got there, there were handsome half-dressed firemen all over the place. One of them was in his mid-20s and very very cute, and he took a fancy to me, so I went with him and his firemen friends to an adult bookstore. Not a dream I'll forget any time soon, even if I've already forgotten a lot of the minute details. I have very vivid dreams, and they're in colour and very detailed.

I found a blog a few minutes ago that really pissed me off. In it this girl said that Bush should remove all homeland security and airport security from those states that voted for John Kerry. How very American of her.

11.45 pm Boring day. Not a lot to tell, really, so it's another boring entry not really worth making. Simon picked me up from work at 3.00, I came home, blog surfed, fell asleep, and woke up. The end.

Exploding All Over The Place

Last night I decided to try something new. I submitted my blogs to Blog Explosion to see if anyone might take an interest in whatever fruitcake posts I manage to come up with. Actually, now that I've been approved and got down to business with it, I realised I don't care who reads my blog(s) because I'm having too damn much fun looking at everyone else's! I have "blogmarked" a ton of them already, and there are a few I'll pass on later, for the three of you (I've had an increase in readership of 100% in the past 24 hours) who might be interested.

Possible Blockbuster?

I am so tired. Following my "trip" down the stairs today, I can't sleep because I keep rolling over onto my bruises. So how, besides blogging, have I been spending my time? I've been channel flicking. With hundreds of channels available to me, I thought perhaps I could find at least one channel with something interesting.

I almost found it. My tired eyes misread the title of one of the films about to start. It said "Barbie as Rapunzel". I thought it said "Barbie as Rasputin". Now that is a film I would have watched!

Idiots of the Week

I have a new list of three people I consider to be the Idiots of the Week. One represents the man-with-tools in a fashion that would make even Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor cringe. One is the brother of a previous idiot who is guilty of sharing the decision for the first idiot to dress in a Nazi uniform.

But my top Idiot of the Week is a man who makes Americans look like sadists. No, I don't mean George Bush. I can't have him as Idiot of the Week because I would get into a rut. I chose an American soldier guilty of humiliating and abusing the Iraqis in his control.

You might not agree with my choices, but I think they are all good candidates for the honour.

Idiot of the Week Number 3: Patrick Lawler

Patrick Lawler was just a man with tools. A nail gun in fact. A nail gun that sent a 4 inch nail into his skull without Patrick realising it.

Fortunately for him, his wife worked for a dentist, and when Patrick complained of pain in his mouth, she arranged for him to have an x-ray. There it was, in black and white. A spike through the head.



He should have shot himself with the nail gun in the UK. We have the NHS over here. But since he lives in the US and has no health insurance, his little mistake with the nail gun is going to cost him $100,000. In return for paying his medical bills, he gets to keep the nail, which he says he is going to display in his living room.

Stick with a hammer, Patrick.

Idiot of the Week Number 2: Prince William

I decided to add Prince William to the list so he can share in the blame with his younger brother after it was revealed last week that Harry had worn a Nazi uniform to a fancy dress party. Not only did "Wills" attend the same party, he helped Harry choose the costume!



The "young and foolish" argument doesn't wash with me. Young men of the same age and younger are not only serving, they are dying in places like Iraq for the principles the Nazis opposed. Their great-great-grandfather gave up his German titles and cut off his German relatives who did not do the same because he wanted to distance himself from the Kaiser in pre-Nazi Germany. The present Queen's German relatives were not invited to her wedding to Prince Phillip following World War II. Neither were Prince Phillip's sisters, as they were married to German aristocrats.

Sometimes I wonder if being young, rich and privileged means you don't have to think. Let others do the thinking.

Idiot of the Week Number 1: Private Charles Graner

"I was only following orders". To me, that echoes the defense strategies of Nazis following the Second World War when they were tried for atrocities. That an American soldier would do such heinous things to prisoners, and then try to deny his responsibility by claiming he was told to do it just boggles the mind.

If you look at the photos, that is not the face of a man who is merely obeying his superiors. He was enjoying humiliating the Iraqis in his control at Abu Grahib prison. And if it were merely a "softening up" exercise prior to interrogation (which I don't believe for a second), why take pictures? That is sadism, pure and simple.



And following his conviction, when asked if he felt any remorse, his response was, "No, ma'am". It's no wonder Americans are not well-liked outside the United States with men like that as examples.

Diary Entry

5.11 am I've managed to sleep for about an hour or so. I keep rolling over on my bruised hip. I'm sure Simon's not going to be thrilled if I can't go work in the shop for a bit. He doesn't like working a whole day for some reason. I think it's because he can't do all the stuff he doesn't on his computer at home on the one at the shop. I hope that made sense because I'm so sleep deprived, I don't know what I'm saying exactly. I've definitely got to get up with the kids in the morning (as if it isn't morning already!) because it's the only chance I'll get to see Ricky on his birthday. He actually sent his dad a text message asking if I could pick him up for a couple of hours at dinner time so he could have a special dinner. Awww, bless him! His dad rang to tell me he already had plans, and I told him I hadn't even known about the text until after Ricky had already sent it. Ricky can pick out what he wants for his special dinner Monday night.

Not long now until it's Malorie's 16th birthday. Oh my god. I feel so old. Not to mention that once her birthday is over, it's my birthday five days later. I don't want to have any more birthdays. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting any presents, even though Simon has already told me what he wants for his birthday. His birthday is in August.

10.01 am Aww, bless him! Ricky is in such a good mood because it's his birthday today! He came and woke me up this morning at 8.15. Evidently Braden didn't wake them up, and Simon slept through his alarm. I fell asleep on the couch because of my hip, so I never heard anyone's alarms going off. I had to get Jack up, which was quite a chore because he tried to convince me that he didn't get any sleep last night. I knew otherwise. He snored his head off for more than nine hours. Simon didn't want to get up either and was in a bad mood when he finally did get up. He's just left for the shop. I've only had two hours' sleep, and I'm not half as cranky as he is.

2.57 pm I managed to get some sleep once the house was quiet. Even the dog let me get some rest. Simon came home for some lunch, so I returned the favour of making him something to eat. I cooked hot dogs. Well, I'm not feeling up to moving much. It seems every muscle has decided that it's going to scream in pain now. My neck muscles are sore, though I didn't realise it until I tried to turn around to speak to Simon. I'm not sure he believes me when I say that I'm in pain. He doesn't look very sympathetic, although he hasn't said anything.

10.18 pm I slept most of the afternoon away. Since I don't want to take any more pain killers, it's probably my body's way of shutting down so I can heal. Now I'll probably be up all night and wrecked in the morning when I have to get up and get ready to go work in the shop. At least I don't have to do anything except sit there. If someone wants something off a top shelf, they're out of luck.

Four More Years

Oh god. He wants to rid the world of tyranny. This does not bode well for world peace.

I have to say my hat is off to the protester who managed to get close enough to shout, "Hey Bush where are the Poor? Did you ship them off to war?"

That wasn't you, was it Gary?

Now That's a Big'un!

I heard on the news in the wee hours of this morning that a baby boy had been born in Brazil weighing in at 16 pounds 7 ounces. The report continued by saying that doctors tried to persuade his mum to give birth naturally, but she opted for a caesarian.

I should bloody well hope she did! My youngest was my biggest baby, and at 7 pounds 14 ounces, I screamed my head off giving birthday to him naturally. I believe in natural childbirth. I was lucky to have four relatively healthy pregnancies and ordinary deliveries. Ricky, who will be 8 tomorrow, showed up a month early, but he was a healthy baby.

But if the doctor or midwife had told me my baby would top 16 pounds, I would have been booking that caesarian in record time!


Awwww, isn't he a cutie?
Source SkyNews.com

Return of the Clutz

Yep, I've gone and done it again. This time I have the bruises to prove it. Where are the said bruises? Of course, since I'm frequently falling on my ass, they're on my ass this time as well.

How embarrassing is this? I was walking down the stairs with one of my classmates, Lucy. It had been raining quite heavily outside, and there were a lot of students dripping into the Pearson Building. The exam we were taking today, criminological theory, was being held in the Sports Hall, which is basically in the basement. I almost made it all the way down the stairs. Actually, I did make it all the way down the stairs. I just made the last part of the journey on my ass.

A nice guy stepped forward and helped me to my feet. I quipped, "Thank you. I had a rather nice trip". To one of my other classmates, I laughed, "Adam, do you think I can apply what I've learned in tort law and put in a claim?" On the outside, I was poking fun at myself, as usual.

On the inside, I was crying my eyes out and screaming in pain. I have a lump the size of an egg on my hip. I jarred my right shoulder, and I think I might have sprained my right wrist. That was not good going into a two hour exam when you're right handed.

I honestly don't know what I wrote on the exam paper. I know I regurgitated everything I knew about positivist criminology and it's contributions to theory, but I don't remember if I tied it in to how it affected future theorists. I did a poor job on outlining how Emile Durkheim was important to understanding crime. I even called him a German. I know he wasn't German. He was French. Duh! Instead of going into Durkheim's theories, I defined a couple of them and waffled on about Robert Merton using some and disagreeing with others.

Had I fallen sooner, I could have submitted an extenuating circumstances form to the School of Social Science and Law. That wasn't an option in this case since it has to be handed in 24 hours prior to the exam. How the hell did I know I was going to do some butt bouncing down the stairs? Next time I should submit one just in case!